Only Two Options
by LeeCan
Summary: Sarah battles with herself to stay professional, but as time goes by she keeps inching toward the inevitable.
1. Prologue

A/N: Timeframe is after Marlin

Trying for a little less angst for some of you...you know who you are.

Only Two Options

Prologue

_If you know what's good for you you'll pick up the phone and call Graham right now. Sarah, you know you need a reassignment. _

I stand by the side of my bed looking at my phone with Graham's cell number punched in. All I have to do is hit send. With a sigh that holds as much exasperation and frustration as it does fear and anxiety, I put the phone away. Somehow, I just can't make that call.

_Walker, you're going to have to come to grips with this situation. The longer you do nothing the sooner you will do something you'll regret, something that will eventually hurt you and Chuck. _

I've looked at my choices before, stay in LA and continue as Chuck's handler. I will keep him thinking that our relationship is as fake as my cover job. But I know that sooner or later we are going to be put in a situation where I will act on the emotions I try to hide from myself. It is only a matter of time. Besides, he already knows. He's just giving me time. _God, what a great guy he is._

_Stop it. Look what you're doing. Quit thinking of him like that. It only makes matters worse. _

My other option, I think as I focus on my original train of thought is to use the phone and call Graham. I could slip out of LA without a word and never look back…or could I? _Sarah…can you do it?_

My breathing picks up as I challenge myself. I know I am as close to doing it as I've ever been…or ever will be.

With another sigh of complete and utter frustration I say, _Sarah Walker, how have you managed to put yourself in this situation?_ I look around my hotel room. It is starting to feel cramped. I miss my apartment in Washington. Not that I'm ever there but that's where I keep all of my stuff. My rock climbing gear, my parachute, my kayak, my Harley, hell even my bicycle…all the things I love. I don't do any of that here. I miss it.

_You can have it back with one phone call._ It's like the devil's side of my conscience talking to me.

_But if you do that, you will hurt the one man in this world who loves you with all his heart. He loves you with a purity of spirit that you didn't even know existed until you met him._ OK, there's the angel side. I then wonder why it is that I chose to put the reasoning of going back to Washington as the Devils side. Interesting, I think.

If I do leave Chuck, what will that do to my love life in the future? Will I ever find someone else who measures up? I can see myself at sixty years of age. Old and lonely having given up on the one true love that I had and then either refusing to date other men or just dating one and moving on because no one is Chuck Bartowski_._ I shake my head to snap out of it.

I sit on my bed looking at my phone. I am a mess. I am beyond a mess. I can't talk to anyone about this. I have no friends outside the agency and no one inside would lend a sympathetic ear. I would hear from each and every one of them that the right thing to do is to use the phone. I know that it's true as well.

_So why don't I do it? _

The answer is obvious…but I don't want to say it even to myself. I don't want to even think it. I want to put my fingers in my ears and say LA LA LA LA LA loud as I can to block the very thought from my mind.

Tonight, I thought Chuck was going to be locked up for the rest of his life. It scares me to think how close he came to that conclusion. It scares me to think how close I was to stepping between him and the CIA. Now that really scares me. That would have been a move that I could not come back from and yet I was probably closer to doing that than I am to using my phone.

Just then my phone rings and I almost jump out of my skin.

I don't need to look to know who's calling. But I do anyway. I can't help but smile when I see the picture of my goofy asset pop up on my screen.

"Hey Chuck, what do you want?" I say a little harshly and wish I hadn't had.

"Sarah…I just wanted to say thanks."

"Thanks for what Chuck?"

"For everything, going through the garbage with me, saving me from the pita girl…being there for me."

I know what he means. What he means by being there for him is that I care about what happens to him. _He knows I care about him_. _He's just giving me a chance to come clean_. As much as I would like to say something else I know I have to keep him at bay.

"Well it would look bad on my record if I let you get captured by Fulcrum."

"Yeah, we don't want that."

_He's not buying it_. "Chuck, I'm tired can we talk in the morning?"

"Yeah, that's the other reason I called…"

"Why's that?"

"To tell you goodnight."

I can't help it. I smile in spite of myself. "Goodnight Chuck."

I throw myself on the bed and look at the ceiling. _Only two options_, I say and wonder when I will get the courage to act or when will this assignment go bad.

_Only two options_…I went to sleep thinking those infuriating three words.


	2. Chapter 1

Only Two Options

Chapter One

"I'm sorry Sir, what was that?" I say hoping I misheard.

"Walker, I know this is outside protocol but we have an opportunity here that is worth breaking some minor rules for." Director Graham said.

"You want me to take Chuck back to my hometown…introduce him to my family as my fiancé while I spy on a business associate of my fathers. Sir, this is problematic for me in so many ways," I say and watch Director Graham's vein in his neck twitch as he silently regards me.

"Are you refusing to do this?" he finally asked.

"No sir, I'm just saying if there is another option I would appreciate us exploring it."

"No, this gives us the best opportunity for success and that's what we need to do. We need Chuck there in case he flashes on something and we need you there because this guy will not suspect the daughter of one of his business associates."

"Yes sir." My head is swimming. If only I had made that call yesterday. Now it's too late. Chuck is going to know my real name, my family. He will always have a way to get word to me. There is no way I will be able to just quietly slip away. No way that I can keep him out of my life…even if that's what I wanted.

_I knew this would happen_.

"Walker, you tell the intersect and we'll go over the mission parameters with Casey. He's strictly surveillance on this one?"

"Uh, sir, how do I introduce Chuck to my family? Should I use an alias or his real name? Does it even matter?"

"That's up to you Walker. This should be the last time they ever see him so it doesn't matter either way. Just use your own preference."

_God, if I introduce him as an alias how do I bring him back later if we ever did manage to work this out._

_Why did I think that? Surely Sarah you're not even thinking that is a possibility. _And, if I introduce him as Chuck Bartowski, my fiancé, it's only going to embolden him further. My luck is that they are going to fall in love with him and push me to marry him before we leave! No, he's got to be Charles Carmichael. That's the only thing that makes sense.

"I'll let him know sir. When do we need to be in Portland?"

"ASAP Walker, I don't want to miss an opportunity. Good luck."

"Thank you, sir." I disconnect the call and begin to pace my room. I am shocked to realize that a part of me is thrilled at being able to introduce Chuck to my parents. But for the most part, I am scared shitless. On this mission I know that the downside is much greater than the upside. I hope we can get through this unscathed.

Oh well, I sigh, I better get this over with. Chuck's going to freak when he finds out that we're going to my parents for a visit. He'll need to arrange for some time off work which I'm sure the CIA will no doubt assist in.

I throw off my robe and start getting dressed. I decide on jeans and a top. _Chuck loves this top._ Shit, I almost change tops but decide that that would be juvenile.

As I walk down the steps of my apartment, I begin to daydream about seeing the look on my mother's face when she sees Chuck. She's been after me to get a boyfriend for years now. Wait till she hears I'm engaged. _I know she will just die for Chuck_.

_Sarah_…I stop and put my thumb and index finger to my brow as I dip my head trying to concentrate. I try to remove the ghost that is Chuck from haunting my mind. Something has to give I say to myself as I walk out of my apartment building and hop in the Porsche.

Oh shit, we are going to need a cover for Chuck. If I'm a big shot international banker, I doubt if my family will buy the fact that Chuck is a Nerd Herd Supervisor at a local Buy More. That's problematic because I doubt if Chuck can pull off a deceit of my folks. Bad guy's are one thing but my parents are all together a different story.

I have to give that some more thought. I would prefer that Chuck use a cover. At least I know that is what a good agent would do. I have a nagging suspicion in the back of my head that I might find a way to do something else.

I pull up to Ellie's apartment and walk across the courtyard to the front door. Just as I am about to knock, the door opens and there stands Ellie in her hospital greens.

"Sarah, what a nice surprise. Come in."

"I'm sorry to bother you Ellie but I knew it was Chuck's day off and I need to talk with him."

She smiles at me and holds up her left hand showing me the gorgeous wedding ring that Chuck and I sifted through garbage to find. God the look on her face. If I had never seen pure joy before I certainly have now. I couldn't help but break out in my biggest smile as well. Ellie's joy was completely irresistible.

"Sarah, I want to ask you now so you have plenty of time to prepare. Please tell me that you will be in my wedding?"

I am speechless. My hand goes up to twirl my hair around my finger and as hard as I try I can't bring my eyes to meet hers. I never saw this coming. I clear my throat stalling for time. "When is it Ellie?" I finally meet her gaze.

"We've not set a date yet…sometime next year. Please say you will? It just won't be the same if you're not in it."

"Of course I will, Ellie," I say recovering my senses. I hope to God that I will not disappoint her.

We share I moment of awkward silence and then I motion with my head towards Chuck's room.

"Yeah, sure go on in. I know he won't mind."

"Thanks Ellie, it means a lot to me for you to think of me like this."

"Sarah…nonsense, I think of you as family."

I hope my face does not betray the shock I feel. I guess it never dawned on me that Chuck wasn't the only person on this assignment that would come to love me. I don't know how to even start to think about how that makes me feel. Here is a woman, a fine woman full of life and love for everyone she meets, well except for Morgan. She has accepted me into her family and heart…asked me to participate in the most special day of her life. And then there's me… I can't really say if I'll be here next week.

It made me feel underhanded.

I say goodbye to Ellie and stop outside Chuck's door. I listen to see if he's up. Hearing nothing I open the door slightly. I see Chuck lying in his bed with his adorable hair all mussed up. He looks so lovable that all I want to do is get in bed with him and just squeeze him as tightly as I can.

I sit at the edge of his bed and without thinking I run my hand through his hair. _God I love to run my hands through his hair_. Then I notice…he's looking at me.

"Uh, Chuck. You need to wake up. I've got something to tell you," I say and watch a concerned look consume his face.

"What is it Sarah?" he says with a sleepy look still on his face quickly being replaced by concern.

I'm not sure what he's thinking but I suspect that it may have something to do with a reassignment. It then occurred to me that that possibility may play across his mind as much as it does mine.

"We've got a new mission." I say watching the relief spread across his features. "It is out of town and may take a week or even two," I say and shush his protests. "The CIA will take care of all the details with the Buy More. Don't worry about any of that."

He sits up straighter in bed. "Where are we going? What's the mission?"

_OK Walker_, I say to myself. _If you are ever gonna pull this off you'd better get in the zone._ I take a deep breath very slowly so he doesn't notice. "We're going to my family's house. My father has a business associate that I am going to investigate."

I watch as the information soaks into his brain. He can't contain the smile on his face. "You're kidding me right. This is a joke?"

"No joke Chuck. Get ready, you're going to meet my family."

He was so excited that he got out of bed, went to pull his pants on and then his shirt. It never occurred to him that he did all of that while standing in his underwear. Funny, I thought. I always had him pegged for a boxer man. The briefs he wore would give me something to think about on those nights when I couldn't sleep. That was almost every night.

"This is a CIA sanctioned operation, right?"

"Right, what else would it be?" I said before thinking. He had wondered if this was something that I had planned myself. This poor guy. He wants to be a part of my life…my real life so bad.

I noticed the slight downturn of his expression but then it was back to joyful exuberance. "When do we leave? Where are we going? Are your parents the Walkers?" he asked in rapid succession.

"Hold on, I will tell you everything you need to know. The first thing you need to know is that we are on a mission. This is serious. I'm not sure what's involved yet so just keep in mind that this could be dangerous. I don't want my family and especially you getting hurt."

_Shit, what did I just say?_ I hope he didn't pick up on the fact that I put him ahead of my family. I saw a satisfied smile briefly blossom like an early morning flower. But then it was gone. _Shit, I keep digging the hole deeper_.

"What's my cover?"

_Here it comes_, I think. "You are going as my fiancé. I'm not sure if you're Charles Carmichael or Chuck Bartowski. I'll let you know when I decide."

"Why does it matter?"

_He has gotten really good at asking just the right question_, I say to myself. "I'm not sure that it does. I just want to make sure that everything goes right with the mission," I say and hope that I am convincing. It appears as though I was because he drops the subject much to my relief.

"Look Chuck, you will either be Chuck Bartowski, Nerd Herd Supervisor or Charles Carmichael, Banking Executive. I've not decided what works best for the mission."

Damn it. I thought I saw a hint of something in his eyes. I'm not sure what it was but it told me that he wasn't just blindly excepting everything I tell him. Just another reason for him to be Charles Carmichael, I think.

"Sarah…is that your real name?"

I know how big this moment is for Chuck. I never expected to ever tell him this. Well not like this anyway. "My name is Sandra Lisa Walden; at least it was for the first twenty years of my life."

He snapped his head around to bore his eyes into mine. "Sandra Lisa Walden. You've been with the CIA since you were twenty years old?"

"Yes, I was recruited out of Boston College." I think what the hell; he's going to need all this information anyway to pass as my fiancé." _Shit, he'll need all my high school stories. This is going to be a disaster. _

"When do we leave," he said his movement was quick and full of excited motion.

"We need to leave as soon as possible but it occurs to me that I need to go over quite a bit about my life. If you're my fiancé then you will need to know about me."

"Sarah, I can't imagine having a better mission than this. This is everything I have wanted for months now. To know something real about you and now I do."

I can't help but feel joy at his honest happiness just in finally knowing my real name. It was like I'd given him a million dollars. That's the Chuck I've come to lov-. _What are you saying, Sarah_. You better get your head on straight right now.

"Chuck, this is serious. You better get your head in the game and stop grinning like a five year old at Christmas…be at my apartment as soon as you can."

I storm out of his bedroom, madder at myself than at him. I can't help it. Poor guy, he must think I'm crazy. If I spend any more time in LA I probably will be.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Is the italizied thoughts confusing on top of Sarah's 1st person POV. I would appreciate knowing if you like it or not. I'm working on something else and I would like to try something similar but I hesitate. Your comments would help.

Only Two Options

Chapter Two

"Come in," I say at the knock on the door.

"I got here as soon as I could. I had to stop at the Buy More and pick up my check." He walks over to my little circular table that acts as a breakfast area and a desk.

"Sit down Chuck. We've got a lot to cover. I've had the CIA send my family history to your computer. Its password protected, just type in my real name, lower case no spaces and it will open. You need to study that tonight when you get back to your place and have everything memorized."

"No problem," he said his mouth pulled up at each end.

"Chuck…this is serious." I've prepared myself all morning for this. I've got to get Chuck back in line.

"I know its serious Sarah but it is also exciting for me. Surely you know that?"

"What is exciting for you is a problem for me. You are not supposed to know anything about me."

"Why…I don't understand. Why can't you tell me anything about your past? Is it what Carina said?"

I spin around on him. "What did Carina say?"

"Nothing really, I think she was joking but I don't know for sure."

"What – Did – She – Say?"

"She said I would never know the real you. She said that you might one day have to put a bullet in my head. That's why you would never get close to me for real."

I don't know why I'm shocked. Carina's absolutely right. Agents and assets don't mix. Many an asset has been eliminated by their handlers after their usefulness had ended.

I look at Chuck's face and see that he has worried about this. "Chuck, I could never do that. You know that don't you?" _Watch it Walker, get your head back in the game._ "But, that doesn't mean that I might have to betray you somehow. Allow you to go to that bunker or choose between protecting you and your friends. I wouldn't do what you wanted…I would obey my orders. That's what agents do Chuck." _That's it, stay strong_.

I see that I've hurt him. It kills me to do it but I can't let him bounce around like a kid in a candy store all day. I just can't handle that. "Look Chuck, I'm sorry that I hurt you but it is the truth. We are not… I don't know what you think we are but I've got a job to do and I'm gonna do it." _My heart feels like it's been ripped apart_.

His eyes well up as he silently regards me. Finally, he snorts disbelievingly. "I'm not buying it Sarah. I've seen too much. I know you have feelings for me. Can you really deny it?" he said pushing his face toward mine.

_Come on Sarah. Here's your chance. Drive the stake in hard and you might just get out of this unscathed._ But just as I am thinking this he did something completely out of character. He reaches across the little table and grabbed my hand with his.

"Sarah, please. I need to know. It's not just some wild fantasy or a crush or a fixation. I need to know how you feel. Because I can tell you that I lov-"

"Chuck." I stop his words but I can't keep my eyes from joining his in their tearful state. I see that he sees. "Chuck…don't." I say with a little girl voice.

He slammed his hand down on the table as he gets up from his chair. "Damn it Sarah, why not? You can't tell me how you feel and you won't let me tell you how I feel." He hesitates as he looks around the room trying to find something to say in his complete exasperation. He then looks at me with this expression I've never seen before and begins to shake his head ever so slightly and then more robustly. "That's it. I've had it. I can't take this anymore." His stride took him to my door in a second.

"Chuck…please." I stand up as I plead with him not only with my words but with my eyes as well. "I need you. I mean, I need your help...with the mission" _He knows what I mean._

He calms down almost immediately at my plea. I feel somewhat dirty knowing that all I have to do is turn on the tears to control him so completely, not that I did that on purpose, but I know I can.

He stops with his hand on the door of my hotel room. Deliberately, he closes it, turns to focus on my face. "I can't tell you no. But I will tell you Sarah that you steal something from me when you do this. Something for here." He put his hand over his heart. He hung his head. "Where do we start?" he said coming back to sit down across from me.

I gasp ever so slightly. I'm not sure whether he didn't hear or chose not to let on. How can I continue to deal with Chuck when he's this open and honest about his feelings for me? I have no defense against it.

We are both subdued at this point but we have work to do and I push to keep us focused.

"I don't know if I will introduce you as Chuck Bartowski or your cover alias but you have to be prepared for both. Can you lie to my parents and tell them you are an international financial analyst?"

"I don't know anything about finance Sarah, international or otherwise."

I assume he is telling me that he doesn't want to lie about being a banker. I'm not surprised. "Here, take this file and study up on international finance. You may have to be Carmichael on this one. I don't know yet. So be prepared."

"OK," he said with some reservation as he took the folder from me.

I don't know if I'm more comfortable now or before. We are doing our work but it isn't the same. I grow more uncomfortable the longer we work in this awkward atmosphere. After a while I need a change of scenery.

"Let's take a break. I'm getting hungry. You?"

X-X

On the way to the little restaurant that Chuck and I frequent, I argue with myself if this is the right time to bring out the engagement ring I have for Chuck's and my cover engagement.

Still not sure as we sit in the booth we always asked for, I make a hesitant decision.

"Here, you should probably give this to me to make our cover engagement official."

"Wow, look at the size of that rock! Sarah, this will never work. There's no way I can afford something like this."

"My parents don't know that."

"Okey Dokey," he said coming over to my side of the booth and sitting down beside me. While looking at the ring in his hand he says, "Sarah Walker would you…"

All of a sudden our eyes meet and his words stop. I cannot tell you how long we search each others eyes but it seemed as though a lifetime could have been lived within that space. _I've never seen eyes like his before. They can see into my soul and at the same time open themselves up to me so that I can search the depth of him. _.

Then, I got really uncomfortable. We clearly exchanged…something. I'm not sure what to call it but I know that he knows that it was not unilateral on his part. _Sarah you can have those eyes to stare into every day for the rest of your life, you only have to open up to him. _

"Chuck, sit down and give me the ring. You don't have to get flamboyant on me." I say trying to laugh it off. He did as I asked and grabbed a menu which I knew was just to have something to do with his hands. We both know what we are going to order. We always get the fish sandwich. It's become a joke of ours. We talk about all the great items on the menu and then we both order the fish sandwich.

Still caught up in the feeling of timelessness as our mutual gaze locked out the rest of the world, I slide the ring on my left hand admiring its beauty. I have to admit, the CIA has good taste.

We both say at exactly the same time, "What are you gonna have?" and break out laughing at our own personal joke.

Before either one of us can answer I hear a familiar voice.

"What are you two doing here?" Ellie said with a huge smile on her face. "I thought I was the only one who knew about this place. Have you tried the fish?"

Chuck and I share a smile.

"Hey Ellie, what are you doing? Sit down. Join us." I say hoping that she doesn't because Chuck and I still have a lot of work to do.

"I can't stay," she said sitting down beside me. "I've gotta get back to work."

"Ellie, I haven't had a chance to tell you that Sarah and I are going to meet her parents in a day or two."

Ellie looked at Chuck and then me. She's obviously reading a lot into this. I was just about to say something that would make it a little less meaningful when I was interrupted.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Let me see it." Ellie grabbed my left hand and began to scrutinize the ring I should have removed.

"Ellie, its not-"

"Ellie, we wanted to tell you first but it just happened sort of spontaneously," Chuck cut me off and looked at me with the "play along with me on this" kind of look.

I don't want to play along. In fact I'm livid. What does he think he's doing?

"Ellie, we are going for a very long engagement. OK? Sarah and I are not ready to get married anytime soon." Chuck kept looking at me to play along.

All of sudden, I got it. There was no way out of this situation. No story that we could come up with that would be believable. My breathing starts to increase as it sinks in what has happened. Chuck and I are engaged. At least in our cover lives. It seems ever since I refused to call Graham I have sunk into a hole deeper and deeper with each passing day. Now, with this new wrinkle with our cover lives, Chuck and I will have to act more like lovers than ever before. Making it harder and harder for me to keep my mind on my job and off of Chuck. _But there is an upside to this. _I shake my head to get clarity.

I look at Ellie who is congratulating her younger brother. She is genuinely happy for him. Happy for us. It makes me think about my family. We aren't as close as Ellie and Chuck but we are a loving family. I know my younger sister will be all over Chuck asking him question after question. I remind myself to make sure he is ready for Mindy.

My brother will be another story. I really don't know how he will act towards Chuck.

"Sarah, when you get back from visiting your folks, we have got to have a celebration at our apartment. This is the best. I'm just so happy." Ellie looks at her watch and with an obvious expression of regret on her face, tells us that she has to get back to work. She gives me another hug and then one for her brother. Standing at the edge of the booth, she smiles at both of us.

"Oh, I just had a wonderful thought…Let's make it a double wedding. Devon and me and Chuck and Sarah. What do you think?" she asked looking back and forth between the two of us.

I can't even take in air let alone form a sentence. _Do it. Tell her that's a great idea._

"We'll talk about it later Ellie. Remember, we said a long engagement." Chuck said saving me from my thoughts.

"I know, I know. Just think about it. OK?"

"We'll think about it," he said stealing a look at me. Ellie walked away with a bounce in her step like never before. I can see this is probably the best day of her life. It makes me sad to think that it is all a lie. I turn to Chuck.

"What were you thinking?" I can see my eyebrow at the top of my vision. I'm mad at Chuck for putting me in this situation even though it is my fault that Ellie saw the ring in the first place. I'm mad because I know that I only have myself to blame. I knew that something like this would happen eventually if I stayed. I just never expected it to be so soon.

"Sarah, let me explain. You don't know Ellie like I do. There was no explanation for you having an engagement ring on your finger and us not being engaged. It would have started her thinking. Trust me you don't want that. She would never stop until she came to a conclusion. None of us wants that. So the only thing we could do is tell her what she wanted to hear."

I know he's right but I know just how much more complicated my life had just become.

"Chuck, I've got to make a phone call. Graham needs to know about this right away. Order for me would you?"

"Sure, what do you want?" he said smiling with his lips not separated.

"Surprise me," I said laughing. It's funny even when things are at their worst as far as I'm concerned, Chuck can still make me laugh.

I walk outside and dial the number. "Walker for Director Graham. I'll wait." I had to dial his office phone because his cell went to voicemail.

"Director, this is Agent Walker. We just had an unfortunate incidence here and I thought you should know about it. No sir, it's that Ellie Bartowski saw the engagement ring on my finger and we had to tell her that Chuck and I are engaged. Very well sir. I just thought you would see this as a bit more problematic. I understand." I disconnect the call and walk back into the café. My lunch is waiting for me and so is my new fiancé.

"How did it go with Graham?"

"Fine, he thought it was actually a good idea. Said I could do a better job of protecting the intersect under those conditions."

"What conditions are those?"

I had no intention of telling Chuck that Graham suggested we move in together. I needed a little more time to digest that myself. _The hole was getting deeper, I thought_.

X-X

After eating we go back to my apartment. I open the door to find John Casey sitting at my desk with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. I sigh as I know why he's here.

"Chuck, if you don't mind, could you give Casey and me a second?"

"Sure Sarah," he says and stands outside the door.

"Chuck… I really need to speak with John privately. Could you wait downstairs?"

He just nods and goes back the way he came.

"Well Casey, bet I know why you're here."

"Walker, I just wanted to be the first one to congratulate you. Have you set a date yet?"

"Can it Casey. You just want to rub it in."

"No, I just want to see the ring. You know our hard earned tax dollars paid for it. I think I have a right to see it."

I hold my left hand out giving him a good look.

"Walker, you can fool Chuck, you can fool Graham, hell you might be able to even fool yourself…but you can't fool me. You're so wrapped up in the intersect you can't see how compromised you are."

I looked at the smug self-satisfied smirk plastered all over his face and as much as I try, I cannot control the wave of anger that sweeps over me. I drop my left and clench both fists.

"What is it you want from me Casey? You want me to admit that I'm in love with Chuck? Well here you go. I'm not only in love with him. I'm cra-zy in love with him. You can't predict what I'm liable to do next, John. Maybe I'm planning to run away with him. That's it. Or maybe you just like needling. Find a tender spot and see what happens when you poke it.

I stop to appraise Casey. I don't think my outburst had any effect on him which made me even madder.

"Tell you what John…what if I am in love with Chuck like I said...crazy in love. Maybe I will devise a plan and just run away with him. You know so we could live without anyone's meddling. I would only need about eight hours and you would never see us again."

I finally see the smile leave his face. Good, I think. It's about time I wiped that smirk off his ugly mug.

"Walker, you're crazier than I thought." He stood up to leave. At the door he stopped and turned around. "You better have been pushing buttons just then. You really don't want me believing you're compromised."

I smile as sweetly as I can. "Eight hours and poof. We're gone."

Casey leaves my apartment shaking his head.

I sit down because my legs will not support my weight. I know that I just played a dangerous game with him. I know he likes Chuck but he would never let me run off with him. Chuck is too valuable to be underutilized. At least in Casey's view.

_If Chuck and I did run off together he would be anything but underutilized_. I cringe with that thought. _You know it's true._

I sit down and wait for Chuck. We've got a lot of work to do before we leave.

X-X

For some reason throughout the day I hear the word _utilize_ at least ten times and every time I do I picture myself in bed _utilizing_ Chuck to the fullest.

X-X

It's the end of the day. Chuck and I leave tomorrow for my hometown of Portland, Maine. I think he's ready and I hope I am. I'm lying in bed watching the news. The newsman said on the late night report. "The President will _utilize_ all of the resources at his command."

_Shit, I think as I get up to take a cold shower. _.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Be aware of an implied sexual encounter at the end of the chapter.

Chapter Three

"Sarah you said your family was well to do but I had no idea." Chuck said as he looked at my childhood home.

"Chuck for the last time, my name is Sandy. Got it."

"Sandy, right. I got it."

"Who am I going to be?"

_The smart move is Carmichael but then I can never bring Chuck here again. _

"You're going to be Carmichael, are you up for it?" I say. I see the disappointed look on his face. Somehow he figured out that there was some significance to how he was introduced. We get out of the rental car and begin to walk up the brick walkway to the house. It is a huge Tudor with green shutters on the ten sets of windows in the front. Shrubbery outlines the lawns and flowers are in bloom everywhere. It looks like an old English scene from a magazine.

"Sandy. How many bedrooms does this house have?" he said looking around the grounds.

"There are eight upstairs and two in the basement." We begin to walk up the concrete steps to the front door when I remember an oddity of my family that Chuck needs to know about. I can't believe I almost forgot about this.

"Chuck, I forgot to tell you something." I look at him while he stares at the house. "Chuck! It's important."

"Yeah, I heard. What is it?"

He seems pissed at me, I think to myself. Probably about having to be Carmichael.

"I forgot about a little idiosyncrasy of my family that you need to be aware of. Since we are engaged it will be expected that we give each other a goodnight kiss before retiring. It's kind of theatrical really. Just for show."

"I don't understand. You mean in front of your family?"

"My grandfather started the tradition with my grandmother almost sixty five years ago. My father kisses my mother in front of us kids or any other guests there may be in the house. It's sort of an 'all's right with the family' kind of thing. Since we're engaged we will be expected to do the same." We stand at the front door of my parent's home holding this conversation.

"You tell me this now? Sar-, Sandy, you know how I feel about PDA."

"You'll have to get over it Chuck…it's expected."

Chuck turned completely around before looking at me, his arms outspread. "What kind of kiss are we talking? I mean there's a wide range to choose from. Are we talking a small peck or serious tongue action? What are we talking here, SANDY."

"You're making too much out of this Chuck. Just a small kiss. That's all."

"Are we talking about a second in length or three seconds? You gotta help me out here. Or I'm gonna blow this."

"Here, let me show you. We'll kiss like this tonight before going off to our separate bedrooms." I stand on my tiptoes and with my arms at my side I press my lips to his. Immediately, I am waylaid by the burst of electricity that comes from Chuck's soft, sensuous lips. _I forgot how soft his lips are_. My legs grow weak at the knees and I fall into him. I don't know when I did it but suddenly I am aware that I have my hands at the back of his neck pulling his mouth down so I can kiss him the way I want. I then notice that his hands are at my back and pulling me even tighter against him. I open my lips and his tongue finds mine

As our tongues introduce themselves, I start to moan with the pleasure of finally letting go. At last, I show Chuck just how I feel about him. I have imagined doing this again ever since the bomb incident a few months ago.

Just before we stop to get air, the front door opens and there stands my mother, father, brother and sister looking, mouths open, at Chuck and me. We are somewhat disheveled from our lip lock Olympics.

"Hi Mom," I say giving her a big smile and ignoring being caught in the act. I give her a hug. I hug, my father too and say hi to my brother and sister. _What the hell was that? I never felt that with anyone before._

"Everyone, I want you to meet Chuck Bartowski, my husband to be. Chuck this is my mom, Linda, my dad, Dennis, my brother, Sam and my sister Mindy.

Chuck looks at me confused but with a slowly developing smile on his face. That's when it hits me. I introduced him as Chuck Bartowski not Charles Carmichael. _And that's how you can get him killed. By losing your focus_. _Now get back in the game and make this work. _

"Were you going somewhere?" I asked.

"No dear we heard a noise at the front door and went to see what it was…seems like it was you and Chuck," she said smiling at me knowingly.

So far so good, I think to myself. Mom approves. I am happy and concerned at the same time. As we walk into the large living room, Chuck leans into me and whispers into my ear.

"We don't actually kiss like that before going to bed do we,' he said smiling wickedly at me.

I can't help it and laugh at his question causing my entire family to turn and look at me. In the back of my mind, the CIA agent is worried about the kiss but for now, I decide that we are on an assignment and Chuck is my fiancé. I intend to make the most of the situation. I just tell myself that I need to make sure that I don't do anything that will cause any more problems when we get back to LA

"Come in Sandy, we want to meet Chuck. He's the one from LA you told me about last month, right?"

"Mm uh, that's right." _Shit, I forgot about that. Chuck knows I've talked with my mother about him. When this assignment is over he is going to press me to come clean. Can this get any worse? _

We sit down in the living room, Chuck and myself are on the love seat while my mother and father are next to each other on the couch. My younger sister is in the chair next to Chuck and I and Sam, my brother is across the room.

"So, Chuck, Sandy tells me you are some kind of computer genius?" Mom says.

"Oh, no, I just know how to repair them."

"Tell us how you met," Mindy says with a look of anticipation.

Chuck and I look at each other. "You tell it," I say.

"I work at the Buy More and Sandy comes in with a phone problem. I fix it. That's all there is to it."

"No, that's not all there is to it. You helped that guy and his daughter with the ballet."

"Yeah, this guy filmed his daughter's recital or something and didn't know he needed to put a disc in the recorder. So we reshot the ballet."

"Chuck, you're downplaying the whole thing. That guy would have never had the memory you provided had you not helped him out." I say with conviction.

"So, is that when he asked you out?" my mother says to me.

"Well no. I actually asked him out," I say and watch my family gape at me speechless.

"Sandy…you asked Chuck out? On a date?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Chuck asked clearly intrigued by their response.

"Well Chuck, you may not know this about Sandy but she is notoriously picky when it comes to guys. She only had one boyfriend throughout high school and he ruined her for some time."

"Yeah, I know. The football quarterback. Right?"

"That's right. Ben Saulters. The guy every girl wanted to date and Sandy went with him for three years," Mindy said smiling at her sister.

"Mindy, that's water underneath the bridge," mom said.

I notice Chuck is interested in the subject and shoots me a quick look. _Oh great. I know he's going to ask me about Ben. Just what I need, discussing the one guy who broke my heart with my asset. _

"Would anyone like ice tea?" Mom said looking around the room. After everyone said yes she turns to me.

"Sandy, would you help with the tea?"

I've been expecting this. She can't wait to talk to me about Chuck. "Sure, mom." We leave Chuck alone with the rest of my family. I hear Mindy asking him questions about LA as I walk out of ear shot.

"First of all, let me see that ring," Mom said grabbing my left hand. "This is very pretty Sandy. Did you pick it out?"

"Yeah, Chuck had a hand in it too though."

"Tell me about him Sandy, what it is about Chuck that's finally got you over Ben?"

"Despite what you think, Mom. I've been over Ben for years. Remember the guy I brought home three years ago? We were pretty serious."

"That Bryce guy. Oh, honey. We all knew that wasn't going anywhere. He was good looking but nothing below the surface if you understand me."

I have to laugh because I've heard it before about Bryce.

"You never answered my question. What is it about Chuck that lets you know he's the one? Remember, this is your mother you're speaking to. I want the unadulterated truth."

I knew this was coming but I am still speechless. I try to decide how to handle this. Looking around to see if we're alone, I begin tentatively.

"I'll give you the short answer and then the long one, Mom. First of all, Chuck is the nicest person I know. He's nice to everyone. He's good and he's a descent man."

"And…"

I know what she's after. _Tell her the truth Sandy. What's it gonna hurt_. "And, whenever he's in the same room with me, I can't keep my eyes off of him. My heart races and I get short of breath. When I kiss him, like on the front porch, I get weak in the knees. I think about him all the time, also when we fight it just kills me to know that he's mad at me. I can't wait to see him again so we can make up...Is that what you want to hear?" I say smiling. I look at my mother and see she is looking over my shoulder. I turn quickly to see Chuck standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a shocked expression on his face. _How much of that did he hear?_

I watch him come into the room and glance at me repeatedly. _If he didn't hear it all he heard enough. How am I going to talk my way out of this? _

"Mindy wanted you to know she wanted sugar in her tea," he said. "Sandy, could I speak with you for a second?"

"Why don't you two take your bags up to your room? I've got it ready for you. Sandy it's the blue room."

"You've got us in the same room?" I ask

"I know that it's sort of a break with tradition around here but we had a family blowup in the fall when your cousin Kelly came over for a week with her boyfriend and I wouldn't let them sleep together. They said I was out of touch. So I've decided to relax the rules. That is unless you tell me you've not been in the same bed together?"

She looks to me and then to Chuck. I see he isn't going to touch that one with a ten foot pole or a pole of any length. "Yes, of course we have Mom. The blue room is fine. We'll get our things and get unpacked." _What the hell do I sleep in? I didn't expect to be sleeping with Chuck. Shit, will this ever end?_

Chuck and I go out to get our bags. He is quieter than normal which leads me to believe he has a lot on his mind. I dread when he does start talking.

I lead the way to our room and show him where he can put his things. I watch as he closes the door.

"Sandy…I don't think I'll ever get use to calling you that by the way. I heard what you said in the kitchen. And I know you'll try to find some way to tell me you didn't really mean it but I know you did. I just want you to know that I'm here. I right here. All you have to do is come to me. Today, tomorrow or the day after that. I'll be right here."

Chuck is standing on one side of the bed and I on the other. I'm glad because I want nothing more than to run into his arms and resume where we left off outside the front door.

"Chuck, I don't know what to say." I feel the tears well up in my eyes and overflow.

"Tell me you meant what you said in the kitchen. That it wasn't just for cover. Sandy, please. Just tell me the truth."

_You know you meant every word. You might as well admit it to yourself. You're in love with him. Come on Sandy. Tell him. He deserves to know how you feel._

"Chuck, I don't know how to say this. You know I'm not good with words." I start to walk around the bed so I can look into his eyes when I tell him that I love him.

Standing in front of him now, my eyes fill with tears of joy as I finally decide that I am in love with Chuck Bartowski. And, that I am going to tell him how I feel.

"Chuck, I just want to say-" I am interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Everything OK in here? I brought up your ice tea," Mom said poking her head into our room. I know she sees the tears in my eyes.

"Everything's fine Mom. We were just talking about how to make the bed, you know, sleeping arrangements. We both want the same side."

"I'll tell you what my grandmother told me about that…it's not how you make the bed it's who you make the bed with." Mom looked at me as seriously as I can ever recall in my life. "When you find that person Sandy, nothing else matters. You remember that." She closes the door as she leaves.

I look at Chuck and take a step back away from him. I need time to think. Everything is happening too quickly.

I see Chuck looks disappointed as I step away but then a quiet smile replaces his disappointment. "Today, tomorrow or the day after that…you remember that Sandy." He says and walks into the bathroom to unpack his toiletries.

I collapse into the nearest chair. _You're in love with him Sandy. You admitted it to yourself. Now, when are you gonna tell him? _

I gather myself and a leave for the door. "Chuck, when you're done, I'll be in the living room with everyone else."

"Be right down, he yelled from the bathroom."

X-X

I watch Chuck join us in the living room. He sits down beside me on the love seat and grabs my hand. I know to him he is not acting. This is Chuck with the woman he loves…me.

"So, when is the big day?" Mindy says looking from me to Chuck.

We look at each other hoping the other one has a good answer. Finally, I realize Chuck is not bailing me out of this one. "We haven't set a date yet. We'll wait at least a year. Don't you think honey?"

"Uh, right. At least a year," he said pulling at his collar.

"Why wait so long…Chuck are you a little squeamish?"

"No, Mrs. Walden, I'd marry Sandy today if I could get her to."

I give Chuck that look that says 'wait till we're alone' but notice my entire family is looking at me. "Well it's not that I don't want to marry him. I said yes you know. It's just that we have busy schedules and I think we need this time to get to know each other better."

"You don't think you know me well enough now?" he said the hurt showing in his voice.

"No, I didn't mean that. It's just that well this is a big step and I don't want to make any mistakes."

"Sandy, we can wait as long as you want. Five years if that's what you want."

"You want to wait five years before marrying me?" I ask hurt.

"No, I didn't say that. I just meant that I will wait until you're ready. If that takes five years, I'll wait."

"Oh," I smile at everyone. _Walker, get your head back in the game._ I practically cringe from the internal scolding I receive from the CIA agent that is my conscience.

What just happened, I think for the hundredth time since this mission started. Chuck and I were actually talking about our marriage and at least from my perspective, I wasn't acting. I was serious and I'm pretty sure he was too.

The rest of the afternoon and evening goes by while I'm in a daze. I can't believe that I was thinking about my marriage to Chuck as though it were real.

We announce our intentions for bed and the goodnight kiss goes without a hitch. But I have to admit that I felt something again when our lips touched.

I am lying in bed beside Chuck. I'm looking up at the ceiling. He has been unusually quiet since we've gone to bed. I know he's giving me space and time to think. Besides, he's already said what he needed to say.

Chuck gave me an oversize T shirt to wear and along with my panties that's all I have on. For some reason this makes me more uncomfortable than when I wore the sexy teddy to bed at his apartment. This seems much more real. So much more normal.

"Chuck…can I ask you a hypothetical question?" I say and feel the bed move as he turns over to face me. _He looks adorable in his pajamas_.

"Yeah, sure. Anything, you know that."

"I want an honest answer from you on this…it's important." I say and watch him nod his head up and down. "Remember this is hypothetical, OK?"

"OK," he says.

"What do you think the chances are of, let's say, and undercover cop and, let's say, an assistant manager at a grocery store who fall in love and try to make it work. The undercover cop has to be away for long periods of time. And the cop is a woman. Sometime the cop is asked to do things as part of her job that she would never do in her real life."

"On top of that she cannot talk about her work with her lover. So she always appears secretive."

I finally look into Chuck's eyes.

"Do you think they have any chance of making it work?" I say afraid to hear his answer.

Without hesitation he props up on his elbow and looks down into my eyes. "Even if there is one half of one percent chance of making it, I know the grocer would want a chance. He would want to give it everything he had to make it work. Not sit back and wonder what might have happened."

Now the question I'm afraid of. "What if the outcome was either they made it or they ended up hating each other? Would you still accept those odds?"

I see that he is struggling with this question. I've already decided that if he can answer this question well, I'm going to drop some of my defenses.

"Sarah…I know you're name is Sandy, but the woman I fell in love with is named Sarah. I would hate to think that the cop and the grocer could ever hate each other, but I have to say that for the chance of loving the cop, the grocer would go for it." He continued to stare into my eyes.

I decide that I like his answer and reach up to the back of his neck and for the second time today, I pull him down and kiss him hungrily. Tomorrow I will worry about the consequences of this night. But tonight, I only cared about one thing. I love Chuck Bartowski and I want him.

As I move myself under him I can't help but laugh silently to myself. Why was I worried about wearing only his T shirt and my panties anyway?


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: This chapter was cut short so I could post it. It's possible I won't be able to post another chapter for a couple of days. I don't know yet. I'm doing my best to keep this fully in the Charah realm, although I am fighting my instincts. lol.

Only Two Options

Chapter Four

I wake up with a start…and a smile. I turn to look at my lover.

And my asset.

I see the note on his pillow saying he'd gone downstairs. I listen for my conscience to start in on me…nothing. _That's right Walker, even you had to enjoy last night. _I know it's only a matter of time before she begins her discourse on what a fool I was to make love with Chuck. Lying in bed right now, thinking back to our love making, I've never had better. I don't think I've had better sex, I can't say for sure but what Chuck and I shared last night…is beyond words. _It even shut Walker up. _

I stretch out lazily reliving some of the highlights. I even moan softly as I visualize my favorite part. I kick off the sheet covering my naked body and lay there thinking about how good Chuck was in bed. I know it was because he wanted to please me. And in so wanting, he put his needs in the back seat. This made me work harder at making sure he was satisfied. As I think this, I understand that that is Chuck. It is not surprising that he would want to please me in bed more than himself. He's that way with me in everything he does. _Sandy that should tell you something. That should tell you that you can be happy with Chuck no matter what happens with the rest of you life._

I take a deep breath. I know the time for worrying about last night will come. But now will not be that time. I get up, take a shower and join my lover and family downstairs.

As I walk into the kitchen where everyone is, Chuck and I lock eyes. His normal goofy grin turns into a serious look. I know what I'm feeling is serious too. Somewhere in my peripheral vision I know that Mindy is watching us. I can feel her gaze on me. I know she looks from me to him and then back to me. I see a huge smile spring to life on her face.

"It's about time sleepyhead," Mom says with a smile.

"Sometimes a girl just needs to sleep in," I say as I walk behind Chuck. I linger behind him and as I do I rub my hand across his shoulder and then into his hair. _God I love to do this. _

He holds his head back with his eyes closed to feel every sensation. I can't help it. I drape both arms around his shoulders and down to his abdomen and kiss his neck "You feeling OK…lover?" I whisper so only he hears. He turns his head and kisses my ear in response. I close my eyes to concentrate on the feel of his lips against my skin.

I stand up and my family is watching Chuck and I with jaws dropped.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister," Sam said.

"Chuck, I don't know what you've done to her but I can honestly say I've never seen her act like this before. She has always been so reserved around guys." Mindy said.

"That's just because Ben is such a shithead. Mindy and I thought Sandy might be playing for the other team there for a while," Sam said.

"Sam, that's an awful thing to say. Tell him Dennis."

"Listen to your mother, Sam," Dad said without looking up from the paper.

Sam shutup. Daddy was a man of few words but when he did speak we always listened to him. We had forgotten years ago why we just knew that was the way it was.

I look at everyone seated around the table. "Take a good look. This is how I look when I'm in love. So if I whisper sweat nothings in my fiancé's ear, ignore me or not. I don't care but I'm not going to stop. This is my fiancé and I'm in love with him. OK?"

"Well said, dear. Now come get some breakfast," Mom said not looking up from the paper.

I slide my hand across Chuck's other shoulder as I walk to the stove to get some sausage and eggs. I looked back at him as my hand leaves his body and see that he is watching me too.

"Honey, after breakfast lets take a walk around the grounds, I want to show you some of my favorite places."

"Sounds great," he said his voice a little higher pitched than normal.

Chuck is finished with his food and I wolf mine down so I can get him alone. I am dying to feel the warm wet softness of Chuck's kisses on my lips.

"We'll see everyone in a couple of hours. I'm showing Chuck around the grounds"

"Sandy, can I come too?" Mindy said laughing.

"Yeah, I wanna come too," Sam joined in on the joke. They both knew what I had in mind for Chuck.

After giving both of them a look. "Not this time, maybe next." I said and pulled Chuck out of the room and out of the house.

The minute I close the door I turn on Chuck trapping him against the house. Again I feel the electrical spark as our lips meet. Chuck kisses me back and then stops. I pull away to see why.

"Sarah, I mean Sandy. Don't get me wrong. I love kissing you and you know the other stuff…but I'm confused. I don't think this is for our cover but you've never said what I am hoping to hear you say," he said holding on to my shoulders.

I realize that I have showed him I love him but I haven't said that I love him. _Sandy, you're going to do this and do it right. You've put this man through hell for the last nine months and you are gonna make things right starting right now. _

"Chuck, I'm in love with you. I'm head over heals in love with you. I can't stand the thought of not having you in my life. This is not for our cover relationship it is real. It is how I feel. I may pay for this one day but I don't care. I want the opportunity to make it work. I love you Chuck. And I want to be with you." I finally stop to gage his response.

I watch his smile grow as my words sink into his spirit. Then as if we were communicating through ESP we lunged at each other for another round of lip wrestling.

When we feel like we have had enough, I grab his hand and began to show him the grounds.

"Sarah, how are we going to deal with this when we get back to LA?"

"Chuck, please call me Sandy. That's my name.  
"It's hard for me because I fell in love with Sarah."

"No you didn't. Trust me on that. You fell in love with Sandy; you just didn't know my name. Sarah is the CIA Agent. She's the one that's kept us apart all of these months." I capture his eyes. "Trust me Chuck, its Sandy you love."

"OK," he begins tentatively. "How are Chuck Bartowski and Sandy Walden going to deal with the fact that they are in love when they get back to LA?"

"Well, we are engaged, I mean our cover lives. Graham wants us to move in together so I can protect you better. I think that I just make the pitch that we have to act like we're in love all the time. We never know when someone is watching."

"No Sandy, that won't work. It's not honest. I want to be above board and out in the open with everyone about it, and that includes the CIA."

"That's not a good idea. I know them. I would be on another assignment so fast you wouldn't know what happened."

"What about Casey? Can we trust him?"

"As long as we are successful, I look for John to look the other way. Just don't flaunt it in his face. Always give him an out so it is not obvious that he knows. We just have to be careful not to let our love for each other distract us from the job we have to do."

I take Chuck's hand in mine as we walk around my childhood home. I show him the horsebarn, the orchard and the pool. He is amazed that I lived such a lavish lifestyle. Not what he expected from a CIA Agent I suppose.

After making the tour of the grounds we stop to make out three times, we finally go back to the house.

Going back into the kitchen hand in hand, Chuck and I sit down at the kitchen table to drink a glass of tea.

"Hey Sis, Hilary Davenport called and wants to get the old gang together since your back in town. I told her you would call her back," Mindy said looking to see my reaction.

"Ah, I don't want to relive old times tonight." I say.

"Why not Sandy? I think it would be fun to hear about Sandy Walden straight from all of her friends mouths," Chuck said.

I really don't want to do this but I see Chuck is excited about it. I know he will find out some things about me that I would prefer stay hidden. But now after telling him I love him. Those incidents in the past don't seem as important to me now.

"Did she leave a number? I'll call her back."

"Yeah, it's on the board." Mindy said.

I come back in the kitchen after calling Hillary Colton and look at my fiancé. "It seems we have a date for tonight. We're getting together over at my old friend Hillary's family's house. There will be about eight couples."

"Did you bring some nice "date" clothes?" I ask Chuck.

"Not really. Do I need some?"

"You bet you do and so do I we're going shopping. I wouldn't be caught dead in Hillary's house with nothing but the best in fashion. That goes for you. Get your things we've got some major shopping to do."

We went out to the car. I'm driving because I know where we're going.

"So, Sandy. Am I going to hear all the juicy Sandy Walden stories tonight?" he said with a wicked smile.

As I drive out of my families drive I look at my lover. "Yeah Chuck, I suspect you are. And right from the people who were there to see it." I smile at him to let him know that I don't care.

The only way that would change is if Ben were there. He could tell a story or two I would rather Chuck not hear.

I look over at him as he is looking at the beautiful Maine countryside and wonder what he would think of Ben. How would they get along if they met? I hope that never happens.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: OK all of you Charah shippers. Forewarning. BUT... let me know if your smiling at he end.**

Only Two Options

Chapter Five

On the way over to Hilary's house I decide I better tell Chuck a little bit about my relationship with Ben Sowter I am not looking forward to this conversation. .

Evidently he can see my anxiety and asks me what's wrong. "Chuck, you're going to learn something about me tonight that I wish I could keep from you. In fact, I wish it were not true…but it is," I say turning to look at him. I see that he is concerned.

"Whatever it is Sandy, it's not going to come between us."

"I pray to God you're right Chuck but I got to tell you that it was Ben that came between Bryce and me."

"It was just after Bryce and I got back from vacation that I brought him out to meet my folks. We were at a get-together just like tonight and Ben was there. He waited until I was alone and asked me to meet him later. I can't believe I did it to this day."

"You cheated on Bryce?" he said not believing it.

"I did. Bryce and I almost split up over it. In fact, we did but he eventually took me back. That's just about the time he went rogue. Or at least we thought he did. You see that's why I had such a hard time staying here in LA with you. I felt I owed Bryce."

"Chuck, I don't know what it is about Ben except I guess he was my first love." I say turning to look directly in Chuck's eyes. "I know it's not love like we have…I guess it's just lust. I'm really glad he's not in town. I made sure before coming out here." But I want to tell you that you will hear a lot about Ben tonight. We are always the topic of conversation when I come back to town. He's still the neighborhood hero."

"Sandy, that's old news, just forget about it. Let's enjoy the evening. Hey, we look great in our new clothes don't we?"

I smile at him in response. He can always cheer me up. "I just want to say that ten years ago I was pretty wild…we all were. But Ben was the star quarterback and I was a track star and homecoming football queen. We made a noteworthy couple."

"Sandy, I know that you kill people for a living, bad people, but nonetheless, you kill people. Do you think this is going to change how I feel about you?"

"I'd never really thought about it like before. He's right. I'm an assassin…and yet he still loves me." I can't believe that I am worrying about him finding out that I had sex when I was sixteen…with Ben."

I drive to Hillary's house in a better mood. Chuck's right, he's not gonna hear anything worse than I terminated the Dictator of a country because he disagreed with American policy. Of course, Chuck will never find out about that.

We pull up to the house and get out of the car. As we walk to the house Chuck has to comment that he thought my house was a mansion until he saw Hillary's. I laugh. We are both in a good mood.

I knock on the door and within seconds Hillary is there to great us.

"Sandy, come in," she says giving me a hug. She then steps away from me and looks blatantly obvious at Chuck. "He's not like the last guy you brought. He doesn't look a thing like Ben."

"Look like Ben?" Chuck said.

"Very funny Hil. For your information, he's nothing like either one of them. He's a lot better," I said to her. "Everyone here thinks Bryce was a smaller version of Ben," I said to Chuck.

"Ooh Sandy, this is going to be a better night than I thought," she says laughing.

I don't know why but there was something in the way she said that that put me on edge. The small voice in the back of my head. That voice I rely on to keep me alive on missions was screaming at me to get the hell out of there.

"Everyone, look who's here. Sandy and her fiancé. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," she said looking at Chuck.

"Chuck…Chuck Bartowski."

"And her fiancé, Chuck Bartowski."

Everyone was here, I thought as I looked around the room. I took Chuck to meet each of my high school friends individually.

"Chuck, this is Bev Martin…and her husband Jim."

"This is Kathy and Kenny Townsend. My fiancé, Chuck Bartowski."

We went around the room until everyone had a chance to say hi to Chuck. As we all sat down and began to talk I relaxed a little but I couldn't get Hillary's greeting out of my mind. I knew her. I knew when she was up to something. I just never dreamed that I might be the target of one of her attacks.

As I've grown up and moved away, I know there were a lot of things about my group of friends that left a lot to be desired. We were all rich and spoiled and heaven help anyone that crossed out path. I have at least three incidents that I cringe every time I think about them. If I had any idea who the poor kids were that we teased so cruelly, I would go to their house and apologize to them.

"So Sandy, you're getting married?" Mitch said in a completely unbelieving tone.

I ignore it. "That's right, we've not set a date yet but most likely within a year."

"How much has she told you about her high school days?" Mitch continued looking at Chuck

Chuck did not respond. He saw through Mitch in an instant.

"Did she tell you she tried to commit suicide when Ben dumped her?"

Chuck looks at me and I see he is concerned.

"Did she tell you if Ben walks through that door tonight she'll be sleeping with him and not you tonight?"

Chuck stood up. He took one step toward Mitch when I grab his hand. "Sit down sweetie. They've got something up their sleeve…might as well see what it is," I say to him.

"Chuck, if I were you I wouldn't come back here until after the wedding. Sandy doesn't do very well with the guys she brings home after she sees Ben."

Everyone laughed.

"These are you friends?" Chuck asked out loud still standing.

"Once," I said. "You're right. Let's go." I get up to leave and then everyone starts saying they're sorry and begging me to stay. Against my better judgment, I sit back down.

"How do you like living in LA, Sandy?" Bev says.

"I love it," I say still guarded. I know something is going to happen. "Chuck and I are getting an apartment soon and we have a lot of friends and family we hang out with. It's really nice."

"Sounds really nice Sandy," Bev says. I hear someone snicker. Just when it hit me what these guys were up too, the front door opened and in walked Ben Sowter greeting everyone in the room without even looking at me. I don't know why but my heart rate goes through the roof.

_He has got to be the most handsome guy I've ever laid eyes on_. I know Chuck is watching me but I can't take my eyes off of Ben.

He finally comes to stand over where I'm sitting and as he looks down at me, his pelvis at eye level, he says, "Hi Sandy, I heard you were back in town."

You would have thought that he said it in French or that he said something cleverer than what he did. It just sounded so good to me.

Chuck had had enough. "Introduce me to your friend Sandy," he said standing up. I did the same, part of me glad to get away from Ben's pelvis and part of me was not.

"Chuck Bartowski this is Ben Sowter. Ben, Chuck," I said very stiffly. The guys say hello and that's it. I know Chuck usually is more talkative but he clearly senses something amiss with this so-called gathering of friends.

"Ben sit down," Steve says and moves away allowing Ben to take his spot…right beside me on the opposite side of Chuck.

I try as hard as I can but with Ben sitting next to me I cannot stop myself from visualizing the last time we made love. Hell, who am I kidding? We didn't make love…we fucked. We fucked each others brains out. When I didn't know if the other night with Chuck was the best sex I had ever had, it was only because of that time three years ago in Ben's family cabin up near the lake.

Jesus Sandy, get a hold of yourself. I look over at Chuck. I see he's annoyed with me.

I smile at him and get little back in response. _Shit, he knows what's going on with me_.

Sandy you will not lose Chuck because you can't say no to Ben. That's not going to happen. I consciously reach over and lay my hand on Chuck's thigh. That reminder, that tactile sensation helps me to focus.

I keep my hand on Chuck the rest of the night.

The questions are all plastic, all too fake. It's clear to me what's going on here. It's clear to everyone. At some point when Chuck get up to go to the bathroom or starts talking with someone else. Ben will whisper in my ear like he did three years ago.

Sure enough, after three beers Chuck makes a run to the restroom. As I watch him disappear from sight, I feel the hand of Ben on my back. I can't help it, I tingle all over at the touch. He leans in and whispers in my ear. I know what he's going to say but it is still exciting to hear him say it.

"Sandy, ditch the boyfriend and meet me tonight up at the cabin, OK?"

I look at him. What I want to say is, go to hell but what comes out of my mouth is "I don't know Ben. I don't think it's a good idea."

"Sandy, you know it's not a good idea…it's a great idea. You know how great we are together."

I look in his eyes and nod my head up and down. You're _going to throw away what you have with Chuck for one more night with Ben? _

Chuck comes back into the room and sits down. He leans over to me and says he's ready to leave.

"Everyone, I hate to be a party pooper but I'm feeling really tired. Chuck and I are going to leave."

"Oh Sandy, we were having such a good time," Hillary says. A few more people echo the same comment and I hear a few snickers from the group as well.

As we walk to the car Chuck looks at me. "That was the worst time I've had in at least the last five years."

"Yeah, I used to call all of them friends."

It is a silent ride back to my family's home. We pull into the parking space for the car at my family's home when suddenly Chuck breaks the silence with a question I know is coming. We know each other too well.

"Are you going to see him?"

I can lie or tell the truth. "Yeah, I'm going to see him."

X-X

I drop the car off at the parking lot of the old abandoned Kroger store. Within minutes Ben pulls up beside me. I take a deep breath before getting out of the car. I think as I open the door to his car that this night will most likely change everything for me. Nothing will be the same after this.

We drive up to the lake. It takes about fifteen minutes. Not three sentences are spoken during that time. Talking is not what we ever did well.

Eventually, he parks the car in front of the cabin and we get out. I am excited to get started and hurry into the cabin. Ben follows right behind me. As soon as I'm inside, he grabs my waist and spins me around. "Remember the last time we were here?" he asks with a grin on his face.

"How could I forget, I say as I reach my hands up and run them through the sides of his hair. "You get undressed; I have to go to the bathroom. I join you in a second."

I go into the bathroom and stand at the door listening. When I hear that his removed his clothes I yell out to him through a small crack in the door.

"Ben, could you go out to your car? I left my purse out there and I need something I have in it. If you know what I mean?"

I hear him grumble but I hear the door open and close. I rush out of the bathroom and open the front door and using his keys that I lifted from his front pocket I lock his car with his remote lock. I then close the door and lock it.

I peer through the window and Ben is looking from his locked car to the locked house when I see understanding seep into his features ever so slowly. He runs to the house completely naked and starts banging on the door.

"You bitch. Let me in."

That's my cue. "Chuck, I'm ready. Come get me," I say going out the back door locking it before closing it. I hear Ben coming around to the back of the cabin to try his luck with the back door so I go the other way.

Perfect timing, I think as I see the headlights of Chuck's car coming up the lane. Jumping in, I smile at Chuck with my brightest smile. "That was so good," I say. "Give me the camera."

I wait for Ben to come running around the front of the cabin and take about ten pictures of him in various poses. He sees us and starts to run towards our car. "Don't leave me out here like this you BITCH," he screams.

I deliberately take another picture. "Everyone's gonna get a copy of that one Ben," I say leaning halfway out the window.

"Hey Ben, I yell just before we drive out of sight. "Fuck You." I slide back into the car and Chuck and I grin at each other full of joy. I have just exercised a demon that I thought would always haunt me. Only with Chuck's love was I able to overcome that desire to spend another elicit night with Ben.

Chuck and I go back to my family's home. We go to our bed and we have sex. We don't make love, we have sex.

There were two demons exercised this night.

**A/N: I bet I had some of you going there for a while. Bet I was being hated on. Let me know what you thought.**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: This short chapter was not in my original outline. It really doesn't move the story along but it doesn't get in the way so I am including it. However, we all have Canadian Chucky to thank, or blame, for it being here. He asked me if I ever write about nothing and this is my attempt. Thanks cc, I liked how it turned out.**

Only Two Options

Chapter Six

"You know what amazes me?" Chuck says as he watches me stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom.

"What's that?" I say putting on my mascara. I just stepped out of the shower and slipped one of Chuck's undershirts on as a cover up. I know he's admiring my body. I have to smile into the mirror as I peer intently at my left eyelash. My long blond hair is wet but combed and I know my body still glistens from the shower even though I've dried off.

"I'm amazed at how you turn into a girly girl in front of a mirror. Honestly Sandy, I think you could get lost standing there."

"Very funny," I say. "What about you in front of one of your video games. I could walk around naked for all you would know," I say concentrating on my makeup.

"I'll take that bet. There's no way you could be in the same room as me naked and me not know about it."

"You're on. What do I get if I win?"

"Hold on. Define naked. I don't mean just a flash behind my back."

"I'll bet you when you're really into it that I can walk around for at least a minute right in front of you and you won't know it."

"No way. There's no way."

"Like I said…what do I get if I win?"

"Name it. I don't care what you say because there's no way. I would know if you're naked."

"OK," I say turning from my mascara to look at him. "If I win you fix breakfast for me on demand for a year." I say with an expression that says top that. I laugh with joy at the sheer audacity of my bet.

"Done," he said seriously.

"You're joking right?" For a whole year, there's no way you can do that," I say turning back to the mirror.

"I've accepted your bet. Give me a second to think about what you have to do if I win."

"You just think you know everything don't you?" I say joking with him. It feels great just to talk about nothing really, just as long as we can talk with each other, that's all that matters.

"I bet I know something you don't know," he says with a twinkle in his eye.

I know he's got something up his sleeve but I bite anyway. "What," I say and can't keep a straight face. I start laughing.

"What's so funny?" he says coming behind me and grabbing my waist.

"Uh uh uh," I say telling him to be careful of my makeup. "I've just spent twenty minutes putting this face on…I don't want you to come along and ruin all my hard work."

"Like I said, you get lost in front of a mirror."

"I'm still waiting on your bet if you win."

"Give me a second here, your bet is gonna be hard to beat."

"It's about time you admitted defeat," I say smiling at him through the mirror.

"I'm not admitting anything… Back to what I was saying."

"What were you just saying?"

"I-was-saying-that I know something you don't know."

"Oh, that," I say as though I can not care less about the topic. In fact, I'm dieing to know what he thinks I don't know.

"Yeah, that…bet you can't guess what it is."

I give him the look.

"Ok Ok, this is what I know that you don't know…you snore. Well technically that's incorrect because I don't think medical science has come up with a name for what you do," he could not contain the smile on his face.

"I do not snore."

"I just said that and besides how would you know if you snored or not?" he asked as though he had me.

"Because Bryce would-" I look up at him hoping that speaking of Bryce and I in bed together did not ruin the great camaraderie we had going.

"It's Ok Sandy, don't act like I don't know you and Bryce slept together…but the point is…he never told you. He wasn't as honest as I am."

I'm starting to worry that Chuck is telling me the truth. "You're not kidding me are you?" I ask hoping he tells me he's joking. If he does I'm gonna make him pay.

"Ask Casey, I'm sure he's heard you too."

"Oh, God, that's all I need, something else for Casey to start in on me with."

"Casey will never tease you about that. Have you ever heard him snore? I got it on tape and played it for him."

I had to laugh because that is just so Chuck. Having some fun at Casey's expense.

"I know something about you," I say hoping he takes the bait.

"What's that," he says seriously.

"You're gonna get really good at making pancakes."

"Hardy har har. We'll see who's laughing when I come up with my bet," he said.

I go back to the mirror.

"I just thought of what my bet is gonna be if I win," he said seriously.

"Does it top mine?" I glance at him in the mirror.

"You tell me."

It was something about the tone of his voice that made me stop with the makeup. I looked at him without turning around. I knew he had come up with something big.

"Ok, what is it if I lose…I fix breakfast on demand for a year…is that right?"

I shake my head.

"Well if I win…you have to eat the breakfast I cook for you everyday for the rest of our lives."

I gasp. My hand goes to my mouth involuntarily as our eyes meet through the mirror..

He puts his hand on the small of my back and just waits for me to say something. I see from his expression that, once again, he's put himself out there and is afraid of my response. I don't like having that kind of power over him. The power to hurt him like no other on this earth.

I consider my reply before speaking.

Turning to embrace him I say, "I hope you win."


	8. Chapter 7

"OK, back on the story ark. Hope you like this. I struggled with it more than normal. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or commented in one fashion or another.

Only Two Options

Chapter Seven

I wake up and my body stiffens… my old partner is back.

Sarah Walker.

That part of my consciousness that wants to obey every rule the CIA ever thought of. _I guess you're happy with yourself, she said._

_As a matter of fact I am. I love him and so do you and don't deny it_. I shoot back with vigor.

_Sandy what you're doing will get him killed. _

_I've got one question for you Sarah…Why were you not complaining last night. Why wait until this morning to start in on this old argument that we've had for eight months now._

Silence…she didn't have an answer to that one. She knows as well as I do that she is as in love with him as I am. She just doesn't know how to let go of the training she's so embraced.

To call my alter ego a split personality would be completely overdoing it. But she is prominent in my thinking and has kept me in line over the years. I am sure I owe my life to that part of me that plays by the CIA rules. That part of me I call Sarah Walker.

I look over at Chuck as he starts to stir. He is adorable and I just want to squeeze him and kiss him all over. The sound he makes as he wakes up is a sound I want to hear every morning for the rest of my life. I just don't know how to pull it off at the moment.

_Don't mess this up Walker. We've had a great time so far. We both know when we get back to LA that we have some things to discuss but until then let me have this time with Chuck._

_Are you forgetting something?_

_Forgetting something._

"Oh shit the dinner party!" I said waking Chuck up from the level of my voice.

"What is it Sarah?"

"Sandy," I said correcting him.

"Yeah, sorry…Sandy. Why are you yelling?"

"Chuck, I just remembered tonight is the night of Daddy's business party. We have work to do," I say to him and dread the argument that we will undoubtedly have about the nature of my assignment.

_Why can't he just understand that this is only a job? Does he really think I enjoyed coming on to all of those guys over the last eight months. _I ask him the same question after he wakes up.

"Sandy, it's not the coming onto that upsets me. It's the going off with that I can't deal with. Are you going to tell me that if it was me putting the moves on some woman that you would be OK with that?"

"Yes, because I know it would be for the job."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," he said sullenly.

Come on Chuck, don't be like that. We've had a wonderful time so far. Let's just get this job done tonight and put it behind us. We only have a short time before we go back to LA."

"What choice do I have? Of course we'll get the job done. But I don't have to be happy about the way we do it."

"Look, nothing is going to happen here tonight anyway. I can't be seen by anyone here coming on to one of my dads business partners. All that's going to happen tonight is that I will make an impression on him so he remembers me when I bump into him in New York."

Chuck was not to be consoled I see.

_You see Sandy, he is just a distraction. The best thing to do would be to break it off with him. _

_You've got to be kidding me Walker? Don't even go there. _

Silence.

_Ok, I'll admit it to you that I love him too. Happy…I said it. But what I want to do for him is keep him alive._

_That's where we differ, Walker. I just want him._

X-X

Chuck and I have argued about the dinner party all morning. He finally and reluctantly agreed to the plan. We've had lunch and I am lying on his lap on the large sofa in the music room. We call it the music room because there is a full size Steinway piano in the room. I have never seen anyone play it which amused Chuck to no end.

I have no idea how long I have been asleep when I hear someone join us in the room. I do not stir.

"Hey Chuck…she asleep?" I recognize Mindy's voice.

I can tell by the tone of her voice that she is feeling like the inquisitioner. I know that tone.

"Like a baby," he said. I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Mind if I ask you a question?" she said.

I would love to open my eyes just a little bit to see the look on her face but I don't dare. Mindy is a lot like me and she is very perceptive. I have had more than one discussion with her over the last few years trying to convince her that my cover life as an international banker is real. I know she suspects it isn't. I know too what she is going to ask Chuck.

"Promise me you'll tell me the truth?" she asks.

I feel Chuck's body stiffen. Suddenly, he is aware that this isn't a simple little conversation. _This will be interesting. How will he deal with this and maintain his integrity._ I can't wait for this to play out.

"If I can," he says.

"That's an unusual response," she says.

"What's you question?" he says simply.

"Is Sandy really an international banker?"

Silence.

"I can't really answer that, Mindy.

"You can't answer that because you don't know or you can't answer it because you can't say?"

"I can't answer your question." Chuck did not attempt to say more.

"Are you really in love with Sandy? Or is there something strange going on?"

"I love her with all my heart, Mindy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."

There is silence as I suspect Mindy silently scrutinizes Chuck.

"I believe you Chuck. You're different from that other guy she brought here. I can't remember his name."

"Bryce?"

"Yeah, that's it. Sandy tell you about him huh?"

"Actually, I knew Bryce before Sandy did."

"Really, how so?"

"We went to college together. We were roommates."

"I see. You know Chuck; we all know Sandy isn't a banker. She's not cut out for a job like that. She never comes around anymore and I know it hurts mom and dad. They don't say anything but I know it hurts them."

I mentally sigh; this is a part of my job I detest. Deceiving the people I love.

"Mindy, I promise that Sandy and I will be out here more often."

"Yeah, you mean now that she's finally put Ben in his place. That was just the best. It's all over the neighborhood. Everyone's talking about it. They used to talk about how Ben had some kind of spell on Sandy…not anymore. I guess you had something to do with that huh?"

"I don't know. I guess it would be nice to think so." Chuck said.

"Yeah, I remember when Sandy brought Bryce out here and the day before they were supposed to leave, she ran off with Ben for the night. That's when I knew that Bryce wasn't the right guy for Sandy. He never seemed hurt. He was plenty mad but he was never hurt like you or I would be if that happened to us…We never told her but none of us liked him. I guess you do since he was your college roommate?"

"Mindy, Bryce is dead. He died in a plane crash."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," she said without any emotion. "Mind if I ask you another question?"

"Would it matter?" I hear the smile again.

"Sure it would. Tell me you don't want me asking anymore questions and I'll stop."

"What's you question?"

"Are you an international banker too?"

She knows. Sandy you better get Chuck out of this or he'll spill the beans without even realizing it.

"No, Mindy, I'm not an international banker. I'm a computer guy, just like I said."

"You don't work with Sandy in any other capacity?"

"I can't answer that."

"Last question…Do you know someone named Sarah Walker?"

I stretch and pretend to wake up. "Hey what's going on you two?" I ask sitting up. I give Chuck a small kiss and take my own spot on the couch.

Mindy and I share a look.

"Are you coming to the dinner party tonight?" I ask Mindy.

"Are you kidding? They're the worst. I wouldn't be caught dead here tonight. Don't tell me you're planning on staying?"

"Chuck and I only have a day left. I want to spend as much time as possible here."

"Suit yourself but I can promise you that you'll be sorry."

"I sure hope you're wrong about that," Chuck said.

I knew better than to look at him. Mindy would see the look we would exchange. "Hey Chuck, wanna take a walk?" I say.

"Sure, anywhere in particular."

"Just out," I say standing and reach for his hand as he joins me. "See ya, Mindy."

"Bye Sis. Don't leave without seeing me, OK?"

"I'll see you later Mindy," say as Chuck and I leave the room. We go to the entryway and then open the door.

"How did she hear the name Sarah Walker," I say somewhat accusatorily when the front door closed.

"Don't look at me. I may have slipped and said 'Sarah' but I have never said your cover last name," Chuck said with conviction.

My shoulders slump as I know he's right. _How does she know that name?_

_You need to call Graham._

_Three's no way I'm telling Graham that my little sister knows my cover name. At least not until I know how she learned of it._

We walk out to the gardens because there is no one there and we can talk privately. When we are far enough away from the house that I feel comfortable I turn to Chuck.

"You are absolutely sure that you have not said my cover name?"

"No doubt in my mind, Sandy. I have never uttered the word 'Walker' on these grounds."

"Then I have a problem. I have got to know how she found out about my cover name," I say looking at Chuck.

I see that he knows what's coming. "Can you help me?"

"Sandy, she sees right through me. Unless you want me to ask her directly where she heard that name?"

"No Chuck, that's not what I want." I can't believe how naïve he is sometimes.

"Just go in the house find her and start a conversation. When you can, ask her about Sarah Walker. Tell me what she says. Make sure to look at her body language as well as her actual words. Can you do that for me Chuck?"

"Sandy, I'll do my best. I'm just not very good at this you know."

I have to smile at him. "I know, let's just see what happens." I watch him go into the house. I wait for the longest ten minutes of my life before I see the door open and Chuck come out. I can't tell by his expression how things went. I realize that I am holding my breath when he is only half way to me. Letting my breath out slowly, I wait until he finally walks up to me.

"Well…did you find anything out?" I asked searching his features for a clue.

"It depends on what you mean by anything."

"Chuck! What did she say?"

"She asked me once again if I worked with you in an official capacity. When I refused to answer the question she said to tell you to come in to talk with her. She said she would only talk to you."

"What does that mean?" I say out loud but not to Chuck. "What game is she playing? Come on." I start to walk towards the house. Chuck follows me and as we get to the front door he tells me she is in the music room.

"Thanks," I say as I watch him go into the formal living room.

. When I walk into the music room I see Mindy sitting in the chase lounge. She seems to be expecting me.

"Hey Sis, she says.

I notice now since I can look at her that she seems a little nervous. "Hey Mindy" I say sitting down across from her in a gold colored wingback chair.

"We need to talk," I say and assess her response. _She is definitely nervous_.

"Yeah we do…Sandy I'm taking a chance talking to you like this but I pretty sure I know what you really do, and it's definitely not banking."

"Go on," I say.

"At the end of the school year last year I was approached by this guy who wanted to talk with me about a possible career opportunity…you know working for my country."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Are you telling me that you've been recruited as a government agent?"

She stares at me as if she is trying to determine if she is making a huge mistake. "Yeah Sandy…that's what I'm telling you."

"Have you officially joined yet?"

"Yes."

My eyes tear up and I try to blink them away. "Do you have any idea what you're getting into," I say wiping away the tears that fall from my eyes. "What agency?" I ask.

"CIA."

"Well at least it's not the NSA," I say trying to laugh.

"You?" she asks.

I just shake my head up and down.

"And Sarah Walker?"

I don't answer directly. "Do you have a cover name yet?" I ask.

She shakes her head negatively.

"Mindy, do you know what kind of impact this is going to have on your life? Your lovelife?"

"It doesn't seem to be hurting yours."

"You've no idea."

"Is Chuck real or just a cover?"

"Oh, he's real. But that's the problem someone in my- our line of work…it's very complicated trying to maintain a relationship."

"He knows what you do, doesn't he?"

"Mindy, I can't discuss Chuck or his possible relationship to my employer."

"Oh, my God. He's your asset isn't he?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss-"

"Oh-my-God. Sandy, you've fallen in love with your asset?"

"Like I said Mindy, it's complicated. Chuck is more than an asset but I can't talk about it." I say wishing I could explain to her the situation.

"Sandy, we have got to talk about this later…So, why are you really here? Is this a mission?"

"You know I can't talk about that."

"Sandy, you've gotta let me help you. Where is the mission venue?"

Against my better judgment, and with Walker practically screaming at me to keep quiet, I tell her. "The business party tonight."

"You're kidding. Here at dad's business party?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna make the acquaintance of one of his partners so I can meet with him later.

"Let me help you, I so want my first mission to be an assist for my big sister."

_You will have to get the OK from Graham._

"I'll call my supervisor. If I get clearance, OK."

Mindy gave me her best smile which looks a lot like mine. "Thanks Sis, this means a lot to me."

"We got to get clearance first," I say as I try to deal with the ambivalence I'm feeling. Ambivalence because I am excited to be working with my baby sister, and yet the knowledge of what she will be asked to do for her country when her training is complete makes me sad. The isolation, the sense of being disconnected to everyone you are sworn to protect. It's hard.

"I'll make the call but if the answer's no, you can't stay here for the party. You will have to do whatever it is you had planned."

"I understand. Just let me know as soon as you can."

"I will," I say as I get up to leave. Half way across the room I stop and turn around to look at my sister. I see she has stood up as well. She looks hopeful. I walk with long strides back to her and wrap my arms around her hard.

"I hope you are happy with this decision five years from now." I pull away from her but do not let go of her shoulders. "I am so proud of you," I say and turn to leave before we both start crying.

X-X

Chuck, Mindy and I are in my bedroom going over the plan for tonight. "It doesn't get much simpler than this. I just make sure that Jack Harding notices me by spilling my drink on him and apologize profusely for the accident. Then in a couple of weeks Casey and I will go to New York so I can get close enough to him to learn where he keeps his documents for the Hathaway job. I'll be at his house for our first night together and as we get into bed I will drug him and take pictures of the business plans." I look from Chuck to Mindy for confirmation of the plan.

"What do you want me to do," Mindy says looking very excited.

"You and Chuck keep any other guest from joining us. Especially his administrative assistant, Celia Evans. She is rumored to be much more than his AA if you know what I mean."

I watch both of my teammates acknowledge they are ready.

"Chuck are you OK?" Mindy says.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Chuck, nothings going to happen," I said my hands on my hips.

"Today, yeah. But what happens when you go to New York?"

"Chuck, we've been over this so many times. I will get the information with the least amount of contact necessary." I say my voice rising.

"Somehow that's not very comforting to me. What if the least amount of contact is a lot of contact?"

I don't have a good answer for that and I feel Mindy's eyes boring into me from my peripheral vision.

"Chuck, can we-" I am interrupted by my phone ringing and I am glad. Looking at the caller ID I see it is Graham.

'Yes sir." As I listen to the message he gives me, I feel the blood drain from my head. "Sir, I don't think that's a good idea sir. He is totally untested in this kind of situation. I know sir. Yes sir, I'll tell him. Goodbye sir."

"What, what's going on?" Chuck asks.

I look at the members of my team. I realize that I am feeling emotions that are foreign to me. "There's been a change of plans. Last minute Intel has discovered that Jack Harding is gay."

"Don't look at me…this is way beyond my pay grade," Chuck says.

I would have laughed but my world is spinning. "It seems that Harding's young and beautiful assistant is a gamer. Headquarters believes from her profile that you have an excellent opportunity to get close to her."

"What! They want me to seduce her?"

"That's right. The plan is exactly the same but instead of me seducing Harding in New York it will be you seducing Celia Evans," I say still not believing what had just happened.

Mindy looks at her watch and tells us it's time to go.

_Sandy, get a grip. This is nothing you haven't done a hundred times. Quit thinking about yourself and give Chuck the advice he needs to be successful._

_I don't want him to be successful._

_Whatever happened to whatever it takes to get the job done?_

_Yeah, well it's not your fiancé that's getting lucky with the mark._

_Sure it is…just as much as he's your fiancé. I just know where my priorities lie._

_I know where my priorities lie and if that bitch as much as smiles at him I'm gonna-._

_Walden…get your head in the game or your man will most likely fail tonight._

_She's right Sandy. Chuck will need your help with this. _I put my arm through his as we walk down the stairs.

"Don't worry, I say in his ear. I walk you through this. Ok?"

I see a look of eternal gratitude on his face as we join the party.

When this party is over, Chuck and I are going to have a long talk about his mission to New York. I wonder briefly as I greet the first of the party guests I meet, is this the way Chuck's felt for the last eight months. I can't believe I've put him through this.

I great the next guest with tears in my eyes.


	9. Chapter 8

Only Two Options

Only Two Options

Chapter Eight

Chuck and I wait in silence for Mindy to come back and tell us goodbye. She went to check on her flight to DC.

Chuck and I have been fighting ever since last night's business party. I thought Chuck came on a little too strong with Celia and told him so in no uncertain terms.

It was humiliating to have him hit on his mark right there in my parent's house. Chuck said that he did not hit on her and just talked about gaming. I could have died when she laid her hand on his arm as they shared a laugh.

Much to my surprise Mindy seemed to side with Chuck. I cannot believe my own sister would take his side in this.

"Sarah, I can't-"

"How many times do I have to tell you…my name is Sandy," I say way too loud for a deep cover agent sitting in an airport terminal. I am almost screaming.

He shuts up. I know he's mad now. _Great Walden, you can't handle him making eyes at a girl for no more than five minutes while you've actually been in another man's bed within the last three months._

_Shutup. I don't need you to tell me about the inequity of our situation. What gets me is how much he was enjoying it._

"Chuck I just want you to know that for the last eight months anytime I've had to get close to someone, I never enjoyed it. It's just my job."

"I may not be as 'experienced' as you Sandy, but I can say the exact same thing. I did not enjoy lying to that girl last night. And I certainly don't enjoy thinking about meeting her in New York in a week to lie to her some more."

He looked away from. I see he is genuinely mad at me. I think for the first time in our relationship, real or cover, he's really upset with me. Suddenly, I don't want him mad at me. I want him to console me and tell me everything's going to be alright.

I do something that I never did with Bryce, not even after sleeping with Ben. I do something that's been hard for me to do my whole life… I apologize. "Chuck, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me. I saw you standing, talking and laughing with that girl and I think I went nuts for a while."

"Wow, now I know for sure that she's in love with you Chuck," Mindy said walking up to us and catching my apology. "You know how many fingers I would need to count the number of times that Sandy apologized the whole time she was growing up…none, because she never said 'I'm sorry" one time," she said to me with a huge grin really rubbing it in.

I'm thankful for the interruption because I know the conversation between Chuck and I would have been awkward for me at best.

He puts his arm around me and I feel better immediately. "How long until your flight takes off," I say to my sister.

"I've got to get going. Their going to start boarding in fifteen minutes," Mindy says looking from me to Chuck.

Chuck gets up and hugs my baby sister. "I'm really glad I finally got to meet you," he tells her.

"When you guy's decide on a date, let me know. I won't miss that wedding for anything," Minding says her mouth turned up on the ends.

"You'll be one of the first to know," I say a little embarrassed. I feel Chuck's arm slide around my waist and I return the gesture.

Mindy gives me a hug and then turns to go. "Wait, I walk you to the gate," I say turning to Chuck. "I'll be right back."

"Take your time," he says. "We have plenty of time."

Mindy and I walk towards the gate, my arm around her shoulder. Mindy is just barely a smaller version of me. She's about an inch shorter and about ten pounds lighter. Beyond that, we could pass for twin sisters now that she's older.

"Sis, I don't know how you intend to make it work with Chuck, him being an asset and all but I know if anyone can, it's you. By the way, I don't think I've told you. I really like him. If you ever decide to dump him let me know…I like older guys."

I squeeze my arm tighter around her shoulder.

"OK, I give already. Just kidding," she says smiling at our camaraderie.

"Honestly Mindy, It won't be easy. I can't tell you any details but this is more complicated than even you know. If Chuck and I ever do make it, we're going to have to get lucky. I just remember that he said once that he would try even if we only had one half of one percent chance of making it. I knew when he said that that I had to go for it…I just hope it all works out." I look my sister in the eye and I know she knows that I am scared. Scared for a future that I dearly want to have with the man I love. But I am afraid that when everything is said and done…it's just not going to happen.

"Mindy, I've never wanted anything so bad in my entire life. And I'm afraid that it's just too good to be true. Hell, I'm afraid that some other woman will steal him out from under me. That's way I went ballistic last night. Because I'm scarred. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense Sandy. You've always had this weird relationship with Ben. Now that you finally have put that to bed you can finally allow yourself to love. Really love. No wonder you're a little mixed up inside right now. And one more thing, I can tell you with complete confidence that you will never have to worry about another girl stealing Chuck from you. All you have to do Sandy is just look at the way he looks at you. He worships you. I only hope I can find someone like that myself."

"You picked the wrong profession for that little sis," I say with a tinge of sadness in my voice.

"Well look at you," Mindy said. "You seem to be doing OK."

"For the moment. We have some tall mountains to climb before we can say we made it."

We hug for the last time. I watch her board the plane with a huge sense of bittersweet feelings for my sister. I remember when I first joined, the pride I felt, the excitement to learn all the new and thrilling things we learned. But…she will be lonely, it's just a natural part of the job. I wish her the best as I turn to make my way back to my fiancé.

I stop dead in my tracks about thirty yards away from Chuck when I notice he is talking to someone. In the back of my mind I know who it is and my blood starts to boil.

Each step brings me closer to him and I realize that Celia somehow found him in the airport and is talking with my Chuck.

I sit across from him and shoot daggers at them both. Neither seems to notice my mental assassination attempts. I calm myself down so I can hear what they are saying.

"No really, Chuck. If you're going to be in New York next week please don't get a hotel. You can stay at my place. I've got an extra bedroom."

If I didn't know Chuck so well I would never know he was nervous. He is doing a really good job I think to myself. But I'm still going to kill him when she leaves.

"You know Sarah, you're losing your touch," the man sitting next to me says.

I don't recognize him but I recognize that voice. "Bryce…what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you."

I glance over at Chuck and see that he is still occupied with Celia. "What do you want?" I ask a little aggravated.

"I need to talk with you Sarah."

"It's Sandy."

"I prefer Sarah and there's no one to hear us."

"Bryce…Sandy."

He let out a huge sigh. "Sandy, I got it."

"Got what Bryce…you came all this way to say you got it."

"Remember Cabo? Remember the mission we dreamed of?"

As hard as I try, I can not keep the wave of excitement from washing over my body. "Graham gave it to YOU?"

"That's right. I'm off of Fulcrum for good. Sandy this is the mission we have dreamed of." He looked at me seriously. I need a partner. Someone I can trust. Someone I work well with. He drilled into my eyes even harder. Come with me. Let's really make a difference."

I was reeling. The mission rarely spoke of publicly was the Holy Grail. It was the deep cover mission every agent in every agency wanted and hoped that one day it would become a reality. And Bryce got it. And I can have it too.

_You can't say no to this Sandy. It is too important._

_Shutup Walker, I need to think. _And I did think. I thought of all of the inequality in the world. I thought of the injustice that would be eliminated with the removing of just one regime. The domino effect would kick in and within two years the world as we know it would be dramatically different. Better. Would that eliminate all evil? No, of course not but it might start the process. At least that's the hypothesis when this mission was ever seriously discussed.

I know I grew up privileged and this would be my chance to make amends for all of the mean, cruel things I did as a kid.

I look at Chuck. _He'll eventually get over you Sandy. He may even be happier with someone else than he is with you._

Tears form in my eyes as I look at him with Celia. I see him smiling at her like he does with me and suddenly I can see it. He will get over me, eventually.

The call of this assignment is like the song of the sirens and I unlike Odysseus… I may not be able to escape their enticing and hypnotic call.

_Sandy, you've dreamed of this assignment. Don't throw it all away over some sentimental notion of love. _

I know that Walker loves Chuck too. But she's different. She will suffer in silence. And throughout the years she'll wear the pain of losing Chuck like some badge of honor on her chest, knowing she gave up the perfect love for her duty.

I can't believe I am actually considering leaving with Bryce. And then I see Celia leaving. Chuck gets up to come to me.

"Whew," he said wiping at his brow. "That was close. I had no idea she would be here," he said standing in front of me.

I notice Bryce move away from me ever so subtly.

"Hey, I'm kind of hungry. Want to get a bite to eat before we board?" Chuck said looking at me.

_That's perfect Sandy. Tell him to go ahead without you. We can go with Bryce. It will be a clean break. That's the best way._

I'm not very hungry Chuck. Why don't you go on without me?" I almost choke on my next words. "I'll see you when you get back." _You're really going to do this?_

"Oh no you don't, come on," he said holding his hands out to me. If I'm cooking your breakfast every morning from now on you can at least keep me company while I eat.

I felt like I was at the bottom of the sea, looking up at Chuck's arms as they reach down through water. I only had a little air left but his arm just kept coming down towards me. Before I knew it, I was holding his hand as he pulled me up. I actually took in a huge breath of air as I stood up.

"Come on, Sandy. Let's grab a bite and then you can chew me out on the way home about Celia."

We walked toward the airport restaurant maybe ten steps. He had his arm around me when all of a sudden he stopped and turned me to face him.

"Are you all right," he asked.

I looked up into his brown eyes. I almost feinted as I thought about how close I came to leaving him. In an instant I was energized. I turned to look for Bryce. He was gone.

"Bryce," I shouted. "I know you can hear me. The answer is no. Don't ask me again. I am not interested." I looked around the airport but did not see any sign of my ex-partner. I ignored everyone around me as they all stared at Chuck and me.

I turned to look at Chuck who was scanning the airport as well, his brow drawn down. He realized that Bryce had been here. He knew as well that he would not approve of whatever plan Bryce had in mind.

"Take me home," I said.

After Chuck grabbed a quick bite to eat we finally boarded our plane. I had every intention before Bryce showed up to let Chuck have it when we go on board the plane. Celia did not seem important now.

It was a long flight. I spent the entire time holding on to Chuck. Sometimes I cried and he tried to console me. I was inconsolable.

When we get home I am going to tell Chuck what happened. I am going to tell him how close I was to leaving. Then I am going to beg him to forgive me. And then we are going to figure out a way to be together.


	10. Chapter 9

Only Two Options

Chapter Nine

I wake up and momentarily I don't know where I am. Then I feel as though an old friend just died as I remember what happened at the airport with Bryce. I realize that I am in Chuck's bedroom and I remember not wanting to be alone last night. I asked if I could stay with him. I don't know if he wanted me to or not and that hurt me as well.

I think back to yesterday, Chuck was silent on the plane while I cried. He held me trying to comfort me when it was me that betrayed him. Well, maybe I didn't betray him but I sure thought about it.

I look over for him and see that he's gone. I listen and don't hear him either. Just when I start to get up, the door opens and in he comes with a breakfast try.

"I was wondering if you'd be up or not," he said with a smile on his face.

"You made me breakfast?"

"A promise is a promise," he said and then quickly looked at me. "I didn't mean anything by that Sarah. I just mean that we made a deal and I intend to keep my part of the bargain."

"Yeah but we don't know who's won yet," I said smiling at him so he knows I'm Ok.

"Doesn't matter, If you win, I make breakfast for you for a year. If I win, I make breakfast for you for the rest of our lives. The way I look at it. I owe you a breakfast today."

He sits the tray down over my lap and I grab his shirt and pull him to me kissing him as though it were our last kiss. I've never loved him more than I do this second. When I release him he stands and looks at me and then at the food he's prepared.

"You better dig in, I don't want your eggs to get cold," he said.

"The food can wait. What can't wait is my heart. I need to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for even considering Bryce's offer. You need to know that I would have never gone through with it. It may have taken me five minutes of five hours…but I know now that I could never leave you," I say while my eyes beseech him to believe me.

"Sarah, there's nothing to forgive. Let's just forget about it. You're here and that's all that matters."

"No Chuck, that's not all that matters. You would never have done that to me. There's nothing in this world that would entice you away from me. I know that. I want you to know that too…about me. I want to be able to prove that I'm that way with you. If you give me another chance and with time I promise that I will prove it." By now the tears have begun their journey down my cheek. I ignore them as I implore Chuck to say that he will give me another chance to prove to him that nothing is more important to me than him.

"Sarah, let's just start today as though nothing in our past has ever happened. A new day and a clean slate, what do you say?"

I just smile through the tears and nod my head fearing my voice will fail if I try to speak.

"You know what I want to do today? I say thinking of something I can do for him. "I want to look for an apartment."

"That's a great idea. How are we going to afford it?"

"The CIA will help," I say. "It's part of our cover." I see his face seems a little disappointed when I mention the CIA involvement. "What?" I say.

"Nothing."

"Come on. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just that I wish we could do this without the CIA."

I look at my food. Sort of playing with the eggs while I think, I take my first bite. "You know Chuck, for now, we need the CIA. That may not always be the case. But let's take advantage of their generosity while we can."

"No, I know. I'm just saying…that some day when it's just you and me without the CIA, then I going to know for sure that you're here because of me. Until then, as much as I hate it, I will always have that nagging doubt."

I see he is trying to be completely honest with me. I see that he wants us to reach a new level of communication. With everything that I have inside me, I don't allow myself to be hurt by his statement. Instead, I accept it for what it is. The absolute truth. With everything that I've done since I've known Chuck including yesterday, he has no reason to trust me with every inch of his soul…yet he does. Still he complains about that nagging little voice that whispers in his ear that I'm here only because it's my job.

I grab his hand and pull him down on the bed. Looking deeply into his eyes, I say. "Chuck, I promise you this. I promise that I will never leave you. I will never take another assignment. I will never seduce another man and I will never, ever take your love for granted." I watch his smile grow until he is grinning from ear to ear.

"Sarah, I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Now eat your breakfast, we've got a big day today. I'll contact a real estate agent. We've got some apartments to look at," he says getting up from the bed and going back to the living area.

X-X

"I think you'll like this one quite a bit Miss Walker," Grace Deming said as she opened the door to a two bedroom apartment only ten blocks from Ellie's.

"This is nice Sarah. Look at that kitchen…I'll bet we could cook up a storm in there."

I give him the look. I know he's giving me the business about my cooking ability…or lack thereof. "I'm not the one who will be getting up at 6:00AM every morning," I say to him.

He gave me a quick smile that said _touché_.

We go back to the bedrooms. Their very large. "Sarah, I can put all my gear in here," he said enthusiastically.

"Chuck, we need to talk about that," I say not realizing we have come to a major crossroads in our real lives as a couple living together.

"What do you mean?" he says.

"I just think that all of the computer stuff would be better in the second bedroom."

"Why would I want to go to another room when I'm on the computer," he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Well it's just that I don't want our bedroom junked up with all of your computer stuff."

"Junked up?"

"I don't mean junk. It's just that it doesn't look that neat. I want our new apartment to look nice," I say trying to explain what I mean. I move to stand right in front of him with my hands on his chest. "I don't mean to say your stuff is junk sweetie."

"OK," he says calming down. "Let's talk about this when we get back to my place."

We look at four apartments all in all and we agree that we liked the second one best. That's the one that is closest to Ellie's place.

We paid the two months up front along with a security deposit and had availability the next day. We were excited. We rushed to Ellie's apartment hoping that she was there. Disappointment sat in as we saw their parking spaces were empty. Chuck pulled out his phone and dialed his sister.

"Hey Ellie, you at work? That's what I thought. Are you home tomorrow evening? Good, Sarah and I have some big news. No, not that big." He turns to me. "She wants us to do the double wedding," he said shaking his head.

I stop listening to their conversation. _That is something I could do that would prove how much I love him…marry him. Marry him alongside his sister._ There's only one problem with that idea. I will be reassigned and Chuck will be living in a bunker. _But nonetheless…_

"OK Ellie, We'll see you tomorrow night," he said hanging up the phone.

We sat in the Nerd Herder and looked at each other. I see the love in his eyes. I grab his hand. "What do you want to do now?" I ask.

"We've gotta start packing, one of us has got to get our stuff together. You wanna go first?"

"Oh yeah, I want to go first. There's no way I'm going have you lay claim to the apartment with your stuff first," I say laughing. "Take me home. No…take me to the hotel so I get moved onto our home." We smile and kiss briefly before he roars away in the Nerd Mobile. All the way to my hotel we laugh, the wind blows my hair around my face with the windows down and the radio blaring some song I don't even know.

I couldn't help but to think…life is good.

X-X

My clothes are packed along with most of my essentials like makeup and my CIA gear. Chuck and I are sitting on the little sofa watching TV. We ordered pizza, no olives, and we are just enjoying being together.

"You know what we need to get tomorrow is a washer and dryer. I am so going to love doing my laundry without someone watching me." I say.

"Sarah, how are we going to afford a new washer and dryer?"

I look at him and realize that although we love each other, he practically knows nothing about my private life here in LA. "Chuck, I make a pretty good living working for the government. While I'm on assignment, my pay just goes into my bank account. Everything here is on an expense account."

"So you have the money to just go out and buy a washer and dryer?"

"And anything else we need." I see the look on his face. He's having a hard time thinking of himself as the under achiever in our relationship. I change the subject to something that has been bothering me since I first thought about it.

"Chuck, you know one day I want to get married." I look at his face to ascertain his reception to my question. So far so good. "We've never talked about some things that most couples in our situation would have talked about a long time ago." I take a deep breath. "How do you feel about children?" I ask.

His head snaps around to look at me. The intensity of his expression, I've never seen before.

"You mean do I want kids after we're married?" he asks.

"Yeah, and do you want a lot of kids or just one. I'm just wondering what you think about the whole subject."

"Sarah, I love kids. I've never thought about having any of my own. I have thought about Ellie having kids so I can be the great uncle who plays with them every time he comes over."

I see that he will make a great dad. I've thought about having a family. Not that often but I lot more since I met Chuck.

"I think I would like to have a family too. I don't know how many but I know one day I want us to have a family." The look in his eyes, if I could capture that and save it to look at when I'm feeling down…I don't think I would ever be unhappy again.

"There's one problem with that, though," I say waiting for him to lock eyes with me before continuing. "I'll need to have surgery before I can have children. You know to undo what was done when I joined the agency."

"What kind of surgery did you have?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"Nothing serious Chuck. I just can't get pregnant right now. You know, it's a job requirement."

"If you say so. Are you sure it's reversible?"

"Completely, it's probably done on an outpatient basis now."

I watch as he looks at his hands in his lap. I know it's his turn to ask a serious question.

"Sarah…are you religious in any way?" he said staring at me intently.

"I don't go to church if that's what you mean but I do believe that there is something out there. Something in charge, in some kind of way. You know what I mean?" I look at him hoping that he treats me gently as I open myself up to him.

"I know exactly what you mean, Sarah. I feel the same way. Sometimes I just know that there's something or someone or you know something watching out for us, making sure that everything works out ok." We looked at each other tenderly. In some ways the sharing of our souls in this manner is more intimate than making love.

"Do you want a church wedding?" he asked simply.

"Frankly Chuck, I don't care what kind of wedding we have as long as I'm Sandy Bartowski when it's over with."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to get used to that. Sandy Bartowski, I like the ring of that," he said with a smile. I guess your cove name will continue to be Sarah Walker, right?"

"Yeah, but we both know who I really am," I say hoping he is not too disappointed that I will keep my cover name.

"Here's a question for you," I say. "Do you always want to stay here in LA? What if a great job came along… say in Oakland or Cleveland? Are you open to moving?"

"I've never thought about leaving Ellie. But I can tell you this…if you have to leave I'm going with you," he said and reached down to kiss me. I grab the back of his neck and kiss him harder than he originally intended. After about five seconds, I feel him respond to me. "Hang on tiger," I say. "Plenty of time for that later." He gives me another peck on the lips before lifting himself off of me.

"Sarah, speaking of job opportunities, what are we going to do with you're job. How are we going to deal with the CIA and us?"

"Not sure yet. Give me a little more time to think about it, OK?"

"I've got one for you…what about going back to school? All you need is one semester. Ever think about transferring your credits here and finishing at night?"

"Yeah, I've thought about it, but not seriously. It's time to think about a lot of things more seriously now," he said.

The evening drew to a close and we started to get tired. We decided to stay here for the night and I got up to get ready for bed. As I was standing in front of the mirror over the sink, I felt that awful feeling that all women feel and knew that it was time for my period. I go to get a tampon and see that I am out. Oh well, I think. It's time for Chuck to cross one more hurdle of being in a close relationship with a woman.

"Chuck, could you come here," I yell through the bathroom door. When I hear him on the other side I open it just a hair. "Could you do something for me?" I ask.

"Anything, you know that," he said.

"Good, would you go to the grocery store and get me a box of tampons?"

Oh, if I had a camera. If I could have captured the look on that man's face. Welcome to the club, Chuck, I think.

I laugh as I think of him in the grocery store shopping for feminine products.


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the delay. My wife and I were on vacation for a few days.

Only Two Options

Chapter Ten

I'm sitting at our new kitchen table watching my cover/real fiancé cook breakfast for me. He's really taking this bet thing serious, I think.

"What's on the menu this morning?" I ask.

Belgian Waffles today. You got your choice of strawberries or blueberries," he said without looking up.

"When did you get all this food?" I asked incredulously.

"Last night before I picked you up. I knew I had to have something for breakfast this morning…strawberries or blueberries?"

"Both," I say and watch his smile grow to cover his face.

I start to feel a little sorry for him. "Chuck, you know I don't really expect you to fix my breakfast every morning. That would be asking too much. Don't you think?"

"Only if I didn't want too," he said.

I look at him and think that of all the men I've come into contact with, that Chuck Bartowski is the most amazing man I've ever met. No, he can't shoot a gun, he can't fight off three ninja attackers, and he can't even pick the lock on our new apartment door. But what he can do is understand what's important to him and live his life around those concepts. If Chuck Bartowski believes that he should make breakfast for me for the next year I have no doubt in my mind that he will certainly do it.

"Here you go," he said laying a large plate in front of me.

"This looks fabulous, where did you learn to make Belgian Waffles?" I asked scooping up some of the whipped cream with my finger and tasting it.

"I don't know. Ellie must have shown me how at some point," he said.

"Sarah, what's your favorite breakfast anyway? Better yet, what's your favorite food?"

"OK, I'll start with breakfast. Pancakes have always been my favorite but I have to say that Belgian Waffles are climbing up the list."

"What about your favorite food?"

I think but can't come up with anything that is my absolute favorite. "Why do want to know what my favorite food is anyway. I'm not going to let you fix my supper too, you know."

"That's not it Sarah. I just want to know everything about you. I've gone for so long without knowing anything at all. Now, I want to know everything. Your favorite food, your favorite TV show and movie. Favorite book and author. What's your favorite time of the day?" He stops and looks at me for second.

"What's your favorite color? I mean I don't even know your favorite color. If we're supposed to be getting married one day, don't you think I should know your favorite color?"

I look into his eyes and see the earnest desire he has to know everything there is to know about me. Not to possess me but so that he can please me. As I look into his eyes, I think to myself that brown may just be my new favorite color.

"It depends Chuck. My favorite color for a car or a dress is black. But my favorite clothes to wear are jeans and a T shirt." I look at him and see him taking in everything I say.

"Chuck, relax. We've got time. We're going to figure out a way to make this work. You will learn everything you ever wanted to know about me."

This talk makes me a little anxious. I don't know why but I change the subject. "You know what else we need besides the washer and dryer?" I say.

"What's that?" he says sitting down to join me at the table.

Before answering him I think how natural it seems waking up and sitting across the table from Chuck. Even when we talk about washers and dryers for some reason it seems important to me.

"We need to buy some dishes, and some real forks and spoons, these paper plates and plastic forks aren't going to cut it," I say.

"I'll make a list. Ah," he says looking around the apartment. First thing on the list is a pen and paper," he says grinning at me.

"Never mind that Chuck, I've got a good idea what we're going to need…at least to start off with."

"Yeah, I forget this is old hat to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, I just thought you've probably set up an apartment before. You know. I mean with Bryce."

"Bryce and I never shared an apartment. He always had his and I always had mine. In fact this will be the first apartment that I've shared with anyone…not for cover I mean."

"Technically Sarah, this is for cover."

I know what he means but I just can't leave it like that.

"It may have started out that way Chuck but in my heart it is no longer for cover. This is real for me. I hope you see it the same way I do." I look into his eyes hoping to get a glimpse of confirmation that he agrees with me one hundred percent.

I get that and more.

"Sarah, this is real for me too. You know sometimes I wish the CIA wasn't involved at all but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. That's just me wanting to get our relationship to a normal level."

"Chuck that may never happen. I'm a deep cover operative for the CIA and you have a huge computer program inside your brain. Under the circumstances, I think wanting a normal life may be asking for too much." I hope I'm wrong but sometimes the white picket fence seems too far out of reach for me.

"Sarah, as long as I know that I have you by my side…that's all that matters. I think I can face anything if I know you love me."

I reach over the table and grab his hand. "I love you with all my heart Chuck Bartowski…more than I ever thought I had the capacity to love." I see him look at my engagement ring. He takes his thumb and rubs it over the top of the ring.

"You know Sarah; sometimes I wonder why you love me. I mean what is it about me that you see that's so…I don't know, worthy of your love?"

I squeeze his hand a little harder. "That's so like you. You don't have a clue what makes you so special. That's part of the reason you are so special Chuck. You're honest and open. You're good looking and you make me laugh. Whether you know it or not, laughing is not something I've done much of in the past." I look up from the ring to capture his eyes. "You've made me a different person. A better person. And you've done it without trying to. Just me being around you has made me a better person. And it's not just me Chuck; I know if Casey was honest, he would say the same thing too." As I watch Chuck's eyes, I see them tear up just a hint. "I've never met anyone like you before and I'm so glad I was sent out here for this assignment."

He spends more time looking at and rubbing my engagement ring. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. But he chose to keep his thoughts to himself.

"What I worry about is why you love me?" I say afraid to meet his gaze.

"You're kidding right?"

I just look at him.

"Sarah, besides your beauty on the outside you are the most beautiful person I've ever met on the inside as well. That's why I love you."

"How can you mean that Chuck? You know what I do for a living. You know something of what I've done in the past."

"Sarah, that doesn't change who you are, you have a tough job to do and you do it well. But with the things that really matter, your beauty shines through."

My heart actually flutters as he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am on the inside. No one has ever told me that before. I couldn't count how many times or how many men have told me I'm beautiful but only Chuck Bartowski has said that I'm beautiful on the inside.

"Chuck, promise me something?" I ask.

"Oh no you don't, the last time I promised you something without hearing what it was first I ended up searching the aisles of Kroger looking for tampons."

I laugh briefly but then turn very serious. "Promise me you will never stop loving me? I don't think I could deal with that."

Putting both of his hands on mine, he looks me in the eye. "Sarah, I promise you with all my heart and soul that I will love you to the day I die…besides, I can't afford to buy another girl a real engagement ring."

I get up and walk to him. I stand there looking down at him until he stands as well. I grab him and hang on for dear life. The thought of losing Chuck is worse than my worst nightmares and they are sometimes very bad.

I know he feels me shaking as I hold him tight.

"Hey, it's OK," he says. "Sarah, I promise you nothing will ever come between us again. You have my word on that."

That makes me feel better. I know that Chuck's word means a lot. He pushes me away from him.

"Come on, we've gotta washing machine to buy," he says pulling me towards the bathroom.

X-X

We've bought our first appliance together. I am very excited about being able to do my laundry alone in my own apartment. We had them delivered and installed. By tomorrow evening I will be doing my own laundry.

We have also bought dinnerware and dish towels and rugs for the bathroom. So all in all, it was a very fruitful day.

We are in the mall next to the Buy More and are doing a little window shopping. The next store we come to is the bridal shop. I look in just a bit pensive and he sees my expression.

"Come on, let's see what's in here?" he says.

Somewhat shocked and more than a little excited, I follow him in. We see beautiful gowns of all styles and sizes. It isn't even thirty seconds before an older lady comes to wait on us.

"Can I help you," she says with a smile on her face.

"Oh no we're just looking thanks," I say as I glance at my fiancé. Being in this bridal shop just makes everything so clear. Even though the ring is CIA financed and the actual engagement itself is CIA approved. None of that makes any difference because Chuck and I are here because we want to be here. Nothing else matters but that.

"Nonsense," Chuck says. "You have to try on a couple of these dresses. I want to see what you look like."

I have to admit that I am excited to try on a few myself and just see what styles I like the best and what looks good on me. I've never had a wedding dress on before… real or cover.

X-X

One hour and forty minutes later and five dresses, we leave the bridal shop with huge smiles on our faces. Not that Chuck was any help whatsoever in deciding what style of dress I should wear. With each new dress that I wore he would say, "Now that's my favorite dress." I'm sure I could have put the first dress on again and he would say that it was his favorite.

I did manage to see a dress that I liked very much. It was floor length, very tight at the waist with my shoulders bare. I think it may have been Chuck's favorite but it was hard to say for sure. At least I know that I won't have to worry about pleasing him when it comes to picking out my wedding dress.

"So what do you wanna do now?" I say.

"Let's go over to the park on North Zoo Dr."

"OK."

We get back to the car and drive for about twenty minutes until we get to the park.

Five minutes later we are walking through the park hand in hand. Off in the distance I see what looks like a wedding party having pictures taken. Chuck and I continue to walk through the park enjoying each others company. We walk like this for a few more minutes when suddenly Chuck stops, grabs my shoulders and pulls me to him. We kiss slowly but passionately. I wrap my arms around him as I sink into the emotion of the kiss. I feel him respond to me in the same way. Slowly, reluctantly we part. We smile at each other as we start to walk again.

We had not taken more than five steps when the photographer from the wedding shoot ran up to us.

"Excuse me, but would you mind doing that again?" he asked excitedly.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"The kiss. Could you kiss like that again? I want to capture it if I can. Do you mind?"

Chuck and I look at each other with huge grins on our face. "Sure," we say in unison.

"Wait, let me get prepared," he says working with his camera. "OK, whenever you're ready."

We start of slowly, tenderly. My hand is in his hair. I feel his left hand on my waist. Almost simultaneously, we forget about the photographer as passion overtook us.

Again, I wrap my arms around him and pull him toward me. His arms are around my shoulders and he is rubbing me as he pulls me tight. At last we need to breath and come up for air. Only then did we hear the click click click of his camera with the auto rewinder.

"That's it. That's what I've been looking for. Do you mind if I use these pictures. I want to create an advertisement for a local wedding shop. I can't afford to pay you anything," he said.

"Sure, go ahead," Chuck says glancing at me for confirmation.

I don't see why our picture on some local wedding shop advertisement will hurt anything.

We say goodbye and continue to walk through the park. After spending a couple of hours in the park we decide to go back to our new apartment.

We spend a nice relaxing, romantic evening together and go to bed early.

X-X

I wake up to the sound of my fiancé in the kitchen and my phone ringing. Looking at it, I see Director Graham is calling.

"Hello Sir, agent Walker here."

I listen to a torrent of angry reprimands and when I hang up the phone I jump out of bed and into the kitchen.

"Chuck, where's your laptop?"

"Over there on the coffee table," he says. "What's up?"

"Hang on." I fire up the machine and wait for the wireless to connect. When it does I type in the address that my angry supervisor just yelled to me. I wait for just a brief instant and then I see an internet advertisement clearly showing Chuck and me in a very passionate kiss. The photographer certainly knew his craft because I was in a wedding gown and Chuck was in a tuxedo but it was obviously the kiss we performed for the photographer in the park yesterday.

"How could he finish this so quickly?" Chuck asked.

Without turning to look at him I say, "We've got bigger problems to worry about. Director Graham is upset at us. I know he suspects that I am in love with you. Whatever plan we have to stay together, we better start implementing it now. Because If I'm right, Casey will be knocking on our door in no time."

I hadn't taken another breath when the knock on the door came.


	12. Chapter 11

Only Two Options

Only Two Options

Chapter Eleven

I didn't even have the door open before Casey started in on us, mainly on me.

"How could you be so stupid? Walker, you know you can't have your picture taken by anybody. That's CIA spy 101. I'll ask again, what were you thinking?"

He's right. What in the world was I thinking? Of course I know not to have my picture taken and yet I never even thought about it.

_Serves you right…I've told you before you'd be dead without me. _

That's when it hit me. I've not heard a peep from my CIA conscious. It was that part of me that always paid attention to the rules that would have said no in no uncertain terms to the photographer.

"Casey, I can explain," I say but then realize that I can't even come close to explaining why I let that picture be taken.

"You better figure out an explanation before we get to the Buy More because your boss and mine wants to see us ASAP, Chuck too."

"Hold on, Casey," Chuck said not hiding the irritation in his voice. "We didn't do anything wrong. What's the problem with having a photograph of us taken in the park anyway?"

I look at Chuck and smile. He really has no idea why that's a problem. "Chuck, I've got enemies…lots of them. If they see this picture they can potentially find me. Also with Fulcrum still a threat it's just not a good idea being so overt."

"Ah, I see. You covert agents just aren't comfortable out in the open like that," he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"It's not that at all, Chuck. It really is the safest way." I see from his expression that I'm getting nowhere with him and shutup.

_Let's get out of here and get this over with. The sooner we eat some crow and promise not to do anything like that again the sooner we can put this embarrassment behind us._

I agree with her. In an odd way it feels good to have her back.

Fifteen minutes later we're in the Buy More video room standing at attention while I'm getting my ass handed to me on a platter. I feel a bead of sweat start at the base of my neck and slowly travel down my spine. Then I realize that I'm not even listening to my supervisors.

"If it weren't for the fact that Major Casey has vouched for you we would've yanked you out of there so fast you wouldn't even remember the trip," General Beckman said.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself Agent Walker?" Director Graham chimed in.

"No sir," I said. I steal a glance at Chuck and I see he knows how hard this is on me. As I watch him, I see an unusual expression cover his face. At first I thought it was a flash but then I recognize it…it's a flash alright, a flash of insight. I smile because I know that Chuck has thought of something. I know it has something to do with protecting me. There is a comfort that comes over a woman, even a CIA trained assassin, when she knows she has a man willing to stand in the gap for her. I take a deep breath and wait. I wait for what I know is coming. I don't know what it is but I have absolute faith that Chuck will pull it off.

"Sarah, I can't believe you're not going to tell them," he says.

I just shrug playing along. Fact is, I don't have a clue where he's going.

"Tell us what, Bartowski?"

"Well General, I can only assume that Agent Walker hasn't told you her plan because she is afraid you will nix it."

"Get to the point Bartowski." The General was leaning on her desk eager to hear what he had to say.

"Agent Walker did not make a mistake having her photograph taken. In fact, it was a calculated move. Bryce has been largely ineffective finding even one Fulcrum agent. So Agent Walker decided to put us out there and see if we could get any hits," Chuck said turning to me and smiling from ear to ear.

I see where he's going. "All we have to do is keep a surveillance team on the photographer around the clock and if any Fulcrum agents see the photo, it won't take them long to find the owner of the photo and knock on his door. We nab the bad guys when they show up and then we have someone to interrogate," I say finishing up for Chuck. I smile at him knowing he's saved my reputation.

I watch as my boss starts smiling. The professional rivalry he has with Beckman clearly shows as he gloats over the plan.

"I find it hard to believe that you thought of this plan and then decided to go rogue with the implementation," Beckman said trying to find any chink in the armor.

I just shrug.

"Nice work Walker. We'll get a surveillance team on it right away," Graham said.

"Agent Walker, could we speak to you and Casey alone?" General Beckman said dropping the previous subject.

"I know when I'm not wanted," Chuck said stealing a wink at me.

I watch him leave with a smile on my face.

"Walker, we wanted to speak with you about your assessment of Bartowski with this Celia woman. You know he's supposed to go back to New York in four days. Do you think he can pull this off without screwing the whole mission up?" Beckman said.

My emotions went from thrilled to chilled in an instant. I had actually forgotten that Chuck had to go back to New York. Another example of how much I have missed Sarah Walker, my alter ego.

"What do you want to know?" I ask.

"We believe that Chuck stands a very good chance of getting his hands on the information we need. But in order to do that he may have to sleep with her. We know he is in love with you. We also know that he is the kind of man who will find it hard to "cheat" on his fiancé. Do you think he has what it takes to go through with it" And if not, do you think you can persuade him in some fashion?"

I stand looking at the video screen. I know my mouth must be open but I can't seem to find the muscles to close it. "Excuse me… You want me to convince Chuck to sleep with another woman?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes." She offered nothing more.

_Do it, Walden. You just got back in their good graces. Do it._

_Shut the fuck up, Walker. Not another word._

"General Beckman, you probably aren't aware of this but-"

_Don't you dare._

"But I'm in love with Chuck Bartowski," I say simply but with defiance in my voice.

I watch as the General and the Director look at me stone faced. They then look at each other.

"You're joking right?" Beckman said.

"No Ma'am, I'm very much in love with him."

"No, I mean you're joking about the fact that you didn't think we knew…hell everyone knows…even Assistant Deputy Director Melrose's administrative assistant knows that."

"I don't understand," I say.

"Agent Walker, we're spies. We're in the business of reading people. Finding out everything there is to find out about a person. Graham knew you were in trouble from your first report."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "So that means you understand about me not wanting to convince Chuck to go to New York to sleep with Celia?"

"On the contrary, we want you to convince him because as an agent for your government this will keep America safer."

"My fiancé has to fuck some random woman to keep America safe. Talk about taking one for your country."

"I don't like your tone Walker. Besides, we all know you've had to do the same thing. And, as I recall, you were having a thing with Larkin at the time. What's the difference?" Beckman said smiling as though she had me there.

"The difference is that Bryce is a spy just like me. Chuck is not. I'll admit that I don't want him sleeping with another woman but the real reason I will not go along with this is what it will do to Chuck. You don't know him like I do. He won't see this as another job. Because for him it isn't, to him it will be cheating on me and I won't let you hurt him like that."

The General stared me down or tried to. I held my ground.

"Casey, you've been quiet throughout this discussion. What's your take on it?"

If I ever needed John Casey to back me on something it is now. I look over at him and I know I can't hide the worry from my expression. He takes a quick glance at me before he begins.

"If Chuck was a trained agent, I would agree with you General. We do what it takes to get the job done."

I'm not sure if there is a hidden dig within that sentence directed towards me but I can't dwell on that now. I listened for him to finish.

"The fact is…Chuck isn't trained. He's far from trained. I wouldn't have sent him in the first place. But now introduce him to a large portion of guilt and I don't think he can pull it off."

_I love you John Casey. _

"Very well, it seems as though you two are in agreement. But he still has to go. We will make sure that he has the means to drug her if things get sticky for him. But Walker, we still need you to help him out, show him the ropes so to speak. It seems as though you've been doing that for some time now."

"Wait a minute. You're OK with Chuck and I being in love? My asset… and I…in love?"

"We're OK with it as long as you keep doing a good job. You screw up and you're outta there," Beckman said.

I know when to pick my battles and now is not the time. "Yes Ma'am." I watch the video screen go blank and turn to Casey. He looks as though he is ready to start in on me again. Before he does I reach up and kiss him square on the mouth. I kiss him so he knows how much I appreciate what he did for me.

"What the hell, Walker. I knew you couldn't keep your hands off the guys you work with."

I know he's just embarrassed. "Casey, I owe you one." That's about as big a statement as a spy can make. Typically we can't afford to owe anyone anything. We might have to put a bullet in their head.

"Come on, let's find Bartowski. Maybe then you can keep your lips off of me," he said walking out the door.

I watch him leave. I have to smile because I know deep down, I touched him. I know that somewhere within the stone-cold killer's heart of John Casey, Chuck Bartowski has worked a miracle in him too. It's not just me that he's impacted. After taking a second to comprehend just how significant that is, I leave the video room with a grin on my face.

X-X

Chuck and I are comfortable in our own apartment. I don't believe that I have ever been so content and happy in my life. As I think about what has happened to me over the last few weeks, I can't believe my good fortune. First, I get to show off the love of my life to my family. I know they liked him. I knew they would. Secondly, I finally got to rid myself of the specter that was Ben. I'm still not sure what power he had over me but I'm glad it's gone. And thirdly, I got to tell Beckman and Graham that I'm in love with Chuck and the world did not explode. On the contrary, everything is just the way it was before."

Chuck and I are in our pajamas watching our new TV in our living room. We talked about the meeting with Beckman and Graham. I not only told him how much I appreciated his help with them I showed him my appreciation as well earlier this evening.

We had ordered a pizza and were expecting it at any second. So when the knock on the door came I didn't think anything of it. Jumping up, I went to get the pizza. As I opened the door, I'm sure my expression told Chuck it was not the pizza delivery man at the door.

"Sarah, who is it?"

"Can I come in?" Bryce said.

I stood in the doorway without moving, more from shock than anything else.

"Sarah, I need to talk with Chuck. Can I come in?"

Chuck must have recognized his voice and stood as I let my old lover into the apartment.

"Thanks," he said to me.

I see that he doesn't have the same swagger that I associate with him. Somehow the confidence is missing. He walked into the living room and stood about half way between Chuck and me.

"Look, I just came to tell you I'm sorry," he said. "Chuck, you're the only friend I have in the world and I just couldn't leave things the way they were. I didn't like the way I felt about myself."

"You have a funny way of treating your friends Bryce. First, you get me kicked out of Stanford, then sex up my girl and a few years latter you send me this intersect and I've got every bad guy in country looking for me, and to top it all off, you try to steal my girl again." Chuck's voice rose with every new accusation.

"I didn't mean to get you kicked out of Stanford and Jill came on to me. I still beat myself up over that. As for sending you the intersect, I wish I hadn't. You know why?"

Chuck shook his head.

"Because if I'd not sent you the intersect, most likely, Sarah and I would be watching TV back in DC."

I don't know what's happened to Bryce but this openness and honesty is not something I'm used to seeing. I have to admit it had an effect on me.

"Look Chuck, she was my girlfriend when you met her. From my perspective you stole her from me," he said looking at me.

"And as for Sarah," he continued. I'm still in love with her. You two are the only people that I care about in the whole world. I think it's ironic that you ended up together."

Chuck and I stare at each other not having any response for Bryce.

"Yeah Chuck, I tried to get her back. From my perspective it wasn't stealing it was just…reacquiring what was mine."

Bryce looked down at his shoes. I'm pretty sure it was to hide the fact that he had tears in his eyes.

"I really thought when I was given this last mission that I would get you back Sarah. I could not imagine you telling me no. I knew how much you wanted it…I just didn't know how much you love Chuck."

Chuck started to say something but Bryce cut him off.

"Let me finish. Like I said, you two are the only people that I care about in the world. I just couldn't leave things like this with the chance of not ever making it right." He hesitated for an instant. "Yeah, I made a play for Sarah, because I'm in love with her. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if our situations were reversed."

I look at Chuck and see that it is obvious that he would have done the same thing.

"Anyway, like I said. I didn't want to leave things as they were. This may be the most sought after mission of all times but it is dangerous. I just wanted you both to know how I felt."

I am speechless. Bryce never once told me he loved me. He would always say something like 'back at you' or 'ditto' or sometimes even 'I know' after I told him that I love him. I don't even try to hide the tears falling from my eyes.

"Bryce, you have to be careful. You've always been too reckless. We both know that can get you killed this time."

"Look who's calling the kettle black," he said. "After Singapore you will never have the right to talk about me being careless."

I am stunned. I am afraid to look at Chuck. Slowly I turn my head and am relieved to see that he is not in the middle of a flash. "You didn't flash just then, did you?" I asked hoping against hope.

"No, what happened in Singapore?"

"Bryce, if you ever want to call me a friend…you will never speak of Singapore again. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand. Well no I don't. What's got you so riled about Singapore?"

I just stare him down.

Finally, I turn to Chuck. "I'm going to ask a favor of you. I really need this…OK? I need to have one secret from you. Only one…promise me that you will never access my mission file on Singapore as long as I'm alive. Promise me, OK?"

"I promise. I promise you, Sarah, I will never read your file or ask anyone about Singapore. OK?"

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Chuck, it's not as bad as what you must be thinking right now. It's just, I don't want you to know."

"I've already promised. You know what I always say. A promise is a promise."

"Look you two, I've got to go. I've stayed longer than I intended to anyway. If I don't see you again…have a great and happy life."

"No no no," Chuck said. "You don't leave us like that." Chuck walked up to him a wrapped him in his arms.

I know Bryce and it was all he could do to maintain his composure. When they were done he could not look Chuck in the eye. He came to me and gently kissed me on the cheek.

"Goodbye Sarah."

"You take care. Remember, you're going to change the world. Just make sure you come back to enjoy the world you create," I said wiping a tear from my eye as I closed the door on an old chapter of my life.

Twenty minutes later, Chuck and I are eating pizza on the couch. We had tried to watch one of our favorite movies called A Good Year, but Bryce's visit took us out of the mood for TV.

"What do you thinking about Bryce's visit?" I asked Chuck.

"I'm thinking about how sorry I am for him."

"Sorry, why?"

I just can't help but think how I would be feeling if I had won your love only to loose it later. I can't imagine what he's going through right now."

I capture his eyes in mine. "You know you never have to worry about that," I say as I lay my head back down on his chest.

It was a bittersweet night and neither Chuck nor I slept well as we thought of Bryce going off alone to save the world.


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: We're headed home now. Just a few chapters left.

Only Two Options

Chapter 12

"Sarah relax, I'll be fine." Chuck reaches across the seat of the CIA jet and holds my hand.

"Chuck, you just don't know how many things can go wrong in an operation like this. I wish you had never gotten involved in this in the first place."

"Well I am involved and there's no use wishing it were otherwise."

_He's right about that. Besides it's not the danger that's got you so upset, Walden._

I take a deep breath._ I suppose you're OK with Chuck spending the night with that Celia woman?_

_Walden, that's just the way it is. Deal with it. Chuck is on a mission and your job is to make sure he's successful. _

_I've said it before; I don't want him to be successful. We both know what success means in an operation like this. _

_That's why he's got the drug. Quit worry about your boy toy getting lucky tonight. _

_Walker, you know it takes a little bit of skill to administer the drug. There's only one dose…if he screws that up he's left with only one option._

_For crying out loud Walden, Bartowski will be the end of our career. Get a grip._

Deep down I know that Sarah Walker is right. I have no choice but to make sure Chuck is successful. And I don't mean getting lucky. I mean that he completes the mission.

_No matter what._

_That's right Walker, no matter what._

"Chuck, I need to talk with you about being with Celia tonight."

"Sarah, don't worry…nothings going to happen. I promise."

I take a deep breathe, "That's what I want to tell you. If something goes wrong with the drug…you'll have to go ahead with the mission," I say locking eyes with the man I love.

'Sarah, I don't think I could do that knowing you're listening to every sound being uttered."

"You have to Chuck. You don't know what's at stake here. It could mean millions of lives."

"What!"

I knew it was a mistake to say it the minute the words left my mouth. "Chuck, it's not a certainty it's just a possibility. If you get that information there's no way it can happen." I look at him until I see him start to calm down. "If it comes to that…I promise not to listen." Our two sets of sad eyes met knowingly. It was at times like these that I hate my job.

I put my head on his shoulder and thought about what this night would bring.

X-X

My phone rings as I'm setting up the surveillance equipment across from Celia's apartment. I look at it and see that its Chuck calling. "Shit, this can't be good news."

I answer, "What's up," I say in case it's not Chuck.

"Sarah, we've got a change in plan. Celia says she just had her apartment fumigated and she's staying at the Tribeca Grand on Canal."

"OK Chuck, I know right where that's at. I'll get my gear packed and get set up in the room next to yours. Is the room in her name?"

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"Take her out to dinner and then to the show. By the time you get back to her hotel room, I'll be ready."

"OK…I miss you. Bye."

I smile to myself. But then I see all the equipment that I have to pack up all by myself. I wish Casey was here to help.

I dial a number on my phone. "Agent Walker, security code 1639568 echo tango 7." I get the go ahead to proceed. "I need to acquire the room next to Celia Evans. She's at the Tribeca on Canal in New York City." I wait for my organization to do what they do the best. It took about thirty seconds. The phone rings again and I answer. "Walker here…378, got it. Thanks." I hang up the phone and get started packing my gear. About half way through the job it occurs to me that my fiancé was probably staring into the eyes of a beautiful woman and having a five star dinner right now. I shove that thought out of my mind and quickly pack the rest of my gear, drive to the Tribeca and take enough luggage with me to stay for a month. I tip the bellhops well because they worked hard to get my equipment to my room.

Another thirty minutes and I am lying on my bed waiting for my fiancé and his date to come back to her room. It's obvious to me that she expects to get lucky tonight. The only thing she's going to get is a roaring headache from the knockout drug Chuck gives her.

My mind wonders as I lay on the bed. I think of Bryce and where he might be right now. I have a very good idea generally speaking where he is. I know that what he did the other night was hard for him. It told me that Chuck means a lot to him too. He just doesn't have the capacity to show his feelings… much like Walker. The thought strikes me that those two would be perfect for each other.

I think about everything that's happened in my life during the past month. I can't believe that Chuck and I have a relationship that's out in the open, even with the CIA. That's the best. There's the Ben incident and Bryce coming to make amends. I loved showing off my fiancé to my family. I'm not sure what to think about Mindy at this point. Maybe she will change her mind. It's a good life but full of danger. I don't really want that for my sister.

I think about Chuck's family. It's small but there's a lot of love between him and his sister. We have dinner plans in three days. I know she will want to talk wedding plans. I'm not sure how we will deal with that but I'm sure we'll come up with something.

I am lying on the bed in my hotel room next to Celia's, when I hear them come into her room.

I get out of bed and put the headphones on to listen in on their conversation. There still in the chit chat phase. It doesn't even sound as though they've started kissing yet. She's still talking about the play. She must have like it.

All of sudden there is silence. But immediately I hear Chuck ask some silly question. Good boy, I thought. I told him not to have dead air on the mic. I can not determine what is going on if there is no talking.

Suddenly, I hear kissing. She must have instigated that quickly. My heart rate starts to climb as I hear their heavy breathing.

I can hear clothing being removed... removed hastily it sounded. I hear the sound of the bed as two bodies climbed in. I knew that Chuck is in bed with this beautiful woman and he and she are completely naked. I have to tell myself to remain calm. Chuck's just doing what he's been asked to do. All this time he's made some kind of noise just to leave a trail for me to listen to. I hear them kissing again. Now Chuck, use the ring on your right hand and just stick her with it. I continue to hear kissing.

Heavy kissing.

And then silence… I wait holding my breath for five, ten, fifteen seconds. I wait another five seconds and then make a mad dash for the hotel room that has my lover in it.

It took anther twenty seconds for my EPU to find the correct combination to unlock the door and another three seconds to stand inside the room with my gun drawn.

What I saw was very disturbing to me. I don't know if I will every get the mental picture out of my head.

In the bed was my naked love and as much as I hate to admit it, the very beautiful Celia Evans. The blanket was pulled back allowing me to see not only Chuck but Celia too. Chuck's hand was on her bare hip while her arm was draped around his side and on his back. They were both passed out. Clearly they had both been drugged. Confusion swept my thinking but in a flash of insight I knew what had happened.

Without worrying about waking up the lovebirds, I went on a search of Celia's belongings.

It was well hidden but I know where to look. I look at the object in my hand and then closely at the naked woman in bed with my man. I had to laugh.

Digging through my purse, I found the antidote for the drug Chuck had given her. Getting my gun ready I stabbed her with the antidote and move back out of reach of her. I then sat down in the chair facing the bed and waite for her to come to.

It didn't take long. She started to stir within seconds.

"Don't pretend to be asleep. I know you're awake," I said.

She opened her eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'll ask the questions," I said showing her my gun. When I was satisfied she knew not to play games I started again. "What is the Mossad during in New York without the CIA's involvement?" I asked as I threw her identification badge to her. She caught it nimbly.

"Do you really think we trust the CIA with our very existence?" she said mockingly.

I change the subject looking over at Chuck. "What did you give him?"

"Midazolam or a derivative," she said. "And me?"

"The same. How much did you give him?"

"I'm surprised he's not waking up already," she said.

That's when I thought maybe Chuck had learned more than I realized. "Chuck, if you're awake say something."

"Something," he said and quickly pulled the sheet up over his midsection.

Celia looked at me and smiled. "He seems to be a shy spy. Don't think I've ever run into that species," she said appraising him openly.

"Again, why are you here? What is your real name again?" I ask thinking back to her ID card. "Talya Golan?"

"I'm here for the same reason I suspect you're here. To get the business plan and specifications for the particular shipment of computer components. We both know where those parts are going to end up. The Israeli government cannot allow Iran to get their hands on this equipment. I intend to turn Harding in as soon as I know the business plan and the specifications of his components. Willfully dodging your countries ITAR policies will stop that shipment and put Harding behind bars."

Talya got out of bed and slipped on her panties. She turned to me. "We can still get those plans. Harding is putting on a party at his home. I know that he keeps the plans in his safe there. He's invited me to come but I do not have a date...yet." She looked at Chuck; her bare chest had somehow caused his mouth to open. "Now I do," she said ignoring my fiance's exression.

I did not.

"Would you mind covering up before my partner's eyes pop out of his head?"

She looked at me and then to Chuck. Her smile slowing enveloping her face. "I see how it is with you two. You know the Mossad does not allow that kind of fraternization."

"Neither does the CIA," I said.

"OK, I must have misunderstood the situation," she said walking around the bed to stand beside him. She reached down and took his hand in hers and held it against her stomach and slowly moved it upwards. "You know maybe after the dinner party's over at Harding's, you could come back to my place and-"

"If you don't let go of the CIA agents hand…I'm going to remove it for you," I said very pissed off.

_Great Walden, you just gave your relationship away. That's all she was trying to ascertain anyway._

_I don't care. In another second she would have had his hands on her breasts. _

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was stepping across a line."

"Now you do. Don't do that again or you'll have to find another date for the party."

That seemed to get her attention. She went to get her bra and quickly put it on, followed by the rest of her clothes. Chuck kept the sheet around him and went into the bathroom to get dressed.

While he was away, I called Graham an explained the situation here. He was very upset at the leadership of the Mossad. I'm sure there would be a lot of explaining to do on this one.

Talya and I put together a plan. She and Chuck would go to Harding's house for the dinner party. They would spend the night together as boyfriend/girlfriend and then would leave the next morning. That is after she had photographed the business plans and the specifications for the computer components.

Chuck and I would have plenty of time to get back to LA for Ellie's dinner date.

_Oh, great Walden, now you're planning your missions around your social activities. You gotta be kidding me._

I ignore her. Besides, I'm really looking forward to having dinner with Ellie and Devon. Chuck and I haven't had any time to spend with his sister since we've gotten engaged.

"What did I miss?" Chuck says coming out of the hotel bathroom fully clothed.

We both smile at him and then look at each other. "Are you going to tell him or should I," Talya said.

"Tell me what?"

She looked at me again and then turned to Chuck. "Zip up," she said smiling.

He hurriedly pulled the zipper on his pants and turned beat red.

"Chuck, you were just in bed with this woman not twenty minutes ago stark raving naked. Why do you get so embarrassed because your zipper's down?" I asked laughing.

The females in the room were having a good time at Chuck's expense.

Ignoring me he went to get his dinner jacket. "Are we done here?" He walked towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow night Chuck. Loose the Midazolam and maybe we'll have a good time?"

We both laughed at her joke. But then I got serious.

"That's funny as long as you're kidding," I said.

Talya got serious as well. "Don't worry CIA, there's a reason I used the drug too."

I got her meaning and immediately felt better about Chuck being with Talya tomorrow night.

I had to run to catch Chuck. He was a little upset about our treatment of him. But mostly he just wanted to get something for the headache he had.

"Chuck, we can stay here for the night. I've got all of our equipment in the room next door," I said out of breath from running after him.

X-X

One hour later we're in bed and have discussed the plans for the mission. Chuck has gotten over the poor treatment he received at the hands of the female spies.

We went to sleep knowing that in a little over twenty four hours we could be on a plane back to LA after completing a very successful mission.

Before actually drifting off, I think that if Chuck actually pulls this off he might be able to secure a place within the CIA. It's time he gets paid for all of this work. Besides, what he's done here in New York is not asset work, its full fledged agent's work. When we get back I am going to have that conversation with Graham.

Now I can only hope everything goes well.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: OK, here's the chapter we've all been waiting for. I hope you like it.**

Only Two Options

Chapter 13

The video screen went dark and Casey, Chuck and I kept staring at it. I could not keep the smile from my face. I can only imagine what is going through Chuck's mind right now.

"Well Bartowski, I guess congratulations are in order," Casey says turning to face Chuck who is standing between us.

Chuck was shaking Casey's hand but was still speechless.

"Chuck, you deserve this. You earned it," I said and gave him a big hug. He was limp in my embrace still not comprehending what had just happened.

"I can't believe that-" Chuck was cut off by Casey.

"Agent Bartowski, I never thought I would ever utter those words." Casey smiled but shook his head in earnest.

That brought Chuck out of his stupor. "Get used to it Casey because that's my title now. I expect to be treated with due respect," Chuck said not able to contain the smile from his face.

"Good lord, what has this world come to," Casey said leaving the Buy More Video Room.

Chuck then turned to me. "I know this was your doing," he said looking at me with a sincerity that made my heart rise in my throat.

"I only mentioned to Graham that looking at results alone. You had better results than a third of our staff. I asked him if he thought that that was fair…I guess he didn't."

"Sarah, what's this mean? I mean what impact is this going to have on us? I mean our relationship?"

"Well the only impact I can see is that you are going to be able to afford to take your best girl out in style," I said enjoying his childlike enthusiasm.

"You know I love you with every ounce of strength God gave me, right?"

My eyes moistened at that. "Chuck, I do know that you love me. And I can't tell you how important that is to me now."

Chuck looked at the CIA ID badge that I had handed him just minutes ago. "This is so surreal. I guess in a way I have Bryce to thank for this too. If he had not sent that email to me I would not be an employee of our government and I would not have you. The next time I see Bryce I've got to tell him how much I appreciate him."

"Let's hope we get a chance to see him again." I look at my watch. "Hey we need to get ready. We've got to be at Ellie's in two hours," I said grabbing his hand and leading him out of the video room.

As we got into my car, I thought about the nice surprise Graham gave us. "What are you going to do with your week off?" I asked.

"Spend it with you. Beyond that I haven't made any plans."

"We should do something. Go somewhere," I said.

X-X

"Ellie, that was fabulous," I said, still tasking the lasagna.

"Oh it was just something I threw together," she said smiling.

"Ok, what are we going to now? It's only 5:30, we've got time to do anything we want," Devon said.

"We could play Monopoly," Chuck said.

"No, you always win, lets play something else," Ellie said.

"Do we have to play a game," I said becoming aware of a crazy thought that would not go away. I used all of my willpower to forget it.

"We could go for a walk," Ellie said.

"It's too hot out. I don't want to get all sweaty. I just took a shower, Devon said out of character.

_Walden, do not go there. I can't believe your thinking about this. _

_No, this is perfect. I can't think of a better way to show Chuck how much I love him. _

"Is there anything good on TV?" Ellie said.

"I don't know, let's find out," Devon said looking through the TV Guide.

"I know what I want to do," I said, the adrenalin flowing through my veins; my heart was pounding like canon fire.

Everyone turned to look at me expectantly. Normally, I don't suggest anything when I'm over at the Bartowski's; I just go along with whatever they come up with.

"I want to get married," I said.

"And you will, have you set a date yet?" Ellie said without looking up.

"No, I mean I want to get married tonight." I watched three heads snap to my direction. I looked at the three people sitting around the table from me. Chuck was the first to smile…then Ellie and finally Devon.

"Sarah, what are you saying?" Ellie said.

"Let's go to Las Vegas and get married. It's only four hours away." I turn to Chuck. "In five hours I could be Mrs. Bartowski." I look again at the people staring at me open mouthed.

"Devon, we could do that, you know," Ellie said the excitement growing in her voice.

"Babe, what about my family?"

"I don't know, we'll explain that it was a spur of the moment thing…come on Devon, Sarah's right. Let's get married tonight."

I turn to Chuck and see a look upon his face that I'll never forget as long as I live. It was a mixture of gratitude and love and excitement and a dozen other emotions all rolled into one. He came across the table and kissed me hard in front of his sister.

"That settles it. Devon, we're getting married tonight! Go get the car ready." The look on Ellie's face was resolute and Devon knew not to even think of arguing.

X-X

Ellie and I are in her bedroom picking out a dress for her to wear. I've sent Chuck to our apartment to get my dress and his clothes. Devon is already packed and went to gas up the car. As I had it figured, by midnight I would be a married woman.

Within thirty minutes we are all in Devon's Toyota Avalon heading east toward Vegas. The electricity in the car could have powered LA for the night. When I have a lucid moment I can not believe what we are doing. And…it was all because of me.

I think briefly what Graham is going to say when he finds out. I know I will get an ass chewing. But right now, I don't care. I know I'm doing the right thing.

"Sarah, where do you want to get married? There are a hundred different chapels there," Ellie said turning around to look at me.

I'm practically sitting on Chuck's lap. We've be kissing the whole time and his face is covered in my lipstick. There's a hotel that does weddings, it's called weddings in the air or something like that. That sounds OK to me." No one ever thought to ask how I would know that. I never bothered to tell them that I'd been there before under cover.

Chuck got on his IPhone and began to surf the web. "Got it," he said. Moments later he had dialed the number. "Hello, Weddings in the Clouds…do you have any availability for tonight? Eleven thirty," he said looking at Ellie.

Devon, get us to Las Vegas in three hours," she said with determination.

"We'll take it," Chuck said as he reached in his wallet for his credit card number.

"We're going to be pretty close so wait on us as long as you can, OK?"

As if on cue, Devon hit Interstate 15 and floored it. Woooh, I didn't know this baby had this in her," he said. "If we don't get stopped by the cops, were home free."

X-X

Just minutes from the city limits we have twenty minutes before our wedding is scheduled. Chuck, Ellie and I have gotten dressed in the car. Devon didn't have the luxury and will have to be quick when we get to the chapel.

Devon flies through the streets of Las Vegas with Ellie telling him every turn to make. The sound of skidding rubber fills our ears as the roar of the engine drowns out everything but our yelling. The streetlights fly by like the lights on a subway. It is a miracle that we have not been stopped by the cops.

Slamming his brakes on outside the chapel in the sky while making a perfect parking slide, we all pile out and run like rabbits to the doorway. Ellie and I are trying to put our high heels on as we run. We take the elevator to the top floor and finally arrive completely out of breath three minutes before our scheduled time of eleven thirty.

Devon runs into the changing room and exactly four minutes later emerges in a suit.

"Who's going first?" Chuck asks looking at me.

"Ellie and Devon should go first, they were engaged before us," I say. I watch Ellie smile as she looks at her husband to be.

"Devon, you ready?"

"Never been readier, babe," he said taking her hand and leading her to the front of the chapel. Chuck and I follow after them.

We watch as Ellie and Devon repeat their wedding vows. I cry it is so beautiful. Chuck holds me tight as we stand awaiting our turn.

It didn't take long before I heard, "You may now kiss the bride."

My heartrate went through the roof as the pastor motioned for Chuck and me to come to the podium. I can hardly force my legs to move. Somehow I am able to follow the love of my life and stand beside him facing the pastor.

"Sarah Walker and Charles Bartowski…are these you're legal names?" the pastor said looking at our ID.

Chuck said yes but I said no. I look at Chuck. "I want this to be real," I say. I look over at Ellie and Devon who have confused looks on their faces. "I'll explain later," I say to them.

"No, I've got my real ID here," I say as I dig through my purse. I find my drivers license from the state of Maine and hand it to the pasture. He looks at the ID and then at me.

"You're Sandy Walden?" he asks.

"I am," I say stealing a look at my soon to be sister in law.

"Then let's get married."

Chuck and I stand facing each other. We are holding both hands between our bodies. A favorite thing for us to do since we first did it on the roof top when I thought Chuck was going to be locked in a bunker. Now look at him. He's a full fledged CIA agent getting ready to marry his one time handler. Things like this only happen in a fairy tale.

Everything was a blur. Before I know what had happened I hear the pastor saying my name.

"Do you Sandy Walden take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband for richer or for poorer until death do you part?"

"I do."

He then turned to Chuck.

"Do you Charles Bartowski take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife for richer or for poorer until death do you part?"

Oh, I so do," he said and we all started laughing. I stopped as the seriousness of the moment took hold of me. I was just a pronouncement away from being Chuck Bartowski's wife. Mrs. Bartowski. I squeezed his hand as I hear the pastor say, "I now pronounce you husband and wife…Sir, you may now kiss your bride."

Chuck slowly moved his lips down to meet mine. Both sets of lips slightly parted in anticipation of meeting. I watch as they come closer and closer to my own. Finally, I feel the softness and the gentle caress of his lips upon mine. I heard both Ellie and Devon in the background yelling as we continued our kiss. Finally, Chuck broke away and smiling as big as I have ever seen him, he picked me up effortlessly and spun me around. We laughed with pure joy as I watched the room go round and round. He put me down and kissed me again. Then, it was time to face Ellie.

As we walked up to her and Devon she was quite. She was very happy for us but I can see that there is something on her mind. That something is a woman named Sandy Walden.

I'm not sure exactly when I decided to tell Ellie the truth about me but somewhere between her saying, 'I do' and following Chuck to the podium I made the decision.

Standing in front of her, I decide to put her off for just a short while. "Who's hungry? I'm starving," I say stealing a look at my sister in law. "Besides, we need a quite place to talk."

Ten minutes later, we find a little diner that is not completely packed. I steer the hostess to a booth that is relatively isolated from other customers and Chuck and I sit facing Ellie and Devon.

I see it is all she can do not to start interrogating me so I begin my explanation.

"Ellie, what I'm going to tell you can never leave this booth. You can not tell your coworkers and Devon…you cannot tell your family. Do you promise that?"

They looked at each other and then Ellie looked at Chuck silently asking what was going on.

"Ellie, Sarah's right. You cannot ever talk about this to anyone. OK?"

They shared another look and I see that Ellie is now a little concerned about what she is going to hear.

They both say OK in unison.

"As you know, my name is Sandy Walden. But I work for the United States Government in a capacity that is very sensitive. I use the alias of Sarah Walker because I need to maintain anonymity."

I watch Ellie try to process what I've just told her. "I don't understand Sarah…or Sandy. I mean I don't even know what to call you," Ellie said the exasperation evident in her voice.

"Ellie, I'm undercover out here so I am Sarah Walker. But I can assure you that I love your brother. I didn't want to marry him as Sarah Walker and not have it be a real marriage. You understand?"

"Wait a minute, so the Wienerliscious job is just a front or something," she said her brow furrowed in confusion.

"That's right." I see her mind working. She's getting to the question that will be of utmost interest to her.

"Sarah," she looked at me and then at Chuck as she had definitely put two and two together. "Why do you spend so much time with Chuck? When do you have time to actually do the job you're out here for?" she says as her eyes drill holes into her brother.

"Ellie…I work with Chuck." I didn't say any more. I just let that sink in.

She looked at her new husband and then to her brother. I cannot tell what's going on in her mind. "You work for our government too?"

"Uh…Ellie, I wanted to tell you but we thought that it might be too dangerous so we decided to keep you in the dark. I'm sorry. I can't tell you how hard it was to lie to you like that," Chuck said the emotion clearly dripping from his voice.

Ellie has a blank look on her face. I am so afraid that my instinct to tell her the truth is absolutely wrong.

"You've been working for the Government since Sarah's been here?" Ellie asked.

"Uh well-"

"That's right, Ellie. Chuck has worked with me ever since I first came out here," I said looking at Chuck to shut him up. There's no sense in complicating the story any more than it has to be. Technically, it's the truth.

Ellie looks at her husband and I see a tear slide down her cheek. I'm so afraid that we have hurt her with the truth.

She turns to Chuck abruptly and says, "That's so cool. You know what this means?" she said waiting to answer her own question and keeping us all in suspense.

"Chuck doesn't have to work on that five year plan. He's already made it." She broke out in the biggest smile. Getting up from her side of the booth she came over and gave her little brother a huge hug. "I'm so proud of you." As she went back to sit down I see she started to think of the reality of the situation.

"You said it was dangerous…how dangerous?" she asked looking from me to Chuck.

We look at each other. Chuck gives me a little nod to proceed. "I'm not going to lie to you… it can be dangerous work. We are at the center of a pretty intense national security alert. But we have a good team and we're very good at what we do."

I watch Ellie look at Chuck with so much pride. It is worth the risk I'm taking just to see her expression.

"Wow Chuck, I had no idea you were like… James Bond," Devon said.

"Well actually it's Carmichael…Charles Carmichael."

I watched the three of them burst out laughing. I am not sure he should have given that away but I can not help it. I start laughing as well.

"So Ellie, Chuck and I are really married. My legal name is now Sandy Bartowski. But I still need to be known around here as Sarah Walker. It's for the job. This is something that only we can know about. As far as everyone else is concerned, I'm still Sarah Walker, Chuck's fiancée."

"There is one more complication…I will need to let my parents know about getting married. I would like for you to meet them. When we go there, I will be Sandy Walden Bartowski. When you meet my parents, Sarah Walker does not exist. OK?"

OK, but you realize how odd that is going to be for us," she said looking at her husband. I've known you for almost a year now. I think of you as Sarah. It's going to be a real adjustment to think of you as Sandy."

I see she is really concerned. "Ellie, it won't be that difficult. You'll see. I can't tell you how excited I am for my husband's family to meet my family. I will try to set something up as soon as I can."

I sit beside my husband. Just the thought of telling them that I've gotten married to Chuck is so exciting for me that I can barely stand it. I cannot believe how great my life has turned out. I owe it all to this wonderful man. I look at my husband. As I do, I feel that familiar stirrings deep inside me. I call it that warm and fuzzy feeling.

"You know," I say looking at Chuck with a special look. "I'm not really hungry. What do you say we grab a hotel room for the night and turn in?" I see that Chuck understands my meaning.

"Yeah, I'm really tired," he says faking a yawn. "What do you say we meet tomorrow for breakfast?"

Ellie and Devon both laugh understanding what is going on. "Let's sleep in. We can meet for breakfast around ten O'clock. You know technically Sarah, we girls are on our honeymoon, do you think that will give us enough time?" she said with a wicked smile on her face.

"Mmh," I say looking at Chuck. "I don't know. I'll call you on your cell if we need more time," I say smiling.

We leave the restaurant without even ordering. We find a hotel which is easy in Vegas.

Chuck and I spend our first evening as husband and wife. Some of that time was spent as you might imagine. But we stayed up most of the night just talking about our dreams and hopes for the future. We still have to learn a lot about each other. I know that we have the time now. I push away the thought of what the CIA's official stance will be when they find out about our marriage. The last thought I have as I fall asleep for the first time as Sandy Bartowski is how safe I feel lying by my husband's side.

Fore the first time in my life, I say a small prayer thanking God for what he's done for me.

Let tomorrow come…because tonight is perfect.


	15. Chapter 14

Only Two Options

Only Two Options

Chapter Fourteen

Chuck and I stroll lazily into the hotel restaurant for breakfast. We are thirty minutes late and feel like the whole world is on our time. I spot Ellie and Devon over in the corner. We walk towards them arm in arm. Chuck has his arm around my shoulder while I have mine around his waist. I love the feel of his back against my arm. I love how he moves with our arms around each other. I love the way our hips bump as we walk. I love the way he smells before and after a shower. I love-.

_For crying out loud Walden, you're gonna make me sick._

I ignore her. Nothing can ruin this day.

Ellie smiles as she sees us coming. She makes a big production out of looking at her watch. "I thought two hours this morning would be plenty of time….apparently not," she said smiling knowingly at me.

Chuck coughed trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Sit down you two. We couldn't wait any longer. We've already ordered but if you know what you want, I'm sure they can bring both orders out at once," she said waving down the waitress.

"I'm not that hungry today. I just want some toast and coffee," I say to the young lady who is waiting on our table.

"Two eggs over easy. Two slices of sausage, some orange juice and some orange marmalade for the toast," he said stealing a glance my way.

"You're not still working the breakfast shtick, are you?" I say.

"What shtick…I'm just going to butter your toast and put jelly on it. In my book that's making breakfast," Chuck said totally serious.

"What's going on you two?" Ellie said looking from one of us to the other.

"Chuck and I have a bet going on. Really, we've not even started, but Chuck's got this silly idea that he's going to make my breakfast for me everyday for a year."

"Uh, uh uh," he said. "I'm making you breakfast every day for the rest of our lives."

I explained to Ellie what the bet was about and she and Devon were split on who would win. Devon agreed with Chuck while Ellie thought that he gets too wrapped up in his video games.

So when the waitress brought my toast, Chuck grabbed it up and put butter on it, and then spread the orange marmalade which he knows is my absolute favorite jelly. He then handed it to me as if he had just been slaving away in the kitchen.

I accepted it gracefully.

"Why don't you do anything like that for me?" Ellie said to Devon.

"Babe…how could I do that with my schedule? And then there's your schedule. Give me a break"

Ellie laughed at the pleading husband deciding to take pity on him. "Oh, you're not without some redeeming value. I guess I'll keep you around for a while," she said smiling at her husband. She reached up and ran her hand through his hair much the way I like to do with Chuck.

Midway through the meal, Chuck spoke up. "What are we going to do today?"

Everyone looked at me.

"Oh no you don't., I've put in my two cents already. It's someone else's turn to come up with something to do," I said. "Just don't try to top my idea," I said smiling.

"How about gambling?" Chuck said.

"No, I'm not in the mood for that. I hate to see all the people desperate to win and then loose everything they have," Ellie said.

"You don't know they've lost everything they have, Babe," Devon said to his wife.

"I know but that's what I imagine when I see them lose. I want to do something peaceful, relaxing," Ellie said looking at each one of us.

"Well, that leaves Elvis out," Chuck said laughing. I see he's had a good morning so far. And, I know why.

"What else is there to do in Vegas besides gambling and the shows?" Devon said.

That's when another thought struck me. I can't believe I'm going to suggest something else. "Has anyone every taken the train overland?" I said hoping they wouldn't laugh at me.

"That's a great idea. We could take the train to wherever and then catch a plane back here for going home. That would be a perfect end to the honeymoon," Ellie said.

"I'm game," Devon said looking at Chuck who was agreeable as well.

"You know what makes this even better?" Ellie said looking at me. "We have to go shopping. I didn't bring enough clothes for the week."

"Shopping it is," I say smiling back at her.

We finish eating and walk to the mall which is just a few blocks away. Two hours later, Chuck and I have a new wardrobe which makes me happy because I finally got to do what I've wanted to do practically since I first met him. Pick out a completely different style of clothing for my husband. Nothing drastic mind you. Chuck is such a laid back guy that polo shirt just would not fit him, but a bowling shirt. You know the kind Charlie Sheen wears in that TV show of his. Chuck looks so good.

"Looking good, Chuck. I see you're going to be dressing to impressing." Devon said putting his arm around his brother in law.

"You sure you want him looking that good, Sarah. You're going to have the women all over my brother dressing him like that."

"What women," Chuck said as he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me deeply. It took my breath away.

"Come on lover," I say. "Let's find the train station. I understand they have sleeping quarters on trains."

"Chuck, I gotta say, I'm impressed Bro. I've gone from thinking you didn't have it in you to being jealous," he said as he hit Chuck in the shoulder.

Chuck was both proud and embarrassed at he same time. He managed to get us to the station by using his GPS feature on his phone.

Two hours later we are on a train bound for Denver. We have airline tickets back to Vegas and that will just about blow our week of rest and relaxation.

Chuck and I have a first class compartment and are relaxing on the sofa. The sound of the wheels as they hit each new rail is unmistakable. I love it.

My head is resting on his lap as I think about how happy I am. I never ever dreamed that I could end up like this. Married to a man that I am crazy about. And, I know he's crazy about me.

All of a sudden out of nowhere, Sarah Walker makes her presence felt. _You know Walden, sooner or later we have to go back to our job. There's no getting around that. You can try to forget about it but the fact is next Monday will be here before you know it. We both know that you can say that you're not going to do anything that Chuck would disapprove of but the fact is…it will depend on how high the stakes are. Graham will put enough pressure on you to do what we both know will have to be done….probably before the year is out. Then what are you going to do?_

It hit me worse than a blow to the stomach. Because I know she's right. The CIA will be upset with me for marrying Chuck but when it comes down to it…they will get over it but they won't get over me staying at home playing Suzie Homemaker. They will expect me to do what I've always done to get the job done. It's what I do. It's the nature of the job.

I look at Chuck who is absent-mindedly rubbing my head. How is he really going to deal with this life? Making him a CIA agent doesn't really change who he is and how he thinks. What if Bryce was right and Chuck just isn't cut out for this life.

As Chuck continues his massage, I go to sleep with Chuck's sweet hand on my head and sour thoughts plodding through my dreams.

Thankfully, I don't remember if I dreamed or not. As I open my eyes, I see the deep brown, loving eyes of my husband smile at me. Those smiling eyes almost take away all the concern I have for my beautiful man.

Almost.

"You know Sarah, I know you better than you think. I know you're worrying about our jobs and how I'm going to deal with all the nasty stuff. You're probably worried about what they may ask you to do." Those beautiful eyes peered at me ever more intently. "Fact is… I don't have all the answers right now. But I know this. If we stick together and stay open and honest with each other we'll find a way around any problem that's put before us."

_Hear that Walker. He's right you know. Together we'll get through it all. We don't need you butting into our lives anymore._

I rise from his lap; putting my hand behind his neck I pull his head toward me and kiss him hungrily. I feel his body respond to mine. Just when I think how much I want him right now there is a knock on our door.

"Chuck, Sarah, you guys descent," Ellie says through the door.

Taking a deep cleansing breath to calm myself down, I stand up but continue to hold my husbands hand. "Come in Ellie. We're descent."

"You guy's wanna join us? There starting a cribbage tournament in the game room."

I look at my husband. He doesn't give me the 'no way' look so I agree. "We'll be there in a jiffy. Give us a chance to wash up."

"OK," she said almost closing the door before she stuck her head back inside. "Hey, 'wash up' isn't code for anything is it?"

We both laugh.

"It is now," Chuck said joining in the revelry.

Five minutes later, Chuck and I join Ellie and Devon in the game room. There we met Linda and Dennis, Donna and Jeff, Nancy and John and Heather and Kevin. They were four other couples taking the train to just relax and get away.

"Everyone, I want you to meet my brother and his new wife, Chuck and Sandy Bartowski."

We shook hands with everyone in room and started to play cribbage.

Did I mention how competitive I am? I couldn't stand it when Donna won. But I still had a good time.

That's when I saw him and knew that before this trip was over the good looking guy in the corner with a pretty woman hanging on his arm, would hit on me. I've seen that look too many times before to pass it off as anything else.

It made my blood boil to think I was going to have to deal with the likes of his kind while I'm on my honeymoon. Chuck must have recognized that something had affected my mood.

"Sandy, are you OK?"

"I'm fine…all of a sudden I'm just not in the mood for games. I think I'm going back to our room and curl up with a good book," I said getting up and walking towards the door.

I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away. Normally, I have to put up with the lecherous desires of the marks I am assigned to get close to. But this time it's different. I'm on my honeymoon and this guy looks to be on his as well. He's going to have a bad day if he actually comes on to me.

I get back to my cabin and curl up with "Wisdom of our Fathers" by Tim Russert. I've been meaning to read it for a couple of weeks but haven't had the time.

That reminds me, I don't even know if Chuck is a Republican or a Democrat or maybe an Independent. We've got so much to learn about each other and I can't wait to know more and more about this man I love.

I must have nodded off for a while because I'm startled when Chuck comes into the cabin.

"Hey you. Howya doing?"

"I'm OK sweetie, I just needed a little alone time. Not had much of that in the last few weeks."

He quietly sits down beside me and began rubbing the back of my head. He's picked up on the fact that I love it when he does that.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" he asked his eyes probing mine for the truth.

"I'm sure," I said laughing. I just needed to unwind."

I'm not sure he completely bought it but he did give up.

"We need to go to the dining car pretty soon, they're going to serve lunch in about thirty minutes," he said.

"Yeah, sounds good. I am getting a little hungry."

Chuck stood. "Come on, let's beat the crowd," he said taking my hand and helping me up.

It was a short walk into the dining car. Much to my disappointment, the good looking guy is in the room with his wife. He stares at me when I enter the car. I completely ignore him. Maybe that dissuade him.

Who do I think I'm kidding. He will have to be dealt with. Sooner than later I hope. Let's get it over with so I can enjoy my honeymoon. I think.

X-X

The food was great and I was starving. Chuck and I talk with a few of the guests. I kept looking for Ellie and Devon but Chuck said that they would probably eat later.

"You wanna go watch the scenery?" I asked.

"I've been watching the scenery all morning long," he said staring into my eyes.

I can't help but to smile. "Out there silly. Let's go to one of the passenger cars for a while."

"Lead the way," he said.

"You just want to look at my ass."

"Busted again," he said wrapping me up in his arms and following me while he had me cocooned under his grasp.

I never bothered to look but I know the good looking guy took it all in. You would think that the guy would see that I am in love with my husband. But a guy like that can't believe any woman wouldn't want him. He's rich and knows he's good looking. Probably had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

X-X

Chuck and I sit across from each other and watched the countryside float by. I really enjoy watching the landscape as it twists and turns and rises and falls. Chuck and I are comfortable chit chatting as we take in the view.

"Hey, wife of mine, have you thought about how you're going to tell Graham about us getting married?"

"Not much to think about. Monday when we check in I'm just going to tell him we got married on our break."

"What do you think he's going to do?"

"Nothing. Oh, He'll let me know that he disapproves but that'll be about it. I'll be surprised if there's much said about it now that you're on the payroll."

"So that's why you decided to marry me?" he said only half kidding.

I return his smile. "I won't lie to you. It sure made the decision a lot easier. Not that I wouldn't have done it anyway. But if I married you while you were still my asset…I'm not sure what would have happened."

"I've got a question for you. Who are you going to vote for in the election?" Chuck said.

"Will me to you Riggs," I said stealing a line from one of my favorite movies.

"Huh, I don't get it."

"You know, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover…Lethal Weapon. Where Riggs is trapped under water and Danny says on the dock "will me to you Riggs." Like they have this connection. And sure enough, he finds him."

I stop when I see Chuck looking at me with this growing smile. "What!" I say.

"Nothing nothing, I just never knew you were into movies like that," he said.

"Anyway, what I meant was that you and I were on the same wavelength because I was wondering if you were a Republican or a Democrat earlier," I said.

"Oh, I see," he said.

I look at him for a second. "Well…what are you?"

"Oh, Sandy that's a private matter. I'm not sure I know you well enough to share something that personal."

"Listen Bub, unless you're not interested in getting personal tonight you'll spill the beans," I said as I pulled on his shirt which in turn brings his face just inches from mine. As hard as I tried I could not keep from smiling.

"When you put it like that I'm voting for Nader."

"What! You can't be serious. You're really voting for Ralph Nader?"

"No."

"No, you're not voting for Nader or No, you're not serious?"

"No, I'm not voting for Nader…Hey, I didn't know you got into this so much. I really got you worked up."

"When you do this job for a while you kinda see the cause and effect of apathy. That's what I really dislike. I don't mind you voting for the other guy if you feel strongly about it but don't not vote or throw you're vote away. I don't risk my life and neither do you now for people to take it all for granted."

I notice Chuck appraising me and I understand that he just seen a side of me that he's never seen before. I can't tell what he thinks about it though.

"Hey, I'm going to go get a water…want one?"

"Sure," I say and watch him leave. I look out the window and watch the landscape mindlessly. After a few minutes I feel a hand on my knee. I smile thinking its Chuck. When I turn to see the good looking guy sitting down beside me with that smile on his face that I just hate. I've seen that same smile a thousand times.

"Do you mind moving your hand," I said coldly.

"Oh, sorry. I just saw you sitting here all by yourself and thought I would rescue you." As he said it he moved his hand all right. He moved it slowly up my thigh.

I smiled at him using my best smile for a mark. I put my left hand on his right knee and slowly move my hand up his thigh mimicking his ploy. Suddenly, I slam my hand into his groin and squeezing hard. At the same time I drive my elbow into his ribcage just at the top of the ribs.

"You ever wanna use these jewels again I would suggest you keep your filthy hands off of me," I said looking into his pain-racked, shocked eyes. I don't see total submission. I squeeze harder.

"OK, just let go." His voice raspy barely a whisper. He could say nothing more.

I released some of the pressure at the ribcage to see how he would react. Good, he'd had enough. I let go of him and he could not get out of my seat fast enough. He actually passed Chuck without looking back.

"Did you see that guy? He looked like he just went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. The 1980's Tyson not the 2000 Tyson."

"I'm sorry what?" I pretend as though I'd been looking out the window. I don't want Chuck to know about the good looking guy.

"Nothing, here's your water," he said reclaiming his seat across from me.

That felt so good. I took such pleasure in putting that guy in his place. It was like he took the place of every mark I had to endure while they put their filthy hands all over me and I pretend to like it.

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to every do that again. Chuck has had such an impact on me.

X-X

That afternoon we met up with Ellie and Devon and talked and just hung out. We had a great time. It was relaxing and peaceful. I kept looking for the good looking guy with the sore private section but he was nowhere to be found.

That evening before dinner we played the old board game clue. We played three games and I won all three. Most of the people sitting around the table thought I was lucky but I had the edge on them all with this game. After my third win in a row someone suggested we play something else. I had a good time but board games aren't really my cup of tea.

"You guy's go ahead. I'm gonna sit over here and watch." I say.

"You want me to join you?" Chuck said.

"No no, you go ahead and play. I'm just sitting out for a while," I say smiling at him.

I went to sit down by the window. There was still plenty of light out to see the landscape as it flowed by.

After a while I closed my eyes and listened to the group having fun at the game table. I'm not sure how long I was like that but suddenly I became aware of another person sitting opposite of me. Thinking that it was probably the good looking guy back trying to save what little he had left of his pride.

Opening my eyes, I'm shocked to see a dark haired man, well built with striking looks as well. He was looking at me and had his hand in his coat pocket.

"Don't go for the gun Agent Walker. I'm not here to hurt you. I need your help."

"How do you know my name?" I say.

"Listen, I don't have time to explain. My name is Eli Graff…you know my colleague Talya?" he said starring intently at me.

I look over to Chuck who is still at the game table and has no clue what's going on. "Go on," I say.

Talya has been kidnapped by Iranian terrorists. She's being held in Camden New Jersey."

"No problem. I'll talk to my supervisor and we'll get a elite SWAT team in there and get her out," I say reaching for my phone.

"Don't bother Agent Walker. We've already been in contact with your Director Graham. The CIA and all other agencies are sending in cleaners. It's politically embarrassing."

"What! They are going allow Talya to be killed?"

"I'm afraid so. We think there's another person with her," he said looking at me nervously.

I had that feeling that like I know what's coming is really bad news. "Who." I could do nothing but wait on his answer. He seemed to hesitate for hours.

"We think they've taken your sister Mindy thinking she was you."

I stand feeling as though I was in a dream. I slowing look for my husband, my support. We lock eyes. He knows I need him. I quickly sit back down lacking the strength to stand. I hear the Mossad agent saying we are on our own. I feel as though I'm going to faint.

"Sarah, what's wrong," Chuck asks concerned as he ran over to me.

That's when it hit's me. Walker, I need you . Please, my sister needs you. Don't abandon us now.

_You're going to owe me Walden. _

"Chuck, we've got a problem. I'll explain on the way to the airport." I turn to the Israeli agent. "I suppose you have a means of getting us off this train and getting to Camden?"

He smiled and pulled out a phone, dialed a number. "We're good. Come get us," he said.

I think I was close to loosing Walker forever. I realize now that I can't afford to do that. Like it or not, Sarah Walker and Sandy Walden are going to have to learn to coexist.

But right now all I can think about is my little sister in the hands of terrorist that care nothing for human life.

"Get what you need Chuck, we're leaving. We've got a job to do."

"What about Ellie and Devon?"

"Tell them we have to leave." I finally turn to him. "It's Mindy, they've got Mindy." If not for Sarah Walker I would have been crying on his shoulder. But Sarah keeps me focused and intent on the mission objective.

Walker doesn't even let me think about what might be happening to Mindy right now. I go to the cabin to get what little I will need. Somewhere in the depths of my consciousness I know that Chuck went to explain everything to his sister.

I sit and wait in our cabin waiting for our transportation. I remember feeling this way before I met Chuck. No emotion. Just complete and utter, intense focus.

This is exactly how I felt in Singapore.

.


	16. Chapter 15

A/N: OK, we are turning the corner for home.

Only Two Options

Chapter Fifteen

I look at the other passengers on the jet. Eli seems like a good man, hope he is as good as the Mossad said he was. I had an analyst friend of mine check up on him. I'm not going to trust my sister's life to an amateur.

I can't help but look at Chuck then. He's a full fledged agent but he's no professional.

Somewhere deep within my psyche I know that Sarah Walker has taken over. I can only imagine how I'm behaving toward Chuck. But I can't really care about that now.

I need Walker.

I need the focus she brings. I may need the brutality too. I need the ability to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Sandy Walden just doesn't have it in her to do that.

She has limits. Walker has never known a boundary.

Then, I look at the two people on board the jet that really shouldn't be here. Ellie and Devon both look scared. I still don't know why I let them come. Ellie insisted on coming when she heard my sister was being held captive. She said that if anyone gets injured, having Devon and her at the scene could save a life. Sandy Walden could not say no to that.

I know Chuck is concerned about me. I see from his expression that he doesn't know what to think about my single minded focus on the mission. At one point he grabbed my hand to comfort me. Walden would have loved it but Walker doesn't need comfort. She needs to execute as many terrorist as she can get her hands on.

So, I pull my hand from his and ask Eli if they know how much time we'll have before the CIA cleaners arrive.

"We don't know for sure. My government has lobbied hard to give us a chance to save our countrymen. Although they have not agreed to do so…we believe that they will hold back to give us one shot," Eli said without looking up from packing his weapons.

Somewhere deep inside my consciousness, I know I will have to deal with Chuck when this is over. But I don't have time to worry about that now.

Suddenly, my phone rings.

"Walker here," I say and listen to a familiar voice on the other end.

"Walker, this is Casey. I know what's going on. I'm on my way."

Before I can say anything he hangs up. I look at Chuck confused. I don't understand why Casey would risk his career for this. For me.

I push those thoughts from my mind. I need to focus. It seems a little harder to do now.

"Sarah, we'll get Mindy. Don't worry. I know we'll get her out," Chuck said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Chuck please, I know you're trying to help but I need to concentrate." I look at him briefly and see he doesn't understand my behavior. I know I should say something to assure him that it's OK but I can't.

"Sarah-" Chuck is interrupted by my phone again.

"Walker here."

"Sarah, Carina. I've heard what's going on. I'm coming to help. I expect to be in Camden in two hours. I've got a GPS on venue. See you there." The phone went dead.

_What the hell is going on?_ Casey is hard enough to understand but when Carina decides to go rogue to help me. I cannot reconcile that with what I know about my sometimes friend.

"Who was that?" Chuck said.

"Carina…she's on her way. Casey too." I look at him and I don't think even Walker can hide the tears in my eyes. "I don't get it. Why are they risking their careers for me?"

"For someone so smart you can sure be pretty dumb sometimes. Isn't it obvious…they care about you. That's why." He put his hand on my shoulder and this time I let him keep it there. It felt good. Walker is clearly confused. She doesn't seem as sure of herself right now.

But when my phone rang for the third and final time I could have been pushed over with a whisper. Before I look I know who it is, who it has to be. But somehow it seems impossible. I force myself to look at the caller ID. I'm not sure whether I laughed or cried when I read Bryce Larkin's name.

"Walker here," I said my voice breaking slightly.

"Sarah, I know what's going on. Look, I'm on my way. Look for me in about three hours." Before I could even respond the connection terminated.

I look at the phone for a moment and then to my husband. It still feels good to think of him as my husband, even with everything that's going on.

Suddenly, as I thought about my partners and ex-lover risking their very jobs to help me out, I felt an odd feeling, a strange sort of merging of my separate viewpoints concerning the world.

Sarah Walker…meet Sandy Walden.

I close my eyes for an instant but still see what appears to be a blinding light. When I open my eyes I know immediately what has happened. The two near separate personalities that I dealt with on a daily basis…had merged. I can feel the difference. And I like it. Gone is the warring…the bickering. The uncertainty of the opposite viewpoint. Now what I feel is a partnership. Like I can weigh the facts and make an informed decision.

Sarah Walker was gone.

At least that part of me that rigorously held on to the CIA rules without considering options. Now, my thinking is all about options.

I turn to Chuck who is considering me with concern. I smile at him. Even though I am mortified about the possibility of losing my sister to some idiots that only know how to hate, I know that I need to reassure not only my husband but a key member of my team. Yeah, Chuck may not be experienced but he has shown in the past to be a real asset to the team. I just need to trust him.

We hug briefly and I gasp out an involuntary sob.

"Sarah, I don't know why but I feel as though everything is going to be OK. Trust me," he says.

I laugh at the irony. When we fist met it was me that asked him to trust me. In the time that I have known Chuck he has redefined the word for me. I do trust him. I trust him with my life. I trust him with my sister's life. I take a deep breath, it's a cleansing breath.

We hug again and I whisper in his ear. "I do trust you…and believe you. I don't know how but somehow I believe you when you say everything is going to be alright."

Before Chuck and I release our embrace, I feel another set of arms around me. I don't have to look up to know they belong to my new sister in law. My new family.

I haven't gained a sister just to lose one now, I think. I look up and smile at Ellie.

_Just about an hour until touchdown, I can't wait to get there and kick some terrorist's ass._

X-X

We've set up operations at an adjacent warehouse. Carina and Casey are here. I've just heard from Bryce and he's ten minutes out. Eli has two associates with him. So when Bryce gets here that will be a total of eight resources we will have to utilize in this operation.

"Eli, we've got about an hour of daylight left. How long will our government give us before they take charge of the situation?"

"I've heard at midnight they take over," Eli says.

"That gives us about three hours to do whatever it is we're going to do," I say looking at my partners.

Two minutes later Bryce comes in having tracked my signal with his GPS. He walks up to me and smothers me in his arms.

I don't think anything about it. I know he is legitimately concerned for me. He knows how much my sister means to me.

After releasing me, he goes to Chuck and shakes his hand firmly. He only nods toward Casey and the Israelis.

"What's the plan Sarah?" Bryce said.

"I'm not sure yet. We don't really know what we're up against. We've heard at least three voices maybe four…we're not really sure." I turn to Casey and Carina for confirmation.

"Then we need eyes on the target," Bryce said.

"Bryce is as good as there is in recon," I say to the rest of the team. "Problem is," I say turning back to Bryce. "We only have until midnight…then the cleaners take over."

"OK, it'll be dark in about thirty minutes. I'll go then and see what we're up against."

I saw Bryce do a double take over toward the break area in the warehouse. Turning to see what caught his attention, I see Ellie with an expression of complete shock on her face as she finally recognized our latest teammate. She thought Bryce was dead. She thought that he was a banker. She thought he had screwed Chuck over at Stanford. She's a smart girl, by now, she's figured out who and what Bryce is.

"What's Chuck's sister doing here?" Bryce said the anger in his voice evident.

"We were on our honeymoon when I received word about Mindy. They already knew about Chuck and I…They're both doctors, we may need them."

I watch as Bryce continues to look at Ellie. He even takes a step towards her. I then look towards Ellie. She's staring back. _What the hell._ _Did Bryce and Ellie have a thing at one time?_

"Bryce," I say breaking the spell. He turns around to look at me and I watch Ellie go back to sit next to Devon. "We need to be ready as soon as it's dark enough for you to do your thing. I don't want to waist any darkness."

"I've got everything I need in that bag over there. I'm ready to go as soon as it gets just a little darker," he said going over to inspect his gear. Casey and the rest of the agents in the room were double and triple checking their gear. Well, all the agents in the room except Chuck. He was leaning up against a poll just waiting to be told what to do. He was not exactly in his element. I go over to talk with him.

"How you doing," I say.

"I should be asking you that. My sister's over there sipping on a bottled water."

"I'm OK; I just need to get this started. When Bryce gets back we'll have some idea what we're up against." I look up at Chuck gauging his mood. I decide to go ahead and say what's on my mind. "Chuck, when this starts I want you to stay with Ellie and Awesome…I couldn't stand it if we saved Mindy and you wound up getting hurt."

"Sarah, you can't tell me to stay in the car anymore. Look, I know my limitations. I'm not going in there with guns blazing…we both know that's not why I'm on the payroll now. But that doesn't mean I can't contribute. If you think about all we've been through, you'll come to realize that I hold my own. I suspect that I will have an opportunity to pull my weight tonight as well."

I don't know what to say to him. I know he's absolutely right. I know that I would be more uncomfortable if he was not here. But before I can respond, we are interrupted by Bryce.

"I'll be back as soon as I can be…be ready; we'll need to move as soon as I get back."

I watched him disappear into the night. Bryce is as good as there is when it comes to disappearing. I have complete trust in his ability.

"You heard what he said. Let's be ready to move when he gets back," I say.

Everyone went about last minute details preparing for Bryce's return. Realistically, I know that he could be gone for at least an hour. But after an hour and twenty minutes came and went, I started to get antsy.

Just when I was ready to jump out of my skin, Bryce came back into the warehouse. We all gathered around him as he went about putting some of his equipment back into his backpack. He seemed pissed.

"What did you find out?" I couldn't wait any longer.

He looked at me and then to Casey. "It's not good. It's really not good."

"What does that mean? Bryce, don't leave me hanging like this."

That seemed to get him out of his sour mood. "There are seven of them. They have the whole place wired with C4. There are two of them with RF detonators. All they have to do is push a button and the whole place goes to hell."

I wasn't aware of collapsing but realized that I must have when I found myself on the floor and Chuck rushing over to me.

"I'm OK, I'm OK," I say grabbing his hand to help me up. I look around at the team. "Any ideas?" I ask ignoring my fall.

Silence.

"Well, we can try a concurrent sniper op," Casey said.

"There are eight of us and seven of them. It is possible," Eli said.

"OK, seven targets. What's your sniper level?" I ask the Israelis.

They look at each other and discuss amongst themselves for a moment. "Two level threes and one level four," Eli replied.

"I know Casey's a four and Carina and I are pushing four." I turn to Bryce. "You still a five?"

"I was the last time I was certified but that was eight months ago. I've not put in three hours since then," he said sounding ashamed.

I ran through the calculations in my head. It took me a while because I had to double check to be sure. "We got a fifty fifty chance," I announce.

I turn my back to the group considering our options. "Only as a last resort," I say.

"The problem is the RF remote control bombs. If we could neutralize them we would be OK," Casey said.

"Hey, I think there is a way to neutralize Radio Frequency," Chuck said.

We all turn to him. "Did you flash?" I asked hopefully.

"No, but when I was at Stanford there was this professor trying to develop a means to disrupt radio frequency receivers." He looked at me taking a deep breath. "I know it was for military application. It's probably top secrete but I know it exists."

"What are you talking about some kind of black box that eliminates RF waves," Casey said.

"No, if I remember correctly it just embeds ultra low waves in between the UHF waves of receivers of this type. So the receiver is confused."

"Are you sure it would stop the bombs?" I ask him.

"I know one person who would know for sure," he says.

I know who he means and I start to dial my phone immediately. "Sir, Walker here." I listen to my boss who is plenty upset with me.

"Sir, do you have a sister?" I know that he does. "Do you think you could sit around and let some fucking terrorist blow your sister up." That shut him up. I go on the offensive while I have my chance. "I need your help sir. I need the RF neutralizer that I know the military has utilized on the warehouse where my sister is being held hostage."

Silence.

"Sir, it's my sister. And another agent. She is one of us."

"I'll see what I can do Walker. I'm making no guarantees."

"Thank you sir," I say and feel like we have a real chance of getting Mindy out of there.

In five minutes my phone rings. "Walker here."

"At twenty two hundred hours you will have five minutes. If you do this right you should only need about thirty seconds. But you got five minutes just in case."

"Thank you sir,"

I turn to the team. "We go at twenty two hundred hours. The C4 will be neutralized for five minutes."

Everything is a blur right up until we actually make the strike. When it goes down it goes down quick. We have Ellie and Devon in a car outside the warehouse. Chuck is keeping an eye on them but is also watching the rest of the team to make sure nothing bad happens inside.

He actually has a gun.

The look on Ellie's face when she saw the 9mm in his hand was something I wish I had never seen. But that was quickly put out of my mind as we burst through the door at twenty two hundred hours precisely.

It took about twenty seconds to eliminate the threat. I was looking at a couple of terrorist who were lying face down to make sure they were dead when I heard Chuck yell.

"Ellie, wait. It's not been cleared yet."

I turn to see Ellie running towards my sister and Talya, the Israeli agent.

"Ellie no," I yell and start running after her.

As she got closer to Mindy, she came to an abrupt stop. Standing between her and Mindy was the last remaining terrorist. I position myself behind him and pray I have enough time before he uses the long curved knife in his hand.

As I get within striking range of the man in front of me, he completely blocks my view of my sister in law.

I can only imagine what Ellie sees as the terrorist collapses to the ground, my own military issue knife sticking out the front of his throat, completely paralyzing the man when I twisted the blade severing his spine from his brain.

Ellie and I lock eyes for a moment. Hers shows complete and utter horror. I can only imagine what she sees in my eyes.

I run to her and grab her by the shoulders. "Take care of Mindy and Talya; they look like they need it."

That brought her out of the surreal world she found herself in. She turned and ran toward her patients who were tied up and appeared to be unconscious.

She grabbed Mindy's wrist and felt for a pulse. After a few seconds, she turned to me and smiled. "She's alive." She then did the same thing for the Israeli agent and smiled once again.

An hour later both young women were conscious and alert. The US and Israeli Governments had official people to take them to a debriefing on the way to a secure hospital. I held Mindy's hand all the way to the chopper. She was fine. Talya was fine too. Everything had worked out OK. Thanks to my friends…and especially thanks to my husband. Once again, he has saved the day.

Thirty minutes after Mindy left in a black helicopter, we have our equipment packed and are ready to leave.

"Let's go somewhere to grab a bite to eat," I say while I have a hold of my husband's hand.

"Well, as much as I would like to sit around and watch you two cuddle, I think I'll pass," Bryce said good naturedly.

I know he means it.

"Ditto to that," Casey said.

I hardly noticed. I was busy watching Bryce get ready to leave when Ellie came up to him.

"Hi Bryce. I thought you were dead."

He looked at her. "I am," he said looking towards me.

It's clear to me that they share a history. A history that I'm pretty sure Chuck is not aware of. I look over at Devon. Yeah, he's clueless as well. I look back to Ellie.

"Take care of yourself. Try not to get killed again," she said without smiling. She had that ultra serious expression I'd only seen once or twice.

There is pain between them. Yeah that's Bryce alright. There's always pain involved with a relationship with Bryce.

One day I say to myself, I will have to get the scoop on Ellie and Bryce. I suppose I will tell her about Bryce and me. We'll probably have to compare notes I think laughing to myself at how crazy life can be.

I'm brought back to the present when Carina stops in front of me and smiles.

"You owe me, Walker."

"Yeah, I do," I say acknowledging the obvious.

She gives me a hug. "I'll see you the next time you find yourself in a jam," she said turning to leave.

"Oh and Carina...the names Bartowski."

She smiles at me.

I watch them all leave. Turn to my husband and say, "Let's go to my apartment in Washington. It's just a few hours down the interstate. We'll get a flight in the morning."

"I agree as long as we both sleep in. I need about fourteen hours just to get back to being tired," he said.

I call for a cab. Just as it arrives I hear someone call my name.

"Agent Walker, lose the cab, I'll drive you two wherever you need to go," Eli said pulling up in a Mustang convertible.

"I agree if I can sleep on the way."

"Agreed."

The next thing I know, I'm standing in front of my apartment. Thirty minutes after that, Chuck and I are both in bed. I get a phone call from my sister. "That's good news," I say. "Don't' tell mom and dad that Chuck and I got married. I want to do that in person. I want you there when I do it too."

When I hang up with my sister, I turn to look at my husband. He's sound asleep.

I turn so that I can look at him until I fall asleep. Sleep came quickly to me as well. I go to sleep for the first time since becoming a CIA agent without Walker's warning about having my gun under my pillow.

At this point however, I don't need Walker to tell me that. I slide my hand under the pillow to feel the cold, hard reassurance of my Berretta.

I go to sleep with a smile on my face.

**A/N: The RF blocking device and how it works is real. I actually found the patent on it. Of course it is not for military application. **


	17. Chapter 16

A/N: Two chapters left. This one is kind of lite, hope you enjoy.

Only Two Options

Chapter 16

"Thanks for coming over Ellie. I wanted a chance to talk with you after last week's excitement. I know we may need to get some things out in the open…off our chests so to speak," I say as I hand her a cup of tea.

"Devon and I still haven't recovered from last week. Please tell me that you don't do that all the time?"

"Most of the time its very boring but on occasion we have to be ready to deal with situations like last week."

"And Chuck has been doing this for a year now?"

"Yes." I thought it was prudent not to expound on that subject.

"Sarah, I've got to tell you that I'm concerned for my brother's safety. He's not cut out for that type of work. Or at least I never thought of him in that way."

"Ellie, Chuck has surprised a lot of people over the last 12 months, myself included."

I watch her take a sip of tea. She still has not come to grips with everything that has happened. One of my goals for today is to ease her down the path of letting last week go. I know one subject that we need to talk about was my killing the terrorist right in front of her.

"Ellie, I know there were some things that happened in the warehouse that were not pleasant. If you need to talk about anything, I just want you to know that I'm here."

Ellie looked at her cup before looking at me abruptly. "Honestly Sarah, I don't know how you do it."

"I don't understand Ellie…do what?"

"Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that you killed that man. She looked at me earnestly. "I know he was going to kill me. The look in his eye…I'd never seen anything like it," she said getting interested in her cup again.

"Go on Ellie, you can tell me anything," I say realizing she is struggling to say more.

"I'd never seen anything like it until I looked into your eyes after you killed him. They were just like his," Ellie said as she collapsed sobbing.

I was too stunned to soothe her. Her words hit me like a heavyweight's straight right. I had never thought of it from the point of view of someone like Ellie before. I had always said to myself that I was on the side of right, but when someone who is completely innocent cannot see the difference between the look in my eyes as I kill a terrorist and the terrorist trying to kill an innocent person, it made me question some of my fundamental beliefs.

"Ellie, I couldn't let him kill you." I could only gasp out the sentence.

"Sarah, I'm grateful…I'm just saying I don't know how you do it. I'm also concerned about what this is doing to my brother," she said wiping at her eyes.

I give Ellie another puzzled look.

"Sarah, forgive me if this seems harsh but you live in a savage world. I wish I had never seen it. And I worry what impact that world is going to have on my little brother," she said her eyes imploring me to understand that she was not being critical of me. "I've seen a side of you that I never knew existed. That I would have never dreamed possible. I don't want Chuck to ever have the look in his eye that I saw in yours." She knew she was hurting me with her words but she needed to speak up for Chuck.

"Ellie, you know I love your brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him… nothing."

"Sarah, I would like to believe you. But tell me this, if there is truly nothing you wouldn't do for Chuck does that include letting him go and allowing him out of this horrible life."

I can feel the tears as they begin to stream down my cheek. Oddly enough, they tickle as the slide down. After actually considering what Ellie asked me, I had to answer her honestly. "Ellie, I'm sorry but no. I could never give Chuck up at this point. You don't know how hard it's been for us to get to where we are."

I look at her to see if she understands what I'm saying. "Ellie, to give Chuck up now, after everything we've been through…it would end me." I put my face in my hand to hide my own tears, ashamed to allow Ellie to see me cry.

Ellie moved from the chair she was sitting in to sit beside me on the sofa. "Hey Sarah, I wasn't asking you to let him go…I just wanted to know, to understand the level of commitment." She trailed off understanding how much she had upset me.

"Ellie don't ever ask me to let him go to save him from this life," I say through my tears. "Bryce did that and I've come to believe that it was a mistake."

"Bryce did that. What do you mean?"

_Shit, I meant to bring Bryce up on my own terms_. "You know by now that Bryce works for the government too. Bryce got Chuck kicked out of Stanford but you don't know why. His professor had targeted Chuck to be an agent. Bryce didn't think he was cut out for the job and arranged to have him expelled to save him from this life." I watch her closely for anything her expression might give away. She seemed somewhat relieved.

"So Bryce wasn't being a jerk. He was looking out for Chuck?" she said looking relieved.

Somewhat begrudgingly I answered truthfully, "That's right."

"Does Chuck know?"

Oh yeah, I'm definitely picking up a vibe from Ellie where it comes to Bryce. "Yeah, he knows. There's something else I should tell you," I say suddenly curious as to how this will play itself out, "about Bryce that is."

Ellie looks at me expectantly. "About Bryce?"

"Yeah, here's the thing. Bryce and I worked together before I met Chuck. I waited to see if she would pick up on what I was saying. She did not. "What I'm saying is that Bryce and I were together for over two years while we worked together." I saw the flash of understanding and then the flash of anger in Ellie's eyes but it quickly faded. I'd seen that same flash in Chuck's eyes before.

"You and Bryce?"

"Yeah, you can imagine how that played itself out when Chuck learned that little detail?"

"I'm beginning to understand what you meant when you said that you and Chuck have overcome so many hurdles to get to this point."

"Ellie, the Bryce thing is just a minor bump in the road. We've overcome some bigger issues than that."

"I see," she said but I can see she is processing a lot of information.

"Ellie, can I ask you a question changing the subject for a second."

She seemed hesitant to leave the current subject but agreed anyway.

"When Chuck was at Stanford did he come home every summer?"

"He did his the first two years but stayed through the summer his third year…and you know what happened his senior year."

So it must have been when Chuck stayed at Stanford the summer of his junior year that Ellie and Bryce hooked up. Suddenly, I knew what Bryce had done. He had just begun his training and if I'm not mistaken he had just completed his seduction training at that time. What does he do? He seduces his best friend's older sister. Most likely to test out the training. That was just so like Bryce. If he were here right now I would have beat the shit out of him.

"You know Ellie; I don't think anyone knows Bryce as well as I do unless it's Chuck. I can tell you that I've gone from thinking that he is a jerk to being a descent guy to being an even bigger jerk to being decent again. I can tell you right now, I'm thinking he's the biggest jerk on the planet. If I were you, I would not waste one thought on Bryce Larkin."

Ellie regarded me with a wary eye. "Why would you say such a thing…about me and Bryce?"

"I only meant that if for-"

"Sarah, it's OK. You obviously know about Bryce and I and from your earlier question about Chuck being home in the summers you've figured out when Bryce and I had our little fling. I've never told anyone. It would feel good to talk about it with someone. I just didn't think that someone would be my sister in law….and his former lover."

I laugh. "It's a little twisted."

We both laugh at that, easing the tension.

"I've felt guilty you know.

"Excuse me," I say.

"I felt guilty for my fling with Bryce. It's the only thing that I've deliberately kept from Chuck."

"You know Ellie; some things are better left alone. It's so long ago and it has no effect your life now. I don't see any reason to tell Chuck about it…Devon might need to know."

"Oh, he knows. I told him last night." She stopped talking and looked at her hands in her lap and I knew she wanted to change the subject.

"Sarah, remember when I asked you earlier about letting Chuck go so he could leave the CIA?"

"Yes," I said alarm showing in my voice.

"What about you? Now that you're married to my brother why don't you both consider doing something a little less dangerous?"

There it was. The question that I know she really wanted to ask me. I don't know how honest I can be with her on this.

"Ellie, we are contracted employees of the US Government. The fact is my contract runs out next summer but Chuck has a number of years to go before he is free to pursue other opportunities and I won't let him stay in without me. I will have to re-up to continue to work with him."

"What? You mean to tell me you can't just quit?"

"It's a similar contract as a soldier with the military. You can't just walk away. And to tell you the truth, until I met Chuck I never once thought about walking away. I use to love my job. Yeah, there were certain aspects of it that I didn't like but overall it was the perfect job for who I was at the time."

"And you're a different person now?"

"Absolutely."

"But is Chuck at different person too? I have to tell you Sarah, that's my worst fear…my little brother turning into someone like…" Ellie look away from me. "Well you know what I mean."

I know that Ellie is trying hard not to judge Casey and me but there is no getting around the fact that she doesn't want her brother to end up like us. I have to admit it's painful.

"I fell in love with Chuck the way he is now. I don't want him to change either. I don't want someone like Bryce. I want Chuck and I promise you Ellie, I'll do everything in my power to see that Chuck stays Chuck."

"Sarah, I love you. I want you to know that. You have captured my brother's heart and in so doing you've captured mine. We've talked frankly here today but after all is said and done; I want you to know that I'm behind you. I know that you and I want the best for Chuck. If you ever need anything from me all you have to do is ask."

I know that Ellie is just like Chuck. She doesn't say things like that just to say them, she means it.

"I promise if I need your help, I'll ask for it," I say with a tearful smile.

Ellie stands up to leave and I stand with her.

"Oh, and Ellie. I want you to know something too…I love you." She smiled at me and we hugged each other and cried because we were happy.

"I've got to get out of here. I promised Devon I would make dinner tonight and I've got to go to the grocery to get some items I need."

As Ellie walked out the door I thought of something I meant to ask her. "Ellie, could I ask a favor of you sometime?"

"What did I just say?"

"I know…but you've got to know I've not had a big sister to ask advice of ever. It's not easy for me."

"Well little sister…ask away."

"Do you think you could teach me how to cook?" I said and smiled as Ellie laughed at me good naturedly.

"We'll start tomorrow."

After Ellie left I sat down in my chair, in my apartment that I share with my husband. I am going to learn how to cook…of all things. What did I ever do to deserve this life? I look at my watch and realize that Chuck will be home soon.

What did I ever do to deserve someone like Chuck?


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: One more chapter left. I had numerous requests for this ending. I had planned on doing it anyway so it was easy to accommodate. **

Thanks for all who have taken the time to respond.

For all of you readers, your comments are the only reward we writers receive. I would ask on behalf of all writers that you let them know what you think when you read their effort. It means a lot.

Only Two Options

Chapter 17

This needs a little more salt, I think as I sample Chuck's lunch. He'll be here any minute and I'm hurrying to get everything ready before he arrives. I feel good about the result of spending the last two and a half hours in the kitchen. Ever since I quit my cover job to stay at home and be a wife, I've had much more time to cook. Of course, only Ellie and Devon are the only people in LA that knows Chuck and I are actually married. Well not counting Casey that is. I smile when I think of Casey's reaction when he found out that Chuck and I got married in Vegas. That was tame compared to General Beckman's outburst. In the end Director Graham came to our aid and everything has been running smooth ever since.

I hear his car pull up out front and know I've run out of time.

"Honey, I'm home," Chuck said walking through the door.

I meet him as he steps into the kitchen. "How's your day going?" I ask as I wrap my arms around his neck, stand on my toes and reach up to kiss him.

"Not bad…is that chicken pot pie I smell?"

"You bet it is…who knows how to take care of her daddy?" I say with a smug smile on my still upturned face.

His smile grew and then he swept me up and twirled me around. "Sandy Bartowski, have I told you how much I love you today?"

"Hum, once in bed this morning, once after you made my breakfast. And let's see, once as you were leaving for work. Yeah, I think you've got today covered. But you know you can always get bonus points good for a get out of jail free card," I say smiling up into his eyes.

"Well then I would have to say once more for good measure that I love you, I love you, I love you."

"You know what they say about flattery?" I say still on my toes, my arms wrapped around his neck and loving being with my husband.

"What's that?" he asks playing along.

"Flattery will get you some chicken pot pie." I grab his tie and pull him into the kitchen.

"Sit down you big strong hard working man and let your little wifey fix you some lunch." He loves it when I play the little housewife.

I have him sit on the bar stool and turn to get his food. But before I could get out of arms reach, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me back to him.

"The food can wait," he says as he kisses the back of my neck.

I hear him inhale deeply as he takes in the fragrance of my hair. I know he loves that. I tilt my head back and allow him to inhale get his fill. I turn in his arms quickly and push away while smiling at him.

"You better let me feed you before you run out of time. I'd sure hate for you to leave hungry after I've gone to all of the trouble of making my famous chicken pot pie."

He let go of my hand reluctantly and I went to get our food. I returned with the delicacy and a glass of ice tea for the both of us. Sitting the food down in front of him, I then sat down opposite of him and watched his expression. I always get a thrill out of the excitement he gets from something I've cooked. Just a year ago I would have never thought it possible for me to learn how to cook chicken pot pie from scratch let alone enjoy feeding it to my husband, Chuck Bartowski.

Midway through the meal I think of something I've been meaning to ask Chuck since out mission last night.

"Honey, how did you know the codes weren't in the safe…did you flash?"

"No, it took me a while but I finally put all the pieces of the puzzle together. The only person Thompson would trust with something that valuable is Thompson. I knew he had to have them on him somewhere."

"Well, you were right. They found a microscopic chip in his scalp. Graham called this morning right after you left for work."

"I know, he called me too. He wanted to congratulate us for a job well done."

I recognize Chuck being Chuck. "He didn't call to congratulate us…he called to congratulate you," I said very proud of my husband.

"I told him it was a team effort."

"I'm sure you did but the truth is we were going to follow our plan to the letter. That would have gained us nothing. Only you saw that we had to go after Thompson, only you are responsible for this bust."

"I better start producing on my own pretty soon. I'm not going to have my beautiful wife to fall back on after next month."

I don't know why but the thought of Chuck going on missions without me still brings a knot of fear twisting into my heart like an assassin's knife. It isn't logical because over the last eight months since Chuck has become an agent for the CIA, he has one of the most outstanding records in the company. But still…

"Sarah, I know you're worried but you know as well as I do you couldn't sign up for another ten years."

"I know, but that won't keep me from worrying when you and Casey go off without me."

"Speaking of that…what are you going to do with yourself. I know you have a short list. Have you made any decisions?"

"I think so. I'm going to accept the Department of States offer to enforce ITAR regulations."

Chuck got up from his seat and came to me and wrapped his arms around me. "That's great. I know you'll be happy with that job. I just worry that we will have to spend some time apart occasionally."

"I gave you the chance to object because of the travel."

"I know, I know. We'll figure it out. Just like we always do…right?"

I smile at my husband. Reaching up to lay my hand on his face, I tell him I love him.

"Like you have any choice but to love the handsome and dashing Charles Carmichael."

"You're right.," I say but this time instead of a caress, I smack him on the cheek.

"Ouch, the handsome and dashing Charles Carmichael has managed to piss off his beautiful leading lady," he said, his eyes dancing like they always do when we engage in this kind of repartee.

"That's because the handsome and dashing Charles Carmichael is sometimes too full of himself," I say.

"What about the eternally lucky Chuck Bartowski?" he pull me back towards him by his grasp upon my waist.

"The eternally lucky Chuck Bartowski just might live up to his moniker if he sweet talks his leading lady."

"Lucky uh? The beautiful leading lady has no clue just how fortunate Chuck Bartowski feels to be married to someone as beautiful and wonderful as Sandy Bartowski."

"Oh, you're just begging now."

"Am not. Totally serious."

"In that case, when you get home tonight the eternally lucky Chuck Bartowski will indeed be lucky…eternally is a very long time though…you sure you can live up to that standard?"

"Ouch again. That hurts worse than the slap," he said pulling me in for another kiss.

When we broke free I pushed away from him again. "Finish your food. We'll get out the stop watch tonight…eternally is a very long time," I say laughing as I sit back down.

"Hey tonight might be our last night together for a while. What's your schedule like the rest of the week?" I say pulling out my phone.

Chuck does the same and we compare notes.

"Thursday is my programming lab, I can't miss that. Only three more classes left."

"How soon after you transfer the credit will it be before Stanford grants your degree?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think it will take long."

"Just let Graham know if there's a problem. He'll take care of it I'm sure."

"At this point I can't imagine a glitch now," Chuck said will studying his phone.

"What about Friday? I'm free this Friday," Chuck says looking hopeful at me.

"I can't this Friday…Ellie is having one of the lingerie parties. No men invited."

"Aw, come on…not even the handsome and daring Charles Carmichael?"

"Especially the handsome and daring Charles Carmichael. Women in lingerie, wine and the handsome and daring Charles Carmichael is a recipe sure to make the beautiful leading lady very upset. But if it's any consolation to you…I promise to bring something home that you'll like."

"Well, we'll just have to wait until the weekend then," Chuck said a little disappointed.

"And don't forget about next week…the first annual Walden-Bartowski family reunion." I look at him to see if he had forgotten. He hadn't.

"Now how can I forget about that?" Chuck said smiling at me. He knows how excited I am for our two families to finally meet.

"I hope this becomes an annual event," I say earnestly.

"You know what happens the week after next?" Chuck said and I know he is watching my response to gage my emotions. "Sarah, you should be very proud of the work you've done. Ten years is enough for anyone in this line of work."

"Look at Casey," I say. "He's working on twenty two years."

"Yeah, look at him. He's a good guy but you can see the toll those years have taken."

I have to admit that Chuck's right. I just can't stand the fact that I'm leaving the agency and Chuck will have almost nine years left before he can retire. I know as the next nine years unfolds that I will have some tense moments waiting on my husband to come home from a dangerous mission.

"Chuck, I've got to tell you I'm a little nervous about you going to the retirement party. I'm afraid of what you might hear about my early time with the company. I've told you everything I can remember but I worry about something I've forgotten. And you know how wild I was back then?"

"Sarah, remember when you asked me to never access your Singapore mission file…and then when you finally told me about it. Do you remember my reaction?"

I have to laugh when I think of how terrified I was when I finally told him of my actions after a particular failed mission. I really thought he would think less of me. He just laughed.

Of all the reactions that I had imagined in my mental imaging, laughing never occurred to me.

"Just remember that Singapore was your worst memory…there is nothing I'm going to hear that is going to even disappoint me…so let's just have a great time."

"Deal," I say as I get up and take his dirty dishes to the sink. "Looks like we have tonight and then we'll have to wait until the weekend.

Chuck got up and kissed me on the neck as I stood at the sink. I know that's his way of saying thank you for the wonderful lunch.

"Sarah, I think I'll be home early tonight. We're having a slow day today."

Drying off my hands with the kitchen towel, I meet my husband at the front door. I give him another kiss to last the afternoon. "I'll see you tonight husband," I say and watch him leave for work.

X-X

Chuck came in from work and like he sometimes does when he's had a particularly stressful day, he went to play video games. I didn't even know what game he was playing.

"Chuck, how was your day?" I asked.

"Thanks honey," he said with his face glued to the TV screen.

That's when I knew that it was time to see who would win the bet. As I heard him clicking away at his controller, I went to take a shower. I drive Chuck crazy when I walk around the apartment in the nude while still drying off.

Hopping out of the shower, I dry my hair and run a brush through it. I quickly dry off leaving just a bit of moisture on my body.

I've put this off because I am ambivalent about the results. On one hand, I want to win the bet and walk around completely naked without Chuck noticing. But on the other hand, I know I will be disappointed if that happens.

Taking a deep breath, I walk into the spare bedroom where Chuck keeps his video gear and slip right past him. I walk over to the nightstand where we agreed to keep the stopwatch, picking it up and hitting the button causing the time to start. If I can walk around in this room for a minute without Chuck noticing, I win the bet and Chuck has to fix my breakfast on demand for one year. If Chuck notices me, he wins the bet and has to cook my breakfast for me for the rest of our lives. I have to smile thinking back to that time at my parent's house when Chuck in effect asked me to marry him. I can remember how shallow my breathing became as I realized what he was asking me. I smile even bigger when I recall me response.

For all intense and purposes this is a meaningless bet because ever since that day at my parents, Chuck has without fail made breakfast for me in some fashion. Knowing Chuck the way I do, I don't look for that to stop any time soon.

My mind drifts as I think of some of our favorite times together. Suddenly, I look down at the stopwatch and realize there are only ten seconds left before I win. Almost unconsciously, I stand right beside him as I count down the time. Seven, six, five-

"I noticed you exactly fifty five seconds ago if you're wondering," he said looking up at me smiling. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me down on top of him.

I couldn't help but laugh. It was the first time in my memory that I was happy about losing a bet. It felt good to know that I am more important to him than his silly video games.

We kissed long and passionately until finally we both needed air.

"If I recall correctly, I believe I might have said something about the eternally lucky Chuck Bartowski living up to his name," I said standing up and leading him towards our bedroom, looking back at him with my most seductive look.

"Did I ever tell you how eternally grateful the eternally lucky Chuck Bartowski is?" he said following me.

"Shutup and concentrate on the word eternally," I say smiling as I close our bedroom door.


	19. Only Two Options Finale

A/N: I want to thank everyone that's taken the time to respond.

Only Two Options

Finale

The sun is warm against my face as I close my eyes and feel the moment. I hear happy children playing in my parent's pool…my children. To this day, I sometimes turn around and cannot believe that I am a mom. But I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am to be the mother of Nathan and Emily Bartowski.

A light breeze caresses my skin providing a tug of war of comfort with the sun. I hear my husband laughing while he plays with our greatest joy, our children. I hear there giggles as they splash around in the pool; the sound is like music to my ears. Nathan was born seven years ago and Emily five and half.

The back yard of my parent's home should be on a magazine cover. The flowers look and smell wonderful. The grounds are green and lush as the trees sway gently in the Maine mid-august breeze. I open my eyes and see hummingbirds dart around as they gather the nectar from the flowers surrounding the pool. I just can't imagine having a better life.

We are celebrating the tenth annual Walden – Bartowski family reunion. I look over to Ellie and Devon sitting across from me on the other side of the pool. They look so happy now that Ellie is pregnant. She was told that she most likely would never get pregnant and now look at her. Seven months never looked better on anyone. I'm so happy for her because I don't know anyone that wanted to be a mother more than Ellie Woodcomb.

I look out towards the back of the estate and see Mindy and her CIA analyst husband Henry. Chuck and I laugh at the similarity between Mindy and Henry and Chuck and I. She's the CIA agent and he's a CIA analyst. They actually met while on the job. Mindy like me, fought her feelings for Henry but for them, just like Chuck and I, it was inevitable. I watch them walking along the hedge bordering the property, even their hand holding looks sensual. I am happy that my sister found love while working for the CIA. Both she and I beat the odds for sure.

The best thing though is that Mindy is retiring next month along with Chuck. I can't believe that it's been ten years. For the most part these past ten years have gone by without much drama.

Early on though Casey and I had to reach a compromise, I wanted mission details to better understand what Chuck would be dealing with and Casey had the nerve to say that civilians were not privy to such details. I laugh when I think how tense the situation became. We almost came to blows. In the end, Chuck convinced Casey that he might as well tell me since Chuck would the first chance he got anyway.

And then there was the time when Chuck was taken to hospital with a minor stab wound. I was five months pregnant with Nathan and when I got to the hospital I just about beat the crap out of Casey for not protecting Chuck. Casey pointed out to me that protecting Chuck was no longer his job and that Chuck could protect himself. I wasn't listening and there was nothing he could do to fight back against a hormonally challenged, very angry pregnant woman bent on breaking his neck. I still laugh when I visualize Casey running out of the ER holding his nose.

I feel bad sometimes when I think about how badly I treated John at times. I know that over the last ten years that he has saved Chuck's skin more than once. Chuck's done the same for him as well. That's what partners do for each other.

I guess over the last ten years the hardest mission I had to deal with and I know for a fact that it was the worst for Chuck and Mindy too was when they went undercover as husband and wife. Of course nothing happened but to hear both of them tell the story just the sight of the other one in their underwear was a little too creepy. Chuck did tell me later that Mindy had a nice ass. I never told her that. Just like I never told Chuck that Mindy said Chuck was impressive in his BVD's.

I'm brought out of my daydreaming by the sound of my mother coming down the steps to the pool area.

"Anyone want lemonade? It's fresh squeezed," she said smiling as Nathan and Emily both responded positively and got out of the pool.

That gave Chuck a chance to rest and he came over to me and dried off.

"Hey beautiful. What do you say we take a walk after while," he said giving me that smile reserved for only me. He sat down beside me and grabbed my hand.

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Does it work?"

I laugh at him. "It works this time. I'm not sure how successful you would be with another woman."

"Ha, as long as it works with you, that's all that maters to me."

I look into his eyes and am rewarded with a look of sincerity that the CIA never eliminated. With all the missions that he's been on and some of them were not pleasant, he still sees people as basically good. I think that's what attracted me to him the most. He is just a really good person and he sees everyone else as being like him.

My mother catches my eye as she walks over to talk with Ellie and Devon.

"Ellie, did you get a chance to try that recipe I emailed you?" mom said as she handed them both lemonade.

"I did mom," Ellie said. "It was fantastic. Devon never liked eggplant before but now it's one of his favorite dishes."

I smile at Ellie and my mother. They have become so close over the years. It's been really good for mom and I know it's been really good for Ellie to have a mother again.

I watch Mindy and Henry come up to the pool, she quickly surveys the area. I know she learned to do that in the CIA. In an instant she's figured out that she can talk to me about something without other people being in earshot. She sits down to my left. Chuck is on my right and Henry is on the far side of Mindy.

"Hey sis," she says while keeping her eye on our mother. "Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Shoot," I say trying to sound nonchalant. I see that Mindy has something on her mind.

"When you retired…did you…I mean…were you happy about it?"

I look over at Chuck who seems interested in my reply too. "Are you asking me if I regretted leaving the company?" I ask her and see her nod her head affirmatively. "Well I can say that there were times that I missed going out on a particular mission with Chuck, but no…I never regretted it. I just knew that for the long haul I needed to get out." I know that Mindy knows that I meant for Chuck and I to go the distance, I needed to retire. "Are you having second thoughts?" I ask.

Mindy looks at Henry and then to me. "God no, I can't wait. Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of my service to my country. But now, well…we'd like to start a family. You just can't do that if you're a woman in the CIA."

"I'm proud of you," I say looking intently into her eyes.

"You know sis, when I first told you that I had joined the CIA…I remember seeing this look of pride on your face but also a look of sadness too. I never understood that look of sadness until I met Henry. I know how lucky I am to have found a guy like him in my profession."

"Mindy, you and I are so very fortunate. I know that you know that. It just doesn't happen like this for most of the deep cover agents…men or women. Relationships are not what we're trained to do."

"And yet here we are. How do you explain that?"

I didn't even have to think about it because it was something I had thought of many times before. "We had an example. Whether we knew it or not, we had our dad to show us what qualities to look for in a man…and we both did that. He is quiet but strong in his convictions of what's right and what's wrong and he taught us those convictions. Chuck and Henry have the same convictions. We were attracted to that." I look at Chuck and smile.

Mindy looks past me to Chuck. "Well Chuck, are you ready for next month?"

"You bet I am. It's been ten years since Sandy and I have worked together. I'm just really stoked about joining her at the state department," he said.

"So what are you going to do?" I ask my sister.

"I have an appointment with the OBGYN the following day of the ceremony. I'm going to work at getting pregnant." Mindy beams at Henry and I can see the love between them. It makes me happy to think of her so loved and know that she will be taken care of.

I hear mom coming down the steps again. "Sandy, your father and I are going to take Nathan and Emily to Mackworth Island. Who wants to come along?" she said excitedly. She doesn't get to see her grandchildren that often so when they do, mom and dad like to do something special.

"I think I'm going to stay here mom," I say and watch everyone else go into the house to change for the trip. Chuck and I exchange a look before he disappears into the house. He knows that I will enjoy my time alone. A mom doesn't get this kind of opportunity that often. He knows how much I will enjoy the peace and quiet of the sun and the water.

X-X

I must have drifted off because the sound of the car leaving the property awakens me. I look up at the blue sky with white billowy clouds floating across my vision. The weather is ideal. I am happy and content.

For some reason the peace and quiet causes me to reflect on my life. I'm not proud of my high school years and the time I spent with Ben. But I was able to put Ben behind me. I still get a thrill thinking of that night Chuck and I locked him out of his cabin. We talk about it every now and then.

I wonder about Bryce. I know that he failed on the ultimate mission and left the agency. He just couldn't handle not coming out on top. In that respect, Chuck is so much stronger than Bryce. Chuck could have failed a hundred times but would always get back up to try again. That's actually how he won my heart. He never gave up.

I had hoped that Bryce would contact Chuck at some point but I suppose that Chuck represents another failure for Bryce. When I chose Chuck over Bryce, I know it was painful for him. I doubt that we ever hear from him again. Only God knows what he's doing now.

And then there's John Casey. What can I say about John Casey?

I absolutely love him.

If I needed someone to watch my back…it would have to be Casey. I know that he has such a hard exterior but only those of us who know him best understand that he's really a big teddy bear.

I worry about him with Chuck retiring. He is adamant that he has another ten years left in him. But I don't think he will stick it out with Chuck gone. I've tried to get him to think about applying as an ITAR inspector with the State Department. But we are considered civilians and I don't think he's ready to give up his military status.

That brings me to Carina. My best friend in the business. She went deep undercover four years ago and hasn't been heard from since. She's officially listed as MIA but the word is that she was killed. And that just reinforces in me the thought of how lucky I am to be married to Chuck and the mother of his children. I could have ended up just like Carina. It makes me think of the time in my old hotel room when I tried my best to call my old boss, Arthur Graham. I thought at the time that I only had only two options. Ask for a reassignment or stay with Chuck. I realize now that there was never a second choice. I only had one option from the beginning. From the time I watched Chuck help that young father with his daughter's ballet recital in the Buy More, I only had one option.

Stay with Chuck.

At first to protect him because it was my job. But ever so slowly, he grew on me and before I was even aware of it myself, my only option was to love him with all of my heart.

I've been true to that option since I realized that it was all I had available to me.

And now, with my sister and my husband both retiring next month, it is apparent to me that I am the luckiest woman in the world. A wonderful husband, two wonderful children, a close family, great friends and finally a great job that I'm going to be, once again, sharing with my husband. What more could I ask for.

Life is good because I had only one option.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story. I am going to let some of the other writers carry the torch for a while. Battling a huge case of burn out.


End file.
